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Chabely
Savvy November 2021

Family

Chabely, on July 18, 2021 at 2:40 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

Hi all!

So, for those of you who are NOT paying for their guests hotel stays and/or transportation, how do you go about letting them know politely that if they wish to attend or travel they must pay for their expenses.


I have a pretty huge family and although we are pretty close, they will not all be staying over our house to attend the wedding during the weekend. Is there some way/suggestion I can add to the website to provide nearby hotels or the option of reserving at the hotel I will be marrying in?


Thanks a lot!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Pat, on July 19, 2021 at 9:35 PM
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Is it customary in your family to pay for transportation and accommodation?

    That is not common.

    Most people create a courtesy block at local hotels and list that on their websites. If transport is needed, they may also list cab companies, or, if they have the budget or the hotels provide, schedule a shuttle to the venue.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I’ve never expected my travel or accommodations to be covered by the couple when I attend a wedding. Has someone asked you to pay?
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  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
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    I’d just include a list of local hotels and note if you’ve got a hotel block anywhere. I would never expect to stay at someone’s house on their wedding weekend, nor would I expect them to pay for my travel or accommodation.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    People automatically know they are responsible for their own travel expenses. Unless you have a rich relative who always covers the bill which most do not.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    If it’s something people do in your circle (this is not very common) and so everyone will be expecting it, then word of mouth is probably best. Let a few people - good friends, family, who are not going to be negative about it - know to spread the word.
    I also would NOT reserve any hotel blocks in case anyone who uses one manages to convince staff you should be charged - people who expect things paid for can be very persuasive!
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    We reserved room blocks at 2 hotels (a nicer one and a more budget-friendly one) and put that info on our website.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    People should know to pay for their own accommodations. I would just give a list of hotels if you don’t plan to block rooms.
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  • VIP August 2020
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    Unless your wedding is taking place at a venue that's far from other hotels and has on-site lodging, no one should expect you to pay for their rooms or transportation. And even if your venue does have guest accommodations, you don't have to pay for them. Especially if your family is likely to have a lot of questions/assumptions about how things will go, I'd recommend making a wedding website so you can direct them there instead of having the same (possibly irritating) conversation dozens of times.
    On there, you can just list "places to stay" or you can include a link to your hotel block of you have one. (We used and would recommend Kleinfeld Hotel Blocks to make getting a hotel block easier.)
    We didn't include the prices for the rooms on our website, but you can if you want to make it very clear that people will have to pay to stay there. The only transportation that I've ever seen provided at a wedding is a shuttle between the (block-reserved) hotel and the venue. It's a good idea to do that if you have a lot of people staying at one hotel and the venue is more than 15-20 minutes away from it, but it's not 100% necessary.
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  • I_Do_Too
    Devoted September 2020
    I_Do_Too ·
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    Going of PPs advice, provide as much information about airports, transportation (distance from hotels to venue) etc as possible. No need to inform people you’re not footing the bill.
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  • Samantha
    Expert December 2021
    Samantha ·
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    We didn't do room blocks and had "Hotel Accommodations May Be Made At" and liked a couple hotels near the venue. Everyone is flying in for our wedding (not destination, we're military) so it'd be a nightmare to coordinate everyone's transportation and stuff.
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  • Emilia
    Super June 2019
    Emilia ·
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    Hi ! I understand what you mean... in my country it's common for the couple to pay everything, including the transportation and the stay of the guests. In my husband's country everyone pays for himself and it's completely normal. So... we had to make a compromise. "My" guests came 1000km by car, so I wanted to offer them them their hotel rooms, however I couldn't afford to pay the whole week for a family of 4 (coming from far away, they decided to stay longer...). So I payed 3 days of their stay, for the rest, I send them a list of airbnbs and hotels...

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  • Pat
    Rockstar May 2023
    Pat Online ·
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    Oh yay! I was wondering if that was ok to do! You just solved my dilemma😁

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