faq page, are you really telling people what colors not to wear?

No. I don’t know why anyone would tell an adult what not to wear.

I’m not including that on my page either. I’m hoping people don’t wear a white dress, but in the end, I honestly don’t care what others wear as long as they aren’t showing up in sweats or something

I did! Because my dress code is made up "formal elegant beach" I put images of suggested outfits and "what not to wear". For men, not to wear shorts or flip flops, for women not to wear pastel colors close to white. Some people do not know this rule and if your dress code leaves open to interpretation better to say it now than to be upset with someone in a pale pink dress.

I didn't know it was a rule that guests should steer clear of the bridesmaid dress color, thats hard especially if its something like black or navy.

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That's helpful and very good in your instance. I feel like my FH would be so lost as to what to wear for a beach wedding! And agreed I never even really knew people's colors if I wasn't in the wedding. I guess some women will pay attention to details (coloring) of invitations since many women incorporate their color into that. I wouldn't care if someone wore a dress color similar to bridesmaids! Many times it's not like other guests are wearing the typical bridesmaid style dress anyway!

There is no way we would have done that. The ceremony was in a synagogue, and we figured people know how to dress for a synagogue/church. For the at-home reception, we just said "party attire." People showed up in everything from shorts to kilts. We figured we'd rather have people dress in what they own than decide not to show up because they couldn't afford a new outfit.

Adults know how to dress themselves. It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I see that type of FAQ. If someone wears white, they will look ridiculous. And its hard to upstage the bride. If someone wears jeans, again they look ridiculous. As far as the same colors as the bridesmaids, its not really something I care about. People pick common colors for their weddings that are in most peoples closets. I don't see it as a big deal.

I only think a dress code is appropriate for a black tie wedding, in which case, I'd like to know it was that formal of an event to dress accordingly.

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Yeah I mean you figure don't wear white is a general rule of thumb. I mean white shouldn't even be a dress option color for people in fall/winter hahha

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Right Idk why it was on all the lists. Most people realize don't wear white. I am only telling my guests it is formal attire and no jeans please because we have a lot of "country" friends. It's just a special day; they all wear jeans every other day. They can at least put khakis on for a day.

I think it’s in bad rate to create a dress code of any kind. I personally don’t mind if my guests wear white either. I’d prefer if they put effort in and didn’t show up in pajamas but I didn’t invite them for asthetics, so that’s on them.

We have a line that reminds people that our reception is on a farm so to make appropriate shoe choices, but not telling them what they can and can't wear. If someone really wants to show up wearing stilettos they're welcome to - they'll probably just keep sinking into the ground!

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I also did it because I was getting asked a lot "what should I wear?" ALOT, so to help everyone I thought it would be nice to provide some guidance. I also started off with "please put your comfort above all else" at the beginning of the blurb, I of course want my guests to be comfortable but we wanted a certain sense of formality. In my case, a "beach wedding" could be interpreted as khaki sorts and short sleeve shirts, which is not the case. We have a 7 course plated meal, top shelf liquor and a totally private venue. Its "formal" but still beach, so like not tuxedos...see where it gets confusing? As a guest, I would prefer to be told what to wear so that I don't show up looking too over or underdressed. If I'm not IN a wedding but know a bridal party member, I usually ask to see what the dress looks like to gauge what I should wear. For example if they are all in gowns, I know I should be too. If they are in short dresses, then I know I can go a little less formal.

Our website says: “semi-formal attire - we recommend wearing a cocktail dress, jacket & tie, or something comparable”

I find most people want to be dressed appropriately and will actually find it helpful to be given suggestions as to the right type of attire. From this, they can logically gather what NOT to wear (clearly don’t need a ball gown, or a tux, but also clearly should not wear jeans).

As for colors, I don’t think it matters much. Will people really think twice about a guest in the same color as the bridesmaids? Probably not. Bridesmaids will be distinguished by standing at the front during your ceremony. Especially if the bridesmaid dresses are a popular color, I wouldn’t tell other guests that they can’t wear that color. For not wearing white... I feel like this is implied at any wedding lol. If someone wears white they will look ridiculous. To think they would “detract from the bride” is silly. Even if someone showed up to my wedding in a floorlength white gown, I suppose I wouldn’t be happy about it because it’s an obvious passive aggressive dig lol, but I wouldn’t be worried about attention being taken away from me. Everyone knows who the bride is, and someone else in a white dress isn’t going to detract from how beautiful you look

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Hahaha too true. All this makes me think of is like prom and homecoming where we'd take big group pictures in too tall heels sinking into the grass!

I'm not putting this on my wedding website at all. We don't have a special dress code where things really need to be spelled out, like a PP mentioned. I'm hoping my guests know better than to wear white to a wedding. They are adults after all. It's not my place to dictate what they are and aren't to wear.

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I like your suggestion of like jacket and tie. I don't care if they wear a shirt, suspenders and a bow tie lol I just don't want jeans! My FH fought me himself on this cuz he was comparing it to our other friends' wedding. I keep saying the venues are not the same it's not that same style. While we want some rustic it's more upscale and especially the food and drink will be. I find it's the perfect balance! I feel like women ask a lot what they should wear or how to dress their boyfriends/husbands hahah. I agree some guidance is helpful. I might add some additions like what your website says! Thank you! very helpful.

Unless you're doing a black tie affair, you don't need to list a dress code as almost all adults know that weddings mean semi-formal or cocktail attire. Besides things like the look of your invitation, they way they are addressed, style of dinner, and time of day will all help inform your guests of appropriate attire. There is no need to spell it out for them as 95% of adults will be able to tell what or how they should dressed based on these contextual clues and common sense

For example, I went to two weddings this fall after my own,

One was completely outdoors under a pavillion grass and dirt floor) with the ceremony in a field with very casual buffet foods that started at 3pm, I wore a more casual day dress with nice boots (easy to walk outside in). For the second the ceremony was outside but the reception was indoors with a real floor, seated dinner and evening time, I wore a fall cocktail dres (long sleeves) and heeled booties.

I could tell from the types of invitations and the context clues given therein the appropriate attire. Neither bride had to spell out for me the appropriate clothing to wear

Adults can dress themselves.

Also, i attended a wedding in a long patterned pink dress and the bridal party was in the same solid pink. I assure you people did not think i was in the bridal party and it wasn’t a big deal.

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While you can understand contextual clues as most women can most men can't!! We went to a pretty formal wedding for our friend at a golf course. They mentioned no dress code but my friend asked what to wear and the bride said it was okay for her to wear a dress and cowboy boots. Well her husband showed up in jeans... he was the only one. The grooms party made fun of him. While we are all adults our male guests will insinuate that because we are all country jean wearing, boot wearing people majority of the time that that is what they can wear to the wedding. While our venue is still a renovated barn/farmhouse, it doesn't look like that (it's more formal rustic chic) so I am definitely going to at least stick with the formalwear no jeans thing.

Hi Angelena! I don't think this is common information to include on a wedding website! Rather than giving specific colors or outfits, you can offer suggestions as to the type of attire you hope people will wear (black tie, cocktail, etc)!

Absolutely not! Haha I just pray guests are smart enough not to wear white, I have never heard of including that on FAQs! And I would never tell someone not to wear black, it's a nice color that I see a ton of women wear to weddings.