fh has 4 sisters and I'm only asking 1 to be a bridesmaid

I am in the same exact boat! He has 4 sisters and I’m only having 1 of them as a bridesmaid. I am much closer with the 1 sister and we see her far more often than the others. I felt kind of bad but I don’t think his other sisters are offended because we don’t know each other well and 2 of them are very busy with 5 kids each. I think if you’re not close to the others then this is acceptable and you should only ask those your are close to and comfortable with.

Don’t ask the other sisters because you feel obligated- I’ve seen way too many brides do that & it ended horribly.

I think this is opening the door for drama. You have tons of time to form strong relationships with his other sisters too, you don’t want to start your marriage with them feeling badly (intended or not).

ETA: I would invite non or all as bridesmaids.

This is difficult because you’re the bride it’s your choice but for some reason weddings bring all the drama in the world and the last thing you would want is to start your marriage with unintentional drama with his sisters that weren’t picked and possibly causing the sister you did pick to feel uncomfortable when/if her sisters make comments about it. I would do all or none personally just to keep the peace with your new family. An alternative can be allowing the sister you are close with to be a speaker at your wedding. Maybe she could give a toast or read a poem or scripture at the ceremony if she is comfortable. Something that will acknowledge her and the close relationship you have without excluding her sisters.

Yikes. I know the “right” answer is to say that it is your wedding and your choice…. But I fear choosing 1 sister and excluding 3 may cause hard feelings or drama that could potentially affect your future relationships with them. Unless the sister was one of my best friends for many years, I personally couldn’t bring myself to do that.

Maybe ask her directly ? I think it’s a fair conversation to have. Either way she’ll know you’re thinking of her, and she best understands her relationship dynamic with her siblings. In my family this would be a non issue and no big deal at all, but certainly every set of siblings is different.

My FH has 3 sisters and he's extremely close with one. He wanted her to be his Best Woman, so he asked and she very excitedly said yes. His other 2 sisters have not been upset that they aren't in the bridal party at all. I think it really depends on the sisters and what kind of people they are. If they know you're closer to this one sister than them, then they shouldn't necessarily be upset about it. Maybe discuss with your FH or the sister you want to ask to see what their thoughts on the situation are.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%. Logically, of course it's your choice and you should get to choose whoever you'd like in your wedding party. And choosing one out of four (and excluding three) is better than choosing three out of four (and excluding one). But personally, I think I would either include all or none in this scenario.

Would you rather deal with the potential drama from only choosing 1 sister (only you know if that would cause drama or not), or with the lengthy drama that could come from roping in people who may not be your #1 supporters in bridal shower planning, bachelorette party planning/attending, wedding planning? Despite what anybody says on this board, being a bridesmaid is a pretty big commitment in terms of time, money and energy, even if the only real commitment is showing up on the wedding day. Just be aware that if you have people that are not your #1 supporters in your bridal party, you may be left trying to deal with lots of negative emotions from your bridesmaids about the level of commitment you may be expecting.

The main question is who is closest to the sister? Is she your BFF? Or does she have a closer relationship with fiancé? It is ok for her to stand on his side. Your attendants should be those you are closest to regardless of gender, and his attendants those closest to him.

If she's the only sister you feel comfortable asking to be a bridesmaid, then go for it. It sounds to me that you're not as close to the other three. The bridesmaids should be the people who know you the best and that you value most above anyone else to share that stage with you. If, by some chance, the other sisters give you guff, then find other tasks for them. Maybe one can be in charge of decorations while another helps with flowers. Are any of them particularly gifted in certain areas? For example, are any of them bakers or chefs? If so, they could help plan the menu, or if there's one who's really talented, maybe she could make your cake. (Think of the money you'd save!) There are plenty of ways to involve them, if they want to be involved, even if they're not bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment I love that, Kristen!

View Quoted Comment

My FH has three older sisters. When we first got engaged, all three were adamant that they did NOT want to be bridesmaids. I'm only remotely close to one of them, who apparently said after the fact that she would have been a bridesmaid if I had asked, but I had no intention to ask. Now she and his other sisters are finding other ways to help. One is putting together a photo booth, and another is designing our seating chart.

Just ask the older sister if you feel like you have to include the girls maybe they can read a poem or be ushers