Father's spouse

Not awful! not even a little bit.

(if they are both contributing financially, i would definitely consider including her in at least a reception intro if you are doing that. but if she isn't and your dad is okay with it, do what you want!)

I am not close at all with my father's wife, though we have met a few times and she's not nearly as bad as your father's GF sounds! It sounds like your father is understanding, and as long as he is, then I think you're okay. She's a guest, and because she has no real relationship to you, I don't think she needs to be anything more. I know other people might disagree with me, but this is just how I see it.

FWIW, I think I will have my father walk with his wife down the aisle at my wedding (he is not giving me away). I'm not announcing my dad at the reception, so that's not an issue for me. I'm also not inviting my father's wife's children (technically my step-sisters and step-brother). Every family is different and you have to do what feels right for you.

Eh, this is a real tough one....I don't particularly like my step dad however I am still having him introduced because him and my mom have been together for a long time & they are married.

I mean, its not awful to say shes there as a guest but im guessing since you guys aren't close, at all then she wouldn't expect anything more then to BE a guest right?? Because if she hates you as much as you dislike her then I would think she wouldn't care about having a major role...but if she feels differently about you, then you do her then it could cause some hurt on her end.

Pesonally, I guess I would say if they are married, to introduce her. if not, then don't.

I think step parents should be a part of the wedding, as long as they have a relationship with the person/couple. That said, your situation is different & I don't think you're wrong in not having her participate. I would let her & a few close friends/family know, this way if she "decides" to get up & walk down the isle, there will be people there to make sure that doesn't happen.

Honor the memory of your mother & do not allow any one to interfere with that =D

I would have her sit next to your dad at the ceremony and reception, and that should be plenty in terms of "recognition." If you really think she'll do something obnoxious, get a trusted friend to keep an eye on her.

Thank you all so much for the fast responses! It is relief to know that I'm not a horrible daughter for keeping her as a guest. We are having dinner with them tomorrow and it's just exhausting to be around her. I wanted to be prepared in case the topic came , so I great appreicate it! She's not contriubing to anything. My dad has even mentioned that things are on the rocks, but I don't think he will leave her. He's a creature of habit and enjoys retirement.

I think that if you are not close to the woman your father is dating, there is no obligation to have her as more than a guest. Considering your relationship, it could even be seen as an insult to your mother's memory to let this woman you dislike take over your mother's role. Definitely stick to your gut. You absolutely know what's best for you and your wedding.

Well, we have a situation like this, but my Mom is still around. My Dad married his mistress a few years ago... so, this wedding has brought up some old rifts.

My dad/step mom are paying for 90% of the wedding, so I didn't think I'd have a choice about at least recognizing her as "one of the mothers." She will not be escorted down the aisle, but she will have a corsage. She will also probably be introduced at the reception as my Dad's wife/my step mom. My relationship with her is "okay," I don't mind her or anything, but I still am at the point where I don't want to get SO close and offend my Mom.

I'd have her sit with your Dad... wherever it is you want to put him. I don't think you should make a whole lot of special plans for her if they aren't particularly involved with the financing of the wedding. I would continue to honor your mother in whatever way you choose.

My dad remarried and his wife was visibly irritated that she was not treated as the mother of the groom at my brother's wedding (never mind that she had her turn to be mother of the groom less than a year later, and her son was already engaged by the time my brother's wedding rolled around). But she DEALT with it. I don't like her at all and I thought she behaved fine.

You must invite the girlfriend, but you're under no obligation to treat her as anything more than a guest, and you should definitely honor your mother in the way that you want to. She doesn't need to be escorted down the aisle, and since she is not a member of the wedding party, she would not be announced at the reception (I count members of the wedding party as people who walk down the aisle, including parents, grandparents, bridesmaids/men, groomsmen/women, flower girl, ring bearer, chuppah holders, etc).

For what it's worth, my mom's boyfriend of 7 years did not walk down the aisle with anyone at my brother's wedding and was not announced at the reception. It wasn't because my brother hated him, just that ... he was my mom's boyfriend, not our step-dad.