Family members acting like a**holes??!!

I am soooooo soo sorry!


1) Tell your FMIL that her son really wants the dance with her. Nephew can always “butt-in” later but it’s VIP to him. Maybe have HIM tell her too.
2) Your dad, idk! Wow- even though it’s a “second wedding” it’s your first to this person. Maybe tell him that you want to have the traditional wedding and show your FH that he is loved, valued and respected enough to warrant the traditions! That it hurt your feelings when he said what he did.

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Thanks for the advice. His family has literally never had a traditional wedding so I'm not sure if she gets it? And her whole family will be there too so it's not like we are forcing her to stand by her ex...they aren't even taking pictures together!

And yes...I told him that last night and he said I was being selfish because he can't be around people apparently now...sigh..such a jerk!! But I will definitely tell him my FH deserves a good day even if I "had" it before!

View Quoted Comment I get that. Honestly, I think he needs to talk to her and explain that he wants her to be there and to cooperate at least a little bit. Maybe you both tell her there needs to be a compromise- throw cream pies at pictures of your ffil the night before, but day of she needs to be polite and ignore her ex. Also maybe ecomain the tradition and see why it means so much to your FH


Ugh. What a mess - I am so sorry. I mean, my parents are being a bit like that and that is after twelve years of divorce. My mom started throwing a similar fit, and I told her flat out to cooperate for one day. But if your parent can't put aside feelings for your day....then that's just a bummer. To put it mildly. Only you can decide what you want for your day. Speak your piece and he either understands where you're coming from or he doesn't.

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Thanks for the advice and that sounds fair. I just don't understand her thought process. Especially because I've said how important this is for us. But you're right maybe some compromise is needed.

yeah, my FH told me to just accept him for what he is and know that my dad doesn't make the day. I just can't even begin to talk to him about it rn because I'm so worked up. I did tell my siblings and they are on my side but lawd I am mad lol

View Quoted Comment My fmil has also been a bit odd about wedding planning, but she never had daughters and my ex sister in law dominated planning from what I can tell. So she's been pretty hands off lol. I got a little concerned before my FH just explained that's who she is. She may just be the type of lady who doesn't understand huge weddings or doesn't really care for parties. Grain of salt I say.


Oh god, I would be too. I was pissed at my mom - we sat down with my aunt who is officiating, and she was suuuuper catty the whole time- but she's calmed down again. Gotta remember the divorce wasn't your fault, and your parents have to put aside their feelings for the day. Hopefully they can be adults and be polite. Def take a few days to cool off, then you can come back to table hopefully to compromise. Stay strong!

Soooooo elope and tell everyone to take a long walk off a short pier lol.

1 - I think your FH needs to talk to the MIL and you stay out of it. That is his mom and it is important to him so he needs to express that the nephew is a no go.

2 - Talk to your dad and say regardless if this is my second wedding it is important to me and I really need your full support and attention on that day. Please do not leave after the father/daughter dance and that you need him to pull it together for one day. I know it is your dad but if he busts out with one more negative comment like do I have to be there then say I love you but no you don't. I don't want to make you do anything you want to do and then he can miss an important day.

Sorry you are having to deal with family and grown ups acting this way. I hope it gets better.

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Okay, I'm going to try and talk to her about it at Christmas and see if maybe she gets the memo this time. sigh.

Thank you! I will tell him to get over it at this point or just take it for what it is. So annoying!!