We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

M
Beginner July 2010

Female ushers?Or other use for friend not in wedding?

mtbny, on September 24, 2009 at 1:45 PM Posted in Planning 0 18
Saved Save
Reply

I'm assuming we need an usher or two at our wedding to cut down on the chaos. We're starting to run low on other younger guys who aren't in the bridal party. I do have one female friend who would have been a bridesmaid had I had another one. Can a female be an usher? My finance thinks this is strange and I've never seen it before. Has anyone? Or is there another good use for my female friend so she feels included?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Mother, on July 4, 2010 at 12:42 AM
  • Konichiwa
    Master January 2010
    Konichiwa ·
    • Flag

    Traditionally I think usually men are ushers but in this day and age, who goes with tradition any more! But if you want your friend to feel included you can maybe have her do a reading of a poem or scripture (if you are religious) during the ceremony as a way to include her. Or if she's organized and trustworthy have her as your Day Of coordinator. Let her make sure your day goes as planned and has all the phone #'s of the vendors to make sure they are where they need to be.

    • Reply
  • Shell
    Master June 2009
    Shell ·
    • Flag

    Guest book is usually the job given to girls that are not in the wedding. i know its a lame job but i wouldnt have a girl as an usher

    • Reply
  • B
    Expert July 2010
    Bri8785 ·
    • Flag

    I have seen this once before, but you could maybe use her as your personal attendant instead?

    • Reply
  • yadayada
    Master October 2009
    yadayada ·
    • Flag

    Well, I'm having my brother's gf and my sister's bf be the ushers, and maybe my younger female cousin... had never heard that women couldn't be ushers. To be honest I just asked them cause they'll just be hanging around while the family takes pictures and it gives them something useful to do... :-)

    • Reply
  • MEG
    VIP June 2010
    MEG ·
    • Flag

    I would ignore traditional and ask her if that what you want. The question is does she want to be an usher. Since it is typically a male role, she my feel uncomfortable.

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner July 2010
    mtbny ·
    • Flag

    Thanks. What does a personal attendant do? How is this different from a maid of honor?

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated July 2010
    LoveShown414 ·
    • Flag

    I am not having my fiance's sister as a bridesmaid so my FMIL suggested using her as an usher. I think this is perfectly fine and who is really going to care and say "oh my gosh, they have a GIRL as an usher!"?! Go for it! It'll make your friend feel like a part of your big day Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Stephanie Hickerty
    Stephanie Hickerty ·
    • Flag

    Your groomsmen should be the ushers. If you're low, then there's no reason why you can't have some female ushers as well. If you're lookinf for a special task for your girlfriend, here's a suggestion....you could have her be your photography helper. For example, when it's time to take the traditional family photos, she's the one that rounds everyone up for the photos...sometimes a very necessary thing since they sometimes tend to scatter. She could also help with your dress & veil placement for photos...most photographers will do it, but it would give her something "special" to do. I would make sure to get a special photo of just the two of you regardless of what position you give her in your wedding....it would make her feel appreciated. Don't forget that if you give her a task, a little token of thank you would be very nice. Good Luck to you!

    • Reply
  • 0
    Super May 2010
    05.01.2010 ·
    • Flag

    I have never seen a female usher before. So would you have her escort the man to their seat and have the woman follow behind? Your friend could pass out the programs and greet people as the arrive. For those people who are not avid wedding goers she could tell them which side belongs to the bride and which side belongs to the groom. But that would only be needed if you have no ushers and people seat themselves.

    • Reply
  • D&N
    Super July 2010
    D&N ·
    • Flag

    I have too many girlfriends... this is what I am having them do. 1 Guest Book, 2 Program/Attendants to guests, 1 video tape, 1 hair & Make-up (She is a professional, so... this might be outta the question! HAHA!) 2 verse readers, 1 Personal Attendant to Sorority Sisters.

    Use them where you want them! I might have to move one to Usher cause the FH best man is a dud and will probably not show for the wedding!

    • Reply
  • yadayada
    Master October 2009
    yadayada ·
    • Flag

    @ Jamie J. - why wouldn't she just escort the couple together, like have the couple follow her to their seats? I guess I haven't been to that many formal weddings, but is the usher supposed to take the arm of the woman that he is "ushing"?

    Anyway, our ushers are just going to be greeting people and giving them programs, nothing too crazy or gender-specific. It's pretty obvious where the seats are, so I think our guests can just seat themselves :-)

    • Reply
  • 0
    Super May 2010
    05.01.2010 ·
    • Flag

    Yadayada...haha one year my FH and I went to 12 weddings!! I have been to so many weddings my head spins. At the more traditional weddings the male ushers will ask whether they are here for the bride or the groom. And then he will offer his arm to the woman and take her to her seat and her husband (or date) will follow. I have also seen what you are talking about. Whoever hands out the programs will tell the guests which side is for the groom and which side is for the bride and they can seat themselves. In that case it wouldn't matter if the "usher" is male or female.

    • Reply
  • Melissa & Dan
    Dedicated February 2010
    Melissa & Dan ·
    • Flag

    I don't see anything wrong with having a girl walk as an usher... I was in my friend's wedding this past July... Him and his wife picked mostly girls and only 2 guys... In order to even it out, they had HER friends and family wear purple gowns and walk as BRIDESMAIDS... Then they had HIS friends and family wear black gowns and walks as GROOMSWOMEN... Even though that's not exactly my style, I thought it was a pretty cool idea! So I would say just follow your heart and do whatever it desires!

    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2010
    soon to be... ·
    • Flag

    I have been to a million weddings and have seen both male and female ushers. You can easily have the female ushers hand out programs nad greet people, and then have the males escort people to their seats. I've seen in done that way at some very fancy and traditional weddings (black tie and more than $200 per plate). There's no reason not to!!

    • Reply
  • yadayada
    Master October 2009
    yadayada ·
    • Flag

    Interesting. I guess I was picturing more like how they do it when you go to the theater, where nobody takes anyone's arm, the usher just shows the couple the seat. Honestly I'd feel weird taking some random groomsman's arm esp. if my FH was there!!!

    PS - 12 weddings, wow! And I thought I had it bad with 3 weddings this summer (and my own coming up!)

    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2010
    soon to be... ·
    • Flag

    One more thought: having someone at the reception place to direct people to the room where the reception is and show them where cocktails are might be helpful and a good way to use your more outgoing female friends. My wedding coordinator suggested this, as it makes them feel helpful and is helpful to your guests! (our cocktail hour is outside of the ballroom so we want to make sure people don't take a wrong turn and end up wondering where the food/booze is!). I've also seen having these "helpers" sit at the head table as a token of appreciation if you are into that!

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner July 2010
    mtbny ·
    • Flag

    Thanks, everyone. I don't think we're going to have programs. This is pretty low key in a garden.

    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes July 2010
    Mother ·
    • Flag

    What do you call male helpers on the program? I was going to list as House Party, but I everything I have read says the House Party are females. We have two that will be doing various duties.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics