Family Issues

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Hi there. 1. Sorry for using the term accident. It's definitely NOT what I meant. I think my uncle regrets stepping outside the marriage and that's the only accident I meant. Sorry. 2. Yep, I had the same thing with last-minute invites. But, I am leaving it as maybes and putting them at bigger tables for seating. I also plan to finalize seating like 2 days before, bc then i'll know for sure since it's a destination wedding. I think it's because they feel offended at the late invite. I breached it with "we couldn't invite any cousins due to guest limit, but now we have 2 spots after RSVPs and I would love for you to be there." Congrats by the way

View Quoted Comment So sorry you have to deal with that.


I have zero tolerance for selfish people, even if they raised me. I would probably be done with her after my wedding. If she can't even respect you on ur wedding day, then she has no respect for you at all. Seems like she has no respect for anyone. I'd just say if you bring cousin to the wedding I will have security escort her out, and that will be the last day I'll see you. Or honestly don't say anything to her just have ur mind made up, you've said enough. I say to fiance all the time, just because you love your family, doesn't mean you have to like them.

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I'm totally at a loss for how to be happy and have her in my life, to be honest. It's complicated beyond belief and I can't imagine not having her in my life. Over the years, I have drifted away from her a bit, because her manipulative ways is hurtful beyond words can express. But, I know that I still want her in my life. The amount of time she's in my life lately is totally dependent on how she treats me. And she knows that to some degree. Because her manipulation in the past has only led to me pulling away more from her. But, she also know, I believe, that I wouldn't cut her out of my life. Same with her kids, but she's done a lot worse to/with them.

I wanted to reach out and say thanks for the comments and suggestions on this post. I did take a blend of advice but also thought more about it after my initial post (3 weeks pre-wedding). Now that the day is over and turned out amazing, I can share what I tried. After the post, I did not call/speak to Grams for 2 weeks. I got to my destination wedding location and had changed my original plan to spend a few days at my Grams place at that destination. I think setting clearer boundaries like that helped and I'm sure it hurt as well. I had to endure the Catholic guilt that comes with someone preparing for your stay with them, but I survived it. Ultimately, it was this decision that set the tone for the rest of time pre-wedding. I did still visit my Grams and spent a half day with her, but then we went back to our place we booked. I had only one uninvited guest but had prepared for at least 10 more, so that was good, and it was a no-drama event allllll the wayyyyy through - yay! Wedding planning is so stressful. We did it our way and i'm still on cloud 9 - it turned out beautiful and guests really enjoyed the non-traditional wedding approach we took on. There's always going to be little hickups along the way and that stress is really tough. I'm glad I spoke up, even if I had to hide my identity to do so. The words from you all helped me a great deal. Thanks!