fh Sister Drama

I can't wear heels because of foot/ankle problems and would not be able to be part of a wedding if I was required to wear 3in heels. If you can find a similar style without a heel, would it really matter that much?

Isn't it a bit early to be worrying about shoes and dresses yet. Your wedding is nearly 2 years away...

Do you know if she was really insecure about her arms, or does she merely not like the look of the dress, if she's really insecure about her arms then you should have taken it into account. But if she's only complaining that the dress isn't that flattering well really she should suck it up. It's not unreasonable for you to want matching dresses for your BMs. You've accommodated her a lot, and she's still continuing to fuss. It's not a big ask for her to wear the shoes you picked out for a few hours is it, unless she's got a medical issue with her foot/knees or back.

Don't you want your bridesmaids, your nearest and dearest, to look and feel their best on your wedding day? If they're uncomfortable, it will absolutely show in your pictures, which you really seem to care about since you wanted a matching bridal party.

If the date is wrong on your profile, I agree with other people - don't ask for opinions if you don't want to hear them. If the BM dresses are long, let them pick shoes.

Well, I guess she thinks she deserves an opinion now that you asked before or that's just how she is. I would brace yourself for it next to be about hair, makeup etc etc.

She needs to understand that it's your and her brother's wedding, that if she wants to be in the wedding then she either gets what you want or she can step down. I know that sounds bad. But, don't let her stress you out. Sounds like she's causing another issue with your bridesmaids too. Tell you FH to talk to her privately and explain to her this is how you and him want your wedding day to look (have express the your wedding and not hers to her), that she will have her chance to wear and dictate to her bridal party what she wants them to wear and look like when it is her day, explain to her we compromised on the dresses and that if she is unwilling to compromise and wear the shoes you want (she doesn't have to buy them) then she can step down.

I'm a strong believer in it's your day and do what you want. I know to some that sounds bad. But, you gotta put your foot down. Luckily for me, all of my bridesmaids have been in other weddings or gotten married and they all told me "we will wear what you want - ti's your day." I picked dresses that look good on everyone and they got their own shoes.

If your bridesmaids need help finding a dress, I recommend azazie.com - that's where my girls got theirs.

Are you willing to compromise and have a smaller heel but still have them all match?

I agree, she's being overbearing...you've already been accommodating about the dress, and its expected that all of the maids match (atleast traditionally).