Family Forcing Cousin into Bridal Party

Ugh. I haaaaaate this whole "you have to cause they're family" bullshit. These are random people you've been lumped in with due to genetics. it makes more sense that you don't get along. I wouldn't give in. Stand your ground and let everyone else be petty.

It is your day! Don't let anyone pressure you into this.

My crazy aunt was campaigning for years, to get her daughter to be a flower girl, in everyone's wedding. She acted like her daughter would suffer for life, if she never became one. And guess what? She's 16 and has never been a flower girl. And my mom's family hasn't invited kids to weddings, since she was a kid (4 plus decades ago); our wedding was 21 and up.

The aunt even had the nerve to make her daughter call our grandmother, and tell her "Tell cousin X that if she needs a flower girl, I'm available." My grandmother told my other aunt/MOB, who later regretted relaying that information to her daughter/the bride. The bride was furious; she had no intention of inviting kids, or having any in her bridal party, including the groom's 3 nieces.

@CrystalQueen I am dying! Going through similar crap with my sister and mom ... the girl never has any consequences for her terrible life decisions!!

@MrsG2B, I'm sorry they're trying to push drama on you. It's not fair to put you (or your cousin) in this position, so hopefully they'll get the memo and forget about it for now, at least. You got lots of great advice, and this happens to more brides than you might think.

It may be rough to tell someone no, especially gma but it's your day, have who you want. I have too many cousins I like and dislike and I have 1 as a BM.

One think my gma says is whenever someone is mad "they will get glad again"

I would find a way to involve her without making her a bridesmaid!

I need to borrower all of you and have a crazy family intervention. Seems like you all are the only ones living in the world of sanity where the Bride gets to make her own decisions...

O, btw FH and I are paying for the entire things ourselves...

@Shalott I like where you are going with this!!! Hostess, maybe??

@CrystalQueen your sister sounds like my cousin...maybe we're distant relatives...Lol. She is pretty self absorbed and only considered with the "turn up". I was trying for the least drama filled option, but it's like shoot yourself in the foot or the other foot.

It's you & your FH's day. You get to pick who is in your wedding - the end.

My FMIL and FH's grandmother have been trying to guilt FH into making his brother a BM. FH & his brother are not close. At all. There's an age gap as well as them being raised separately (FH spent more time with his father, his brother grew up underneath FMIL). They have even gone so far as to try to get me on their side. In the end, I told them FH is ultimately the one who has to decide, but if the issue is the brother being in the wedding - he was always going to be in the wedding. We planned for both my brother & FH's brother to be ushers. Once I told them that, they backed off somewhat. In any case, this ins't something you need to worry about now.

Nope, nope, nope. Say no, your bridal party is set (when it is). I wouldn't offer consolation positions or jobs, greeter, guestbook etc. Just say that you're happy to have her as a guest. That's an honour too,

You could point out to GMA that having someone in a wedding is not going to achieve a close relationship. It may actually make things worse.

I picked my bridal party soon I was engaged because I started planning not long after I got engaged. ( almost 24 months out) I had a cousin who wanted to be in my wedding, her mother felt she should be in my wedding. SHE IS NOT IN MY WEDDING. I did not want her in my wedding and I was not going to ask to appease others. It is your day and you have to remember that. If your grandmother does not want to attend because of this you respond to her and tell her she will miss one hell of a party, then throw her the deuces! Do NOT however let anyone guilt you into adding her into your bridal party.