Feeling discouraged. i feel like other people are more into my wedding than i am...

I'm sorry you do things on your own time, take a week away from wedding planning go on date night with df

I was never the type to dream about my wedding growing up, but when I met the one I did start to think about it a lot more and have been surprisingly more into wedding planning than I thought I'd be. Still, I am extremely low maintence and all the little things that other women might get really into, I don't see the importance of. I think it is actually normal to be excited for the day and the marriage but not about planning every trivial detail. I don't think you should feel bad that you're not obsessed and consumed by wedding planning. Try to space out the big things to keep wedding planning exciting and interesting without having to feel like it's your whole life.

You aren’t the only one by a long shot. They do call it a wedding industry for a reason. A lot of the stuff people talk about and stress over is SO not what the day is actually about. I felt exactly the same—I ended up scaling back and I got excited again after some time passing. Taking a break is good. Also, if you have the major stuff down (officiant, venue, guest list...you define what the important things are), you’re good. The rest is gravy.

I am the same way. I never ever thought about my wedding growing up. Just now in the beginning of the planning process. We are thinking June 2019 but we both have a serious lack of motivation. We have talked about eloping more then once but somehow we always get brought back to the whole big wedding thing. I think for us part of our issue is we would rather save our money for a house etc. then spend so much money on one day.

I never had a single thought about a wedding until I became engaged. I was happy that I was going to be married, but that over excited, gushing over everything wedding, wasn't me. I wasn't excited, or nervous. I frankly didn't care. My husband had to do a lot of the small details because I didn't care to. Nerves didn't hit until minutes before my ceremony. My bosses were more excited for my wedding than I was.

This isn't something you should stress over. The most important part is that you marry the love of your life. Everything else is for you and your FH to enjoy the day off. So don't stress the little stuff, it doesn't matter anyway. If it's causing that much stress maybe talk about getting a wedding planner or asking your mom to help with the planning as it sounds she might want to be helping more anyway. Just remember it's your day and you can cry if you need to, cause this planning stuff is stressful lol

This is exactly how I feel. I might even go so far as to say I hate wedding planning. I wanted to elope but my FH wanted immediate family there. I have no advice for you, just know that I’m right there with ya.

I felt the same way pretty much from beginning to end. I hated wedding planning. It caused me a lot of stress and I did get physically sick. In the end, my wedding day turned out great (sure a few things went wrong but everyone had a good time). Try not to compare your planning timeline to others. It will really stress you more. Try to take some time out for yourself and once your wedding day comes and goes all the pressure will be gone.

Don't let other people's timelines stress you out! We were engaged for over 3 years before we started planning. Everyone stressed over our 'lack of motivation' except us. Everyone is different. And the end goal is the marriage not the wedding day - relax & take a little break. Minor details can be worked out later!

Nope I'm the exact same way. I don't enjoy talking about the wedding with anyone anymore because I get so much slack for the choices we've made while planning OUR wedding. We have 8 months to go and we're ready to call it quits and elope. We joke daily about cancelling because it just doesn't sound fun anymore but of course we will go through with it and survive the day.

View Quoted Comment I second this!

Take a break in planning if you need to. Keep things in perspective. You are marrying the love of your life. The rest of it is just little details. Plan the wedding that YOU two want (as long as it’s properly hosted with food and alcholol).

We had had two major health issues with two of our VIPs leading up to our wedding. There wasn’t time to stress over little details or even include things that weren’t important to us. Figure out what is important you. Focus on those things. Most importantly take a break if you are feeling so stressed that it’s affecting you physically.

The stress of planning can suck the fun out of it. Would it be possible for you to hand off the planning to a wedding planner?

If planning a wedding is stressing you out to the point of having physical symptoms you should just elope. A party isn't worth your health.

If it makes you feel any better, I never imagined my wedding until we got engaged. We had a pretty good sized wedding and we spent a healthy amount of money but it definitely wasn’t something I was obsessed over, as I’ve seen multiple friends be throw themselves in overtime. We had a short engagement (six month). We booked the first venue we toured, the first photographer we talked to, the first florist, the first hair and makeup artist, etc. I never even saw a mock-up of our flowers until the day of the wedding. I didn’t want to, she knew what my colors were. I bought the second dress I tried on. And that was the general flow of our engagement. Our venue took care of most the other decorations so we didn’t do any additional details. The only things we did on our own were a seating chart and name cards because it cost us $40 vs $550.

Meanwhile, my boss’ daughter was in the beginning of her 18 month and eeeeevery day, she wanted to talk about DIY projects and decorations and details details and I hated it. It was fun planning because it was stress free because we had a mostly all inclusive venue.

Point is, you’re not alone. Not every bride loves planning and talking about it. Don’t worry about anyone else or compare yourself to anyone else’s timelines. You’ll go crazy!

View Quoted Comment This sounds so familiar to me! Everyone talks about how much effort it is, that I almost felt guilty because i pretty much looked at one venue (though I did look online at others), talked to two photographers, and went to one real dress appointment and didn’t really flinch at making decisions. Now, for some reason it’s at this point when the big stuff is taken care of that I’m sort of stressing...so I have to remind myself it’s not that important!

I hate to hear that you feel discouraged. From reading what you have already completed, I think you are discouraged because you've been dealing with kind of the "have to" stuff. The fun stuff (for me) is color schemes, decorations, jewelry and dresses, and invitation designs! Things like vendor picking, budgeting, guest listing, and scheduling can be a bore and wear me out. Some people just aren't super detail oriented though and that's ok! If you are struggling getting into it, or worried about being behind, when people ask you about these details, ask for suggestions or help!

Also, try not to stalk all your friends or worry about how far they are in planning. Trying to compare yourself or stressing about being "behind" wont help. Its not a race. Everyone plans at their own pace, and some people are just more eager to do it than others.

I hope I was able to help and I hope that you find encouragement and friends here on WW

My youngest daughter has never considered having a wedding. She never dreamed of it and honestly is an indecisive bride. It drives me crazy as she wants me to help and being that I have done this 2 other times, I know what decisions need to be made. Is there someone close to you that you trust that can help you? Perhaps your mother? I ask this as I am helping her and in order to move this process forward I have found that I find things on Pintrest, post them, she reviews them and we go from there. This has worked great so far as they have chosen their cake, flowers, venue...I have also contacted the vendors, set up appts, tell them when and where we need to go and then they make the decision as to the vendor. Im there to take notes and ask any questions I can think of that they haven't thought of. I also research prices, coupons, compare deals etc. I understand that planing is not only time consuming but its stressful have to balance a budget while picking individual things out. It also doesn't help that you can't see everything together. My daughter can't visualize everything together so she looks to me as I can and she asks do I think it will go. See if someone close to you can help you. If you can't find someone perhaps hiring a planner will help as she can do some of the tasks and provide you with options. I wish you luck !