Family drama for older couples

So more recently some new developments. My dad is insisting we come for a visit as he wants to meet my fiancée before we marry. We live 14 hrs away from one another. I don’t have a major issue with it but he seems to think he needs to give feedback or an opinion on him so I don’t make another mistake (he detested my first husband and we lasted 25 years) hmmm. Anyways to top it off my dad and his sister (my aunt) haven’t spoken in about 5 years and when I called her to share the news of my wedding date she freaked (and not in a good way). I made one comment about her and my father being the only ones making this stressful for us and she freaked again but this time passed the phone to my uncle because she didn’t want to speak With me and told me if I ever put her in the same category with my dad again she’ll never speak to me again. I’m beside myself. This is such a headache. I’m too old to be dealing with this and I’m ready to write them all off.

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WOW! talk about DRAMA! omg you don't need that in your life. Have they always been like this? So not cool! They are acting like 5 year olds fighting over a toy in the sandbox.

I would not cave to either of them or their drama. It sounds like it is time to draw some hard boundaries with them. You are all adults here to I do question your father and aunt lol. If your dad is insisting then he can assist his way over to see YOU at YOUR place. He does not need home field advantage if he is going to behave badly. If he acts up while visiting you he is more than welcome to go back home. It sounds like your aunt threatening to never speak to you again might be a good thing.

I would consider sending them both a separate email that you are disappointed in their reactions and support. If they feel they cannot be supportive of the marriage then they are more than welcome to decline the invitation to the wedding. Then no more conversation. If they want to call and talk and I mean talk as respectful adults then welcome the conversation. Any bad behavior, (JADE - Justify, argue, defend, explain) drama, name calling etc should be responded with an thank you good bye and hang up. You should not accept behavior from a family member that you would not tolerate from anyone else.

OK off the soapbox.

View Quoted Comment I get it.. it's hard to say the hell with them when you want to because deep down you love them and just want them to accept it and be happy for you.. I am going thru it too. But I don't care and just decided to not talk about it to them. I'm doing what I want and that's it.. good luck sweetie

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AMEN! I totally agree with you, Cyndy. The OP needs to do what makes her happy and forget about the background noise.