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Beginner May 2021

Feeling Discouraged

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Taylor, on January 29, 2020 at 3:53 PM

Posted in Planning 28

Hi All! I have only been engaged for a month and I am already ready to throw in the towel on having a wedding. We have not booked anything just started looking for venues and vendors to get ideas on the amount of money we will have going in to this. From the first week of my engagement, my Dad and Step mom made it clear that they do not want to help with my wedding and would prefer us do separate weddings so they don't have to see my mom (my parents have been divorced for 20+ years and my dad still can't grow up and be near my mother). I have been working with my mom on everything and she has been amazing with helping me with everything she possibly can. I am trying to keep things cordial and invite my dad and step mom to be apart of planning everything but they are snarky and rude every time I say my mom will be there as well, and then they just don't respond and ignore me instead of being apart of anything. I don't know if I am just being selfish about it or over dramatic but it's only the first month of this and it's already hell. What are some suggestions you all might have on dealing with parents or just eloping and doing a party?

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28 Comments

Super October 2021
Suzie · on January 29, 2020 at 7:34 PM
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Sounds like a good plan! If they decline, then that’s on them. Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this!
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Devoted July 2021
Gwendolyn · on January 29, 2020 at 7:53 PM
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I feel your pain on this one!! I went the route of not inviting the drama source and instead we will have a nice get together with them separately the next time in town. From your previous posts it sounds like you aren't super close to them so I would definitely put the ball in their court if you want them there - if they want to suck it up they can, or they can miss their daughters wedding.
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Beginner May 2021
Taylor · on January 29, 2020 at 8:17 PM
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That’s what I’m thinking I’m going to do. Don’t need to add more stress to a wedding! Thanks Gwendolyn!
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on January 29, 2020 at 8:31 PM
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Do you want a wedding? If so, have a wedding. Your dad and step mom can get on board or they can get out of the way. It sounds like your mom is willing to help you, I think itd be a little hurtful to her if you decided not to have a wedding because your step mom and dad won't help.
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Beginner May 2021
Taylor · on January 29, 2020 at 8:34 PM
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Thank you Mandi! I will! My mom is amazing and I know she will help me make it an amazing day!
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Beginner July 2022
Katie · on January 29, 2020 at 8:45 PM
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First of all I am so sorry that your Dad is asking for 2 separate weddings. I don't know your full situation but right away I feel like that is very unfair to ask of you and your fiancé on YOUR wedding day. It should not be this stressful in the first month. I'm glad your mom has been helping you. I know it's easier said than done but remember this is your wedding day and a day that you will remember for your life and it should be just how you want it. Family is important but they need to be respectful of you too. I hope things work out and you and your family can have a happy day that celebrates the love you and your fiancé have.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 30, 2020 at 12:25 AM
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This. 💯 percent!
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on January 30, 2020 at 1:38 PM
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Your father and step mother are being over dramatic, not you! I personally wouldn't involve them in the planning process until they can act like adults. They are sabotaging a happy time in your life by being immature and petty, so you should plan things with your mom since she is being supportive! Good luck to you!
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