Father of the Bride Issues

And 2.) I know FMIL would love to dance with FH. She is an amazing woman and I completely adore her. I really want them to have a mother-son dance. However, is it rude for me to refuse to share a dance with my father and then have FH dance with his mom? Are these dances an all or nothing deal?

I second what @MissEtoMrsB said. I won't be dancing with my father at our wedding because he passed away, but I will be dancing with my brother. If he hadn't asked me to dance with him, I would have cut that dance out completely and just let FH and his mom have their moment. No one who knows you will think it's weird.

I say have your grandfather walk you down the aisle and then don't do the dance or dance with your Gpa ultimately it is up to you. So do what makes you feel comfortable.

Definitely don't "suck it up." Have your grandfather walk you down the aisle. And the dances are a "whatever you want" not an all or nothing. We actually only did one dance, I danced with my father while H danced with his daughter. He didn't do an official dance with his mother.

I agree with everything that's been said so far. Don't "suck it up." This is your wedding day! I think it's perfectly acceptable and appropriate for your grandfather to walk you down the aisle. I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship, but honestly, I think your father would be understanding of this and will just want you to be happy on your day!

Also, my FH does not want to dance with his mom. But I still want to have a dance with my dad. So, we're just doing the father/daughter dance. Like Angela said, your DJ/band should be able to work it out so that the transition is seamless and most people probably won't even notice!

You've already given your father something he probably never thought he'd get -- your forgiveness. When it comes to honoring the father figure who earned your abiding love and respect, that goes to your grandfather. You do this exactly the way you want to do it (and you don't owe anyone an explanation). In fact, if you'd like to dance with your grandfather during a spotlight dance, go for it.

Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. IMO that leads to regret. I did one thing that I wasn't comfortable with and it's my biggest wedding regret.

I think you should have your grandpa walk you down the aisle (if that's how you see it which it sounds like it is) and simply tell you dad that you don't want to hurt his feelings but you feel this is the right thing to do here.

I don't think they are an all or nothing.. that's one of my favorite things abotu weddings. That they can ltierally be anything you want to do if it feels right and resembles you as a couple. My mom passed away and my dad isn't in my life, so my sister will be giving me away and I am going to do a father daughter dance with my FFIL. Do what makes you happy!

It is YOUR wedding day! Don't do anything that you will regret later. Your grandpa seems to deserve that honor, and I can't imagine that your biological father would argue it. Do what YOU want and makes YOU happy and will give you the best wedding day you could ever imagine!!!

Thank you guys for the encouragement! It means a lot. I've been struggling since growing up I'd always assumed my grandpa would do it, but then the past couple years started to be on peaceful terms with my father. FH and his family have all been supporting me to go with my grandpa, but my mom has been making me feel guilty about causing hurt feelings or "unnecessary drama". So I needed to hear these responses to stop feeling like I was being selfish

Do what makes you happy!! As for dances, my father passed away so we didn't do a father/daughter dance, but DH did dance with his mom. There's no such thing as a norm for weddings anymore

I am not having the Father-Daughter dance. My step-father, who raised me is not even invited. I haven't seen or heard from my biological father in over 35 years. FH and FMIL are still having a dance. I wouldn't want to take that from them. I don't feel like I'll he missing anything, either. If it were me, I'd have my grandfather do it (if mine were still alive the only reason he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle is because he would be performing the ceremony). He is your father figure.

You don't actually need anyone to "give you away." And if you want to have someone, you could make it your mother. (Since she was your primary parent growing up, it would be hard for your father to argue with that.)

However, if you'd prefer to have your grandpa do it, go ahead. No one has the "right" to give you away, regardless of your relationship.

And you can have a mother-son dance even if you don't have a father-daughter dance.

My mom will be walking me down the aisle - I never knew my dad. I also really really want to skip the parent dance - I am absolutely not going to dance with the man my mom met when I was 22 and later married, and I'm pretty sure FH would rather die than have everyone watch him dance with his mom, but I don't know how to have that conversation with FMIL - he's the only son, after all. She's pretty cool, but I don't know how to address this with minimal awkwardness.

1. I think it is totally fair for you to have your grandfather walk you down the aisle and 2. You don't have to dance with him if you don't really want to do that. My father wasn't around for me on any type of constant basis when I was younger. I think he's a nice enough guy and I like him as a person, but he wasn't a reliable dad. My grandfather and one of my uncles were the two men I called my Superdad. Sadly, both of them have passed away now, so my younger brother will be walking me down the aisle and I have no intention of dancing with my father. Nor do I feel that I owe him an explanation about what I'm going to do. FH will dance with his mom, if they decide to do that and I don't mind!