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Onya
Expert October 2020

Feeling Overwhelmed.

Onya, on February 25, 2020 at 1:59 PM Posted in Planning 2 64
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My wallet wants me to elope.
My heart wants me to have a wedding.

If you’re already married which did you do?
🤦🏽‍♀️ Having all these “I️ Wish” moments. I️ wish I️ had Money to do this and that. I wish such and such could help with this. I️ wish My job wasn’t such a circus. All you soon to be brides with amazing jobs and families supporting you don’t know how lucky you are. And maybe you do.
Just in my feeling y’all. 😣

64 Comments

Latest activity by Christina, on February 29, 2020 at 7:03 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    My wallet wanted to elope too aha when I got married we spent $16k and that just was like my god I could have bought a brand new car with that! But in the end I am happy I had a wedding. In hindsight though I think it would have been nicer if I had a smaller wedding so I could interact with people more.
    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    And here I am stressing about spending 6k. Photography and food is looking like the most expensive investment.

    • Reply
  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    Our first wedding we eloped and i regret that that's why we are doing it all over again as our vow renewal bc my heart always wanted a wedding...so now im doing it. I feel like..if you want a wedding do it bc whether you eloped or not you gon eventually want to satisfy your wants of having your dream wedding.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it’s fine to stress about that amount because I think even if I spent less I’d still be peeved aha. But I realized to have what I want and what I’m comfortable with spending to get that, needed a certain number.


    For photography maybe look into people who are looking to expand their portfolio so they’re either free or heavily discounted
    • Reply
  • Chantal
    Expert May 2021
    Chantal ·
    • Flag

    I TOTALLY feel this. Looking at all the investments we could make with our money.... it's crazy. But my parents eloped and they regretted it so instantly that they planned and had a wedding six months later. Sometimes we forget that money doesn't always have to be frugally spent. As hard as budgeting for a huge event is, I definitely think, looking back, it'll all be worth it.

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  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    Wow, that's real. We just have to make it work. I've been applying for new jobs as well. Trying anything to make this a reality.

    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    I fell in love with this photographer though. They need to break my heart at this point. LMAO. I'm willing to sacrifice so much to have them.

    • Reply
  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Yes bc i didnt have a good job then and he was just starting in his career i just graduated college so the money was not adding up so we did city hall and ran away. Everyday i regretted it. . .im so happy im doing this over our dream wedding well lol ill say good enough to fulfill what we always wanted as being a married couple
    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    That's exactly what I'd want to do. I'm just overwhelmed doing everything by myself. All the planning and messaging people. I don't want to regret eloping either. I need money to fall out of the skyyyyyyyyy LOL.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    Our wedding was much more expensive than I thought. But now it’s all over and I am back where I want to be financially and I don’t regret it.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it also comes down to what aspects of the wedding you want to prioritize more money into. For me I wanted the food to be good so most of the money went towards that.


    I feel like I would have regretted not having a wedding but I also don’t think weddings need to be over the top. As long as you get to celebrate your union with friends and family, that’s the main point.
    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    How was the wallet recovery? lol. Did you save on top of wedding expenses or did you start to get back on your feet after the wedding? Did any of the cash gifts help at all?

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated October 2020
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    Oh honey, I feel you. I know a lot of people on wedding wire talk about budgets and working within your means, but I don’t see too many posts on the stress related to saving and spending money.


    Neither of our parents are in a position to financially assist us so we are doing it ourselves. I took up a second job and work weekends but I gotta admit, it takes a lot out of me and I find myself just worn out. Please know you’re not alone and it’s okay to vent and ‘wish’...it’s part of the process.
    You will find a way, even if that means being frugal in some areas, you will get through it! Sending lots of love!
    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    Ours wouldn't be over the top in any way. Food and Photography is my most expensive investment. I want to be able to look back on these photos and videos and feel like I'm there. That's the kind of work that company puts out. To me it's more than worth it.

    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    Thank you so much Christine! We are in the same position and I have been applying for new jobs and/or an addition to my already 9-5 and forfeit my weekends to work. I've worked 2 jobs before to save for a place and I was so exhausted I know exactly how you feel. To think that I may put myself in that position again is what I'm least looking forward to.

    • Reply
  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
    • Flag
    If you really want a full wedding, you should have one! Everyone should aim for their dream day.


    I eloped. We got our dream date (just 4 months after getting engaged) and we didn’t even have to save. We probably spent about $5-6k. But eloping is how I genuinely wanted my day. It wasn’t based on finances. Now we’ll save for our reception/anniversary party and we have a whole year to save/plan.
    • Reply
  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag

    My wallet wanted to elope as well. So I did what I call an in-between wedding. We had a nice ceremony in a free space (at our church but we had the option of doing it in a rose garden in a public park as well). Then we took everyone out to eat at a nice restaurant. There were about 28 people in attendance. You can have something nice without breaking the bank. Focus on a few things that are important to you and do it well. For us it was faith, family and food Smiley smile We spent $1,500 total including rings and a staycation type honeymoon. We basically cut out everything that wasn't a necessity and let the venues we chose speak for themselves. Went very minimal and it worked out really well.

    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    Our wedding isn't until April of 2021. A little over a year. But I'm STRESSED. Because our dream date is so popular lots of places are getting booked up. Aiming for a dream is tricky when you are stressed financially.

    Also, $5-6k for eloping?! Girl that's the price I'm stressing about for our actual WEDDING! lmao. If we eloped we'd be spending about $600 bucks. WOOoo. lol.

    • Reply
  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That sounds so beautiful and intimate. Our venue (we pray we get approved) speaks for itself. Only the tables and chairs would need to be decorated honestly.

    • Reply
  • V
    Dedicated August 2020
    Valerie ·
    • Flag
    You can have a wedding. You just have to put in the effort to make your wish come true. Get a second job or find a side hustle to earn some money. Make a budget. Give up certain daily luxuries to save money. Skip on nail appointments and Starbucks, etc. set realistic expectations.
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