"father" duties at wedding with Uncle instead of dad--

This is really tricky.

My opinion is:

1) if you decide not to do any father-daughter/uncle-daughter dance, no one will mind, and they may not even notice. This ritual isn't for your guests-- it is for the bride and her father/father figure, so if you want to skip it, no big deal, and your husband is still free to dance with his mom.

2) if you *want* to have the dance with your uncle, then I think you should. This may or may not be an issue for your father, depending on his personality. For some dad's, your decision may make them feel sad, but they'll ultimately support you and not cause a scene. For others, they may get down-right nasty and refuse to even come to the wedding, or insist you at least have two dances. My advice would be to talk to him beforehand, though, that way he isn't blind-sided at the actual wedding, and that way you won't have to deal with any untoward reaction the day of, either.

contd.

Contd.

If you're still not sure what to do, I suggest a compromise: set aside one dance for each of them. Not a huge ordeal where its just the two of you on the floor with an announcement ,etc.-- just one (slower) song each where you invite them to dance, and everyone else is allowed to dance, too. Not a reception "event"-- just a dance. That will give you a chance to show them that they are special without excluding anyone, or putting anyone on the spot.

Good luck!

I had a similar situation. I really wasn't sure if my father was going to come to the wedding; he doesn't travel much at all. My stepdad walked me down the aisle but we didn't do a father/daughter dance and my mother-in-law was okay with not doing a mother/son dance. I felt like doing one but not the other would draw more attention than not doing any of those at all. My dad ended up coming, btw.

I think you should do what YOU are comfortable doing not what anyone else wants you to do or not and forget what is traditional. Decide it right before the wedding about doing the dance or not. go ahead and let your FH and his Mom have their dance.

My Uncle is my back up for my dad who has Dementia and Parkinson's.

I'm going through the same thing. I met my dad in 09 but my uncle has been my dad my hole life and I told him before I met my dad that I wanted him to walk me. Now my father is in my life and paying for a lot an has mentioned how excited he is to walk me :/ I had to sit down with my real dad and yes it was kind of uncomfortable. I decided to have my Uncel walk me 1/2 way and my dad the rest of the way this way both ate still involved. I could tell he was crushed at 1st but in the end he understood. As for the dance I'm doing 2 and the dj will say "Sarah would like to share a special dance with her uncel who has been there for so much" or just "her Uncel " and leave it at that. I feel like in this kind of situation someone is always gonna be a bit hurt but it's your day and the ones that trulyove you just want what ever you do. They want you to be happy so just do what your heart wants and all will be well

Thank you all very much--Its hard because everyone says, do what you want..But not sure if they REALLY mean it. I am sure you all have experienced this. I think its time to have a chat with both and take it from there.

There ya go ! Just take a deep breath, and be honest with yourself and everyone involved. It will all work out doll. Keep smiling