Family in law

View Quoted Comment The only reason we have really gotten for push back is that we are getting married too soon.
Money and time off is not the issue. I had told
them before we would elope and I had no push back on that. We priced an all inclusive when my BIL got married and that was easily double what we would he paying for a cruise wedding so I’m not sure where you got that information from.

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Sorry- i got the information from my own experience of going on both types of vacations.

I think is a normal reaction when stating you want a destination wedding. I had a reaction from both of our parents which wasn’t bad at all they just told us all the possible scenarios that could happen if we decided it on this. They were excited for us and very supportive but they were upfront and honest and everything they told me was true in the end. You just have to know that not everyone would be able to go and you have to be ok with that.

My advice is to not board a boat for 7 days with upset in-laws. Wait for the next boat.

Can you maybe do a shorter cruise. My fiancé and I would not be able to do that as we don’t have 7 days of same vacation time. Plus you should get there a day early so hotel room. You should always do a day early in case your flight gets cancelled or delayed. And with flights a couple will be spending 600 plus to attend your wedding. Families more then that. That does not include drink package , wedding gift, if the need new clothes. Travels insurance if they need pass ports. Taking kids out of school. Finding someone to watch them for a week. Plus a lot of families only get a week of vacation.

I don’t think your date is too soon, and I think $450 is a very reasonable price for a cruise. I personally would opt to upgrade to a balcony room, but obviously that’s not necessary at all! The only thing I may agree on is that some people may find a week is hard to get away for. Not everyone has a job that allows for that much time off, or may not be able to go away for a whole week for a number of reasons. Maybe you could look into a long weekend cruise as a compromise. We are doing a destination wedding as well, and initially were going to do a cruise but ended up deciding to go to Key West since it offered more flexibility for our guests.

You and your FH need to decide what you really want, and should stick to it. You shouldn’t have wedding regrets over something as big as where you are married. Maybe if you show his parents a break down of how much they would need to save, as in $X/week, they would see it’s not such a ridiculous idea. You may also want to consider not having a bridal shower or registry since you are asking people to go away for your wedding. Be respectful of his family’s opinions, but let them know you two are happy and excited about your decision. Unfortunately you’ll never make everyone happy.

Fyi, not sure who you’re looking to book with but Royal Caribbean has been sending me a ton of emails lately about a sale they have going on!

View Quoted Comment Considering we have picked a date and all agree that anything less than a 7 day cruise is not really worth the money. I’m looking for previous experience with in laws pushing back or how to discuss with them not to give up what we want. It’s still our day so why you would ever tell a bride to not do what they want for their wedding day I’m astonished by. I wish you all the best and that you never deal with a situation like this.

View Quoted Comment My message was an attempt at humor. They board one boat, you board another. I was trying to get you to laugh since this is a tense situation. Good day!

View Quoted Comment My thought here is a little off topic compared to everyone else. My main question concerns the fact that you originally wanted to elope, which means you wanted less people around. Do you REALLY want to be stuck around all those people for an entire 7 days?

I would rethink the length of the cruise and maybe do the shorter one just to not have to deal them for so long. I think maybe that would be better for everyone, as you still get your cruise, people wont have to take off as long from work, and it's a little cheaper for everyone involved.

My friend is having a cruise wedding. She is getting married on embarkation day so the cermemony is at 10am and people can attend and get off the boat before it sails or they can go on the cruise. That way it opens it up to more people being able to go. Idk if that something your ship offers. Either way it's your wedding and I would just tell them this is what you and FH want. They should be supportive. I think it's something you should let him handle with them.

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A hotel for one-two nights and a couple of meals locally is absolutely going to be much cheaper than paying for transportation to a cruise embarkation and a cruise. Also, people have the OPTION to do that cheaply on the mainland. On a cruise, they're stuck and have no options but to pay the $450 minimum, plus travel expenses to get there.

I'm trying to explain to you why your in-laws are mad, because you seemed genuinely confused. It's because you would be forcing people to take a weeklong vacation to see you get married. Doesn't mean you have to settle for a church hall reception either. You just have to think about what's more important to you - the people you would like to celebrate with you, or the location you get married.

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This is a fantastic compromise. That way you're not forcing people to take a whole week of vacation, plus the cruise $$ to see you get married! You can still enjoy your cruise with those that would like to join you, but people who can't/don't want to can still attend your wedding.

View Quoted Comment That would double our cost for the wedding so no this is not an option for us.

I don't think anyone is necessarily trying to tell you to change your plan. I think everyone is trying to shed some light on how to address this with the in laws. While a shorter cruise is not your preference, having a conversation about it and showing them that you value their opinion could be beneficial. Me and my fiance's family have not seen eye to eye on a number of things with my wedding but I take what they say into consideration and try to compromise a little. While I do realize it's my day, I also know that I don't want to begin my marriage with tension between me and my fiance's family. They see that I'm putting in effort to include everyone and I know they appreciate it, even if I still move forward with my original plan. At the end of the day, if 7 days on a boat is what you choose that's GREAT!

(I would definitely look into the ceremony prior to departure idea, though! Seems like the perfect compromise for you and your FH's family!)

Good luck on your planning. It will be a wonderful day no matter where it is! Keep us updated on what you decide

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This is exactly why I said in my original response that the reason it is cheaper for you is because you're pushing costs onto your guests. Absolutely have the wedding you'd like that fits in your budget, but you can't also be mad when people (especially VIPs like immediate family!!!) are upset because they are being hugely inconvenienced.

View Quoted Comment But you are way more then doubling a guests cost to go to wedding. It seems like you chose the cheapest for you and most expensive for guest.

View Quoted Comment Even if it is a priority to people - costs and time off may not allow them to be there. This saying really rubs me the wrong way. So a family of four is $1800. People may not be able to pay rent or the mortgage if they have to pay that amount. Or someone may lose their job if they have no time off to take. But you know, if your wedding is a priority for them <eyeroll>.

OP - have whatever wedding and your future spouse want. Just be prepared that some VIPs may not make it. Also, there may be hurt feelings by some people if you go ahead with this plan. Again, do what you and your partner want, just be prepared to accept those things.

View Quoted Comment Considering we are in the process of buying a house and don’t have any financial help for our wedding yes we are trying to find something that is cheaper for us but still allows for a wedding. Everyone is so focused on money being an issue when I have explained that we have had no concerns voiced about the cost of the cruise. OUR GUESTS ARE NOT CONCERNED WITH THE MONEY.

View Quoted Comment Did You ask if they had a vacation planned? Maybe they had something planned they can’t go on a vacation they had planned? Have you talked to them about it. My advice is see it though their eyes. I get it’s your day. Yes you should feel special and amazing in your day. But you have to remember as much as everyone loves you guys they have things outside the wedding.