Family Saying Right of the Bat, They're Not Going!

I'd probably just reply with "okay."

Have not yet had any craziness, but have plenty of time to go and I'm sure it will happen. I'm not into coddling people when they have strange drama issues. Don't want to come because you're incapable of adult behavior for a few hours on my behalf? Okay, see ya. ✌

Unfortunately, yes! My wedding isn't until May 24th of 2020 and already my sister told me she won't be attending because of the same reason, even after saying yes to being in the wedding party. It's heartbreaking. I told her I would make ANY special accommodations for her to be comfortable but she is refusing. At this point I'll just let time figure it out, but I'm a little upset she accepted being a bridesmaid 2 months ago and now refuses to even come. Wishing you the best, I know the pain.

It’s really unfortunate that she’s acting that way. I’m sure you’re hurt and annoyed, but maybe you’re better off without her there to bring drama and negativity.

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Hey Jennifer, yeah I hear what you're saying. I didn't even respond to her and I honestly don't want to.. like am I supposed to feel bad for her? I'm the one getting married... why can't people just put their feelings aside? Sigh.. I just think she doesn't want to attend our wedding. This aunt and my FH's mom has had life long feuds.. and I think that she is hateful that fh and I are getting married and her sister's son is getting married... if you catch the connection. It's just craziness. Thank you for your feedback

Fortunately, we had a very tiny DW (15 guests) or I would have had something similar. My dad doesn’t get along with ANY of his siblings right now. Either they would have declined, or my dad might have threatened not to go if they were there. 🤦‍♀️

Thats considerate your FH’s aunt shared why. It’s a bummer but it’s not aimed at you guys and at least there won’t be any drama now.

I feel that is selfish of the Aunt. Some people can’t put aside that it’s not about them. She should suck it up buttercup for her nephew! You are better off because given her attitude now she may have caused a seen!

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Hey Meghan, wow... I am sorry that your sis isn't going... maybe your sis will turn around and change her mind... Thank you for your kind words.. let's hope our situations look up

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Hey Caytlyn,

Yeah it's probably better she doesn't show up.

My fiancé’s dad doesn’t want to come because of his ex wife (mog) and we revolved the wedding date around the comfort of my fiancé’s grandmother yet she told us this month she isn’t coming. My fiancé is being so gracious about it but I know it must hurt and it certainly hurts my feelings. I’m trying to focus on who will be there and stay strong for his sake.

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It is a bummer, but yeah she did tell us and we just have to accept it... it's just sad! It really is! Thank you so much for your input

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Hey Carrie,

She really should suck it up, but it seems like she's made up her mind. Thank you

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Wow, I can't imagine the pain he must be feeling. As long as he has you, he will be okay. Thank you, Peggy for your insight

Because I can be petty, I would probably respond with something like “ok, I’m sorry you can’t put aside your strife to support us on our day, regardless of who will be in attendance, but we understand” lol

Hey girl, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that! It’s weird that she’d reach out to you instead of your FH but I digress. There’s some conflict and drama on my moms side and less than 48hrs after we got engaged my cousin sent me a long text basically saying she wouldn’t go if my grandma was there 🙄 (who I don’t get along with either, but not inviting her would’ve caused more drama). My takeaway from the whole thing has been this: “if your conflict with them is more important than your relationship with me, then that’s okay. Don’t come to my wedding.” If his aunt truly was happy and supportive of you she’d put aside her differences with the rest of her family for a few hours to be at your wedding. I’ve been sooooo tempted to text that to my cousin but I haven’t, and I think you’re right to just ignore his aunt. She’s probably just trying to stir the pot

Yep. Just think of it as you saving money not having got feed them and drama you don't have to deal with in your wedding day. There's really nothing else you can do but just try not to let it affect you. They're adults and if they can't handle their feelings for a few hours, that's on them.

I’m sorry ! I would let them know that this could potentially damage your relationship with them, and if it does that is their choice. My aunt, who is also my godmother is my dads older sister. Dad and I have not talked in around 4 years because he’s a psycho. The last year or two my aunt has been slowly ignoring me and though she said that she respects my decision with my dad, obviously this is not the case. She was actually just visiting from down south a few weeks ago and didn’t even give me a call that she was in state even though I haven’t seen her in almost a year or spoken to her in 5 months (this is her behalf, not mine). I plan on giving her that same line if she ends up opting out of coming to my wedding. It’s on her, not you.

Send them the invite, if they say no that's their problem. Sure they probably should suck it up but you can't force it.

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Hey Sara, yeah I don't know why she chose to message me about it. It's ridiculous... I think she wants to stir the pot, too. She has been known to be a drama seeker.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! Honestly, it's their loss. Keep your head up

Unfortunately, that seems to be "normal". I personally think it's ridiculous, but sadly you just have to deal with it sometimes.