Female at a bachelor party

I told FH I didn't care who went, as long as a specific girl did not. I didn't care what strip clubs they went to. I didn't care about any of it, as long as a specific girl didn't go.

But, this girl has serious issues with having sex with people in relationships when they are so drunk they don't know their names. She has tried multiple times to make out with him (when he is this drunk) since we got together. He knows that she is a hard no for me and he respects that.

If she is a hard no (because of issues), then I would say no. If you just don't want her there because she is a girl, you're overreacting.

My FH has a couple of girls he's super close to who I don't know well. I'd be fine with them being at these events but would be pissed if there was a double standard.

I do agree that the double standards is bullshit. If guys aren't allowed at yours, then girls shouldn't be allowed at his. That is ridiculous

@Bo Leigh. Girl pause...what the fuck did I just read...

If he's gonna invite his 'sister' then you shouldn't ask his permission to invite your guy friend to your bachelorette. You guys need to work that out. Call him out on his double standard.

You have about a year to get to know her!

Well that double standard he has is ridiculous. If he can invite a woman to his bach party, then you can invite a dude to yours. I would not be ok with his shitty attitude.

Bo Leigh's comment made me really sad. That's fucked up.

I have had some time to think about why I am upset.

I don't think I have serious trust issues, he is actually flying out to visit with T and her fiancé in a couple of weeks without me and will be staying at their condo. I have no problem with that.

I think I am upset about his double standard. I just focused on her being at his bachelor party as my argument that I lost track of what I was actually upset about.

I'm with Olivia P. If he wants her to go then gone head. If you trust him then it shouldn't even matter.

Besides MOST not ALL men have that complex issue. They think it's ok to hang out with their girl friends but as soon as you want to hang out with your guy friends it's an issue. Smh. Shouldn't be that way but sadly it is sometimes. ETA: I have 4 older brothers and I have seen it all.

Just relax. Breathe?.

OP I'm glad you figured out your issue. Sounds like you'll now be able to talk to your FH about it!

Yeah the double standard isn't okay. I'd talk to him about that.

A lot of people consider their best friends to be s brother or sister. I do find it strange that you've only met her a couple times. I think the all men all woman parties are a little outdated. Most of my friends are guys and I'm kind of bummed that my party is only woman. Maybe you need to make some plans to feel more comfortable with their friendship. Maybe it's because you don't know her.

I personally think it's a little outdated to think single sex. If you are about to get married, I imagine you love and trust each other, there shouldn't be anything to worry about

His double standards are not cool! I would have a serious issue with that.

I know. I would rather we didn't associate with her at all. Period. I keep any eye out for all of them when she is around.

However, she is the fiance of my FH's best friend. They see nothing wrong with it and that she is having fun.

The girl has way more issues and drama than just that. Way more.

I trust my FH 100%, but I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

Now I wouldn't care too much if my FI decides to ask his female friend to attend his bachelor party.... But that rule would have to apply to me too. The double standard would be a major problem for me. He needs to fix his own insecurities.

@Bo Leigh...she has a fiance. Dafuq. They keep associating with her for some reason... I would be a little more concerned with why my FH would want to have someone like that around.

@TreeShade He prefers when she isn't around. Living 700 miles away, he hangs out with his buddy when he can.

I think it's odd that he considers her such a good friend but that you've only met her 3 times.

The double standard is not ok.