fh doesn’t seem interested in planning?!

View Quoted Comment I also gave my husband options as well. I would send him links to things I picked and let him choose from those which one he liked. For music, I picked several songs I liked for each activity then he selected from that list the song we would use. I found it very helpful to do this.

I think that is normal. I've done most of the planning so far. The only thing my FH has been in charge of is getting the DJ and finding a photographer for our engagement photos. I ask him does he like certain things and he tells me yes or no but overall I've been the main planner.

FH helped a ton picking out music for the reception, choosing food, a bit of seating chart help, and offering some opinions on the rehearsal dinner. He gave a few opinions on attire. I've planned all the rest, with help from my mom, sister (MOH), and FMIL. He planned a perfect engagement and our honeymoon though, so I'm not too annoyed. Though I did find out yesterday that I spelled two of his friends' last names wrong on both the save the dates and invitations, and he never said anything until we were working on the seating chart. So embarrassing.

Maybe see what he's interested in most about the wedding and let him have that. My husband was insistent on a boba bar and I was like ok then you figure that part out aha

Are you upset because you feel overwhelmed or just disappointed that he isn't interested? I'm getting married the weekend after you and have been planning for the past few months. My FH is also not really interested but that didn't strike me as a surprise. He's been relatively supportive in my decisions and the things that I know matter to him, I've asked opinions on. For instance, I'm known to have questionable taste in music so he was responsible for finding all the songs for garter toss, cake cutting, etc. When it comes down to the photographer, place setting, and colors, most men do not care. They just want their bride to be happy. If you're overwhelmed and feel like you need help, I would have a discussion with him and just let him know that you could really use his input. Give him a few tasks to tackle and take off your plate... but remember you can't complain with his choices then. If you just feel like he SHOULD be interested and isn't, I wouldn't take it personally. A ton of men don't care that much. Let me know if you need any help or advice. This community has been an asset in my planning!

Most guys don’t care about the planning. I think I’m the minority since FH is the one that wants a huge wedding so he has to have his opinions lol. When it comes to food, dj and bar- he cares. But as far as floral arrangements and small details? He couldn’t care less.

One thing that I've found really helps is that I will do the research and narrow it down to 2 or 3 options and give him a choice of those. For instance, I picked out our top 5 venues and contacted all of them. 4 responded, 2 of whom were already booked for our date. We toured both of the available ones and signed the contract the next week for the one we chose. I did the leg work and then had him help me make the final decision between 2.

Asking for opinions from a small list is significantly easier for them to wrap their minds around than simply saying "hey, we need to do x." My FH is often too tired after work and we are typically very busy.

For each vendor, he was given a choice of 2 or 3. I gave him the details and we talked about it together but always started from a small list.

He comes with me when I ask but I make the appointments and once in the appointments (such as tasting, especially), he tends to come alive as the vendors know what to ask. I didnt expect he'd be so clear as to what he wanted in the cake but there we were. luckily we were thinking the same things.

Wedding planning is stressful for us, but it really does need to be one person doing most of the contacting vendors just so that they have a consistent point of contact. So ask for a round about budget and do the initial legwork. asking for opinions on a small number of options might get you far.

The males tend to not want to help. What I did is I told him I needed his input about like 5-8 things mandatory. The others I will pass by him, he can have an opinion or not. Didn’t love when he said he didn’t have an opinion ALL the time!! So I said if he doesn’t have an opinion, I will narrow it too like 2 or 3 and he gives me an option on that. Some things I decide on my own but I ask if he wants a say.
some things I told him he HAD to have an opinion on is things like cake, venue, date, food. Also I told him I will take all the meeting but the meetings has has to do with me we’re the photographers, videographers, and DJs since you need to be comfortable with them. Happy planning just try to give him space. Guys don’t love planning things like weddings.

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This. Mine will give me an opinion if I ask for it, but for the most part he is just ready to be married and cares about the music, food, and alcohol. The little things he knows is my thing and if I am happy he is happy

Fortunately my FH has been willing to participate, although I can tell it's not his favorite thing in the world. The best way for me has been to sort of schedule days/times where we will sit together and plan, then I can do some of the legwork on my own since I enjoy it. For example, I spent a TON of time looking at venues and then narrowed it down to about 10 I liked. I told him we should sit for an hour and go through them together, and then he was willing to do so and help me narrow it down to the ones we ended up touring.

Reality check... most of them aren’t interested lol. You will have to do the majority of the research and narrow down the vendors to like 3 and then go to him to help you decide on one. Good luck! My hubby showed up to our first and second venue tours. We chose the second so it was a short process but one where we are spending the most money. Also, I made him go with me to meet with certain vendors for safety reasons. I’ve booked everything else myself. He shows the most interest when it comes to his side if guest list and the good tastings coming up lol. Go figure

There are guys that don’t really want any say in the planning and they just want to show up. If you need help ask your mom and his mom or your bridal party to help you. Maybe after the ball is running he’ll get excited with the planning and pitch in.

Most guys aren't interested. My fiance says I can plan the wedding of my dreams bc the wedding is for me, but the wedding night is for him lol I'd just find stuff you like and narrow down your options, then give him a choice. It works for me

My fiance's only request was he and his groomsmen have to wear kilts and there must be good beer. We only saw one venue and knew it was the one (I saw hundreds of others online). We only met with one photographer and knew he was the one (again, lots of prior research). Just try to narrow down what you want before dragging him in. It also helps of you ask questions casually instead of trying to sit down and have him plan with you every step of the way.

Some guys just aren't into this kind of thing.

My recommendation (thinking about my own ol' man here and what I would do with him) - find a time when you know he won't be overburden with work or school...crack open a beer for him and a snack, and sit down at the kitchen table for 1-hour.

Have your thoughts planned out and ready to go, don't make this a regular thing, but only bring to the table items you really need/want his input on and make it easy on him, provide choices, and prices.

Good luck!