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Just Said Yes May 2020

Father is dead, should i have a dance with my Step Father?

Emily, on August 13, 2019 at 12:37 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4
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Okay, so my biological dad died suddenly when I was 17. My parents had only been divorced a short time when this happened. The man my mom is married to now didn’t come into my life until I was already into my adult life (around 20) and I’m almost 25 now. However, I very much consider him my step dad and somewhat of a father figure even though he didn’t take part in raising me. I’m devastated that I won’t be able to dance with my dad at my wedding like I had always planned (I even had a song picked out way back when I was still a kid). I would like to have a dance with my stepdad though, I just don’t really know what song would be appropriate because a lot of songs that I have found are related to stepdads who came in when the real dad wasn’t around or along those lines, which isn’t the case for me. I also don’t know if dancing with my stepdad would upset my dads side of the family (since him and my mom were freshly divorced at the time of his death, I think there may be some hard feelings toward my mother). I know it’s my day and I need to do what makes me happy. I guess the main dilemma is that I don’t know what song would best fit my situation. Please help!!

4 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on August 14, 2019 at 7:49 AM
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    If you want to dance with your step-dad, you should be able to have that moment no matter what your dad's side feels. They should understand your situation and that your wishes have nothing to do with your parent's divorce. As for the song, it doesn't necessarily have to be some super sweet song about daughters and father figures. I don't have any recommendations but I think looking outside the norm here would help.

    When my brother got married he danced with our step-mom, our bio mom wasn't there but her parents were. Even though they were very Catholic until the end they thought it was a very sweet moment. There is no rule for this. I'm sure you can honor your dad and still find a way to share a special moment with someone important to you.

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  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
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    I think dancing with your stepfather is a wonderful idea. I imagine his side of the family will understand that you want to keep the tradition. As for a song, I recommend My Wish by Rascal Flatts. It doesn’t mention anything about parents, but just a general I want the best for you kind of vibe.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Having a dance with your stepfather would be incredibly sweet and touching!

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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Welcome to the WeddingWire community, Emily.

    I think it’s really sweet that you want to have a dance with your stepdad. I imagine it will mean a lot to him and to you too Smiley heart

    Here are some song suggestions I had for you which aren’t super focused on the father-daughter relationship which you may like -

    ‘What a Wonderful World’ - Louis Armstrong

    ‘You Are My Sunshine’ - Johnny Cash

    ‘Wildflowers’ - Tom petty

    ‘One Call Away’ - Charlie Puth

    ‘Landslide’ - Fleetwood Mac

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