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Dedicated October 2020

Family Invite Drama

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Candace, on March 29, 2020 at 11:22 PM

My fiancé and I have sent out 90% of our save the dates this past weekend. But the problem is, my mom gave me the addresses of all of her sisters, but I only grew up knowing three of them. My mom does not speak to most of her sisters (would take too long to explain the family history there).With that being said, I asked my mom to give me the addresses of the sisters that she wanted me to invite. So she asked one of the sisters that she does talk to for all of their addresses. The problem is, she said she can’t just pick one or two to invite, she would have to invite them all... even though my fiancé and I are the ones paying for our wedding without their help. I only grew up with three of those aunts and I invited the two, the other one passed away. The rest, to be honest I don’t care for..What would you do in my situation? I didn’t invite all of my dads siblings either, just bc I only grew up knowing a few of them as well. Thanks in advance.

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24 Comments

Dedicated September 2020
Sabrina · on April 3, 2020 at 12:47 AM
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I wouldn't invite them personally. We are having a small ceremony and reception (destination) and I chose not to invite my cousins, just my aunt and uncle's. (I'm so happy all but 1 said no!)

If your parents aren't helping financially I'd say heck no!
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on April 10, 2020 at 10:00 AM
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I’d do the same as you did, inviting those who were involved. For my parents’ siblings that wasn’t a question for me, but I have a big family, my grandma was one of 11 children that survived to adulthood , my grandpa was 1 of 3, and I grew up going to family functions multiple times a year with them. When sending out invites I knew I wanted to invite my great-aunts & uncles (there are only 6 total left), but my mom asked me about her cousins and I only listed 3 or 4 because they’re the only ones that have really been involved in my life in the past 15+ years.
It’s hard to please everyone, but be kind and do what’s best for you and your FH. Remember it’s your wedding not theirs.
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Dedicated October 2020
Candace · on April 10, 2020 at 10:05 AM
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Yes I decided to end up inviting the Aunts who were involved in my childhood vs the ones I only saw once every 5-7 years. I’m sure my mother would understand I’m glad you felt the same way!!
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on April 11, 2020 at 5:45 AM
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I'm all about inviting people to spend our special day with us as the people we love and are close to. If for whatever family drama you guys haven't spoken in 7 years NO i wouldn't invite them and wouldn't feel bad about it. They are not impactful in either one of you guys lives and don't support your union because they don't know who you guys are? I'm not the same person i was 7 years ago. I've changed I've matured, changed physically, mentally and I see life differently so to me no they wouldn't be considered. Life is to short for drama , negativity and stress especially with our current state in the world. Embrace those who support your union don't be bullied by the etiquette police on here and plus only you know your finances so don't put yourself out there. if it was a no brainer for your dads side and you FH's extended family then same applies for Aunts. stand your ground.
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