Feeling sad

I definitely get what you're feeling...my family's involved, but mostly to tell me what they think I'm doing wrong and like you, it just stresses me out and makes me sad. My bridesmaids are scattered around and outside of the country and they've been great emotional support but it woulda been nice to have them actually here. I love weddingwire for being able to relate to others going through the same thing, vent, obsess about wedding stuff...whatever. It's been a great space for me. I feel your pain though, hang in there!

We're in the same boat. Your wedding is also right around the corner so I'm surprised everyone isn't trying to help out. I have the same issue with my MOH. She has no interest but mine is still far away.Hang in there, it will get better and when the day comes it will all be worth it!

Yes-- have been there! For me, it was like suddenly I had to be the middleman for every single interaction family members had with each other "oh-- where is so and so staying? when is so and so getting there? Maybe we can plan something with so and so?" These are grown people who have never had an issue communicating directly with each other, so I don't know where this came from, and of course, I was trying to help them all while getting everything else done with zero help. On top of that, no one thought to throw me a shower. I didn't really WANT one, but when my sister had her baby, everyone was fighting to be the one to throw a shower. It just hurt my feelings that everyone wanted to go out of their way for my sister, but not for me.

Once we were actually there and it was like the day before/day of, everyone was a lot more helpful and considerate (my nieces and SIL helped me package my favors the morning of-- it was a HUGE appreciated help), and I felt a little guilty for being so mad at everyone.

So what kinds of things are they asking for you to provide? All of my family and a good portion of my husband's family is out of town. They were asking how they could get around, what places are good to eat, information on the hotel, etc. That's not a big deal since everyone from out of town will be wondering that. What's making you upset?

Hey date twin. I am with you. I have been a bit down for a while. with other things going on and not being around my family I feel you. I think it will get better once you are closer to the date and you have no time to think about being sad

Janeen-- haven't you heard of the saying "call anyone but the bride"? Your relatives could have easily googled any of that information, and in fact, if a bride posted any of those questions on the forums, 9 responses out of 10 would be LMGTFY.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/call-anyone-but-the-bride-rant/6b23da2e41a2fb0d.html

I'm sorry you are sad and stressed. Honestly, when I was planning my own wedding the only time anyone was really involved was when I specifically asked them to be (basically to go dress shopping which was my mom, my sister/MOH, my nephew and MIL and as DH didn't care to attend the cake tasting my mom, sister/MOH and nephew came and helped me chose the cake flavors). I found I was happier when I realized that no one else cared about the wedding as much as I did and no one else really had much to offer in the way of assistance. Knowing I was on my own was actually freeing because I wasn't waiting on anyone (and knew that if anything didn't get done it was on me). My in-laws offered to help near the end but by then everything was in place (except that when we picked up my wedding gown we stored it at FIL's house as he has way more closet space than we do. He brought the dress to the venue/hotel the day of the wedding but that was probably the most anyone else helped with the wedding.)

I'm sorry you are so stressed Veronica. Maybe you need to take a day off from wedding planning and relax. I know that was super helpful for me. As for your family, what are they asking you? Can you have some responses ready to go, so you don't have to deal with them? For example, if they ask about hotels: "We have a room block at BlahBlah Hotel", or just "oh, this OneHotel is really nice". And then change the subject. Same with any other questions. I'd give them the shortest possible answer and change the subject, so they stop asking.

OP I am sorry you are sad. I am getting married the day after you and am sad too. My mom died when I was young so I haven't had her with me through this whole process and my father wants nothing to do with the wedding and to top it off my sister has disowned me because my fiance and I decided to have a big beautiful wedding (which we are paying for). I am working hard every day to focus on all the positive love and joy that is truly there and so thankful for the deepest truth in all of this: that I have found my besheret (soul mate) and we are embarking on creating our own family. That knowledge is going to carry me through and I hope it helps to carry you through. From now on, you have your own family and it is going to start in joy - so enjoy it~!

Thank you all so much for your kind words of support and great suggestions! I really need to hear them. I just have to try & focus on the positive aspects and let go of things that are out of my control. Thank you again!