FH doesn't want to say vows at ceremony?

I cannot imagine a wedding without vows

You don't need personalized vows. Just do the repeat after the officiant thing.

We are already doing the repeat after officiant thing! sorry forgot to include that.

My cousin just had this same dilemma. They ended up reading each others. They said it took the stress off of them, since it wasn't their words, rather they were reading the others. But it did get slightly confusing at times (bride talking about herself etc). Just an idea. Also it sound like it was just a "recommendation"..and he is absolutely not alone when it comes to nerves during that time. So, ultimately, she should still be able to read them if your FH is absolutely uncomfortable. It's a big day for him too and you don't want a fear of public speaking to stress him out more.

Do you mean he doesn't want to personalised vows? Those are lovely, but not necessary. He must say the "I do" stuff as that's the legal part of the ceremony that must be included.

Edit: Saw your update. I mean., you can't force him if he REALLY doesn't want to. I was nervous as heck and felt so nervous about all the people listening and watching. On the day I wasn't nervous at all. The rest of the guests didn't matter, I was just talking to my husband.

In most states, he has to say something or at least agree to vows. If he doesn't want to say personal words, you could write each other a letter that you can read that morning.

Sometimes just not saying the vows into a mic will help with that. Just say them to each other.....

Thank you guys for your suggestions! Just wanted to let you know that we will be saying the vows made by the officiant "I will, etc" but we are debating about how/if we will do our personal vows in front of everyone.

Just do the traditional repeat after me. The personal ones you can both write them down and give to each other privately.

Oh, then there's no reason to do personalized vows. Some people aren't comfortable with that.

I've heard of doing personal vows completely alone after the ceremony. Some have photographers others don't. I think it's sweet, and if he is shy, but you still want that moment, it's not a bad idea.

I love the idea of a letter the morning of the wedding instead of saying personalized vows.

Just have him do the "repeat after me" and "i do", and not into a microphone. Personalized vows aren't necessary.

I misunderstood. I thought you meant he didn't want to say "i do"!!!

Didn't you ask this question awhile back? And about doing your vows at the reception?

I will give my same response. You could always read your personal vows to each other at a first look if he feels more comfortable with that. Then do the typical repeat after me vows during the ceremony.

FH and I aren't doing our own vows, just repeating. We felt it was too much for us. I don't think there is anything wrong with not doing personal vows.

We did the parrotting the officiant with traditional vows thing, then a few sentences of our own (which I straight up read) with the ring exchange.

I still don't think DH has read my 100-day journal with a letter in front of it (he brought it on our honeymoon and we're on the plane waiting to head home now :p). But the hours before the ceremony were somewhat hectic.

It's not a wedding without some form of vows.

My FH said same thing, I had to remember its is his day too. We are having a small ceremony, and he still would not budge. We told officiant we would not be doing our own vows and she has added some things to say.

We are not saying vows or repeating after the officiant. The officiant is saying i do you blah take blah to blah blah and we are simply saying "i do." My fh is horrible public speaker the worst i ever seen. We went over the vows in counseling and discuss their meaning and said them out loud. Thats good enough for me. I don't need fh sweating and mumbling throughout the ceremony. It'll make it seem like he's scared or nervous to commit/ get married and that's not at all it he just sucks at talking in front of groups.

We read each others personal vows for our videographer before the ceremony so he caught our raw emotion reading them privately. Then we did the traditional vows during the ceremony

DH and I exchanged letters the morning-of, and they kind of had our "personalized" vows. During the ceremony, we said the traditional vows (I OVC, take you DH...).

Weddings are stressful enough, save the personal vows for a letter or a private conversation if he's not comfortable. We were both way too shy to say any personal vows and we just did the standard repeat after the officiant....our ceremony was 8 minutes and my husband told me it felt like an hour (it flew by for me up there), so try and limit his anxiety as much as you can on your special day!!