Families in Two States?!

I am going through this right now. The wedding is in PA since his family is there--including his 93yo grandmother, and we live in CA. The rest of my family and friends live in 5 states and 2 countries. And I have never been to PA! So lucky me--my entire family has to fly in.

My advice? Give everyone who has to fly plenty of notice to prepare. Realize that some might not make it and do not take it personally if they can't. Try to pick a wedding date that is friendlier as far as air, hotel prices, etc. i.e we're getting married April 1st--better prices all around. Get a block of hotel rooms. And if you can--help out with the money for friends who you really want to be there but can't quite swing it.

And when you get home, through a more casual reception for the friends and family who couldn't come.

Above all: Be gracious. Be kind.

Traditionally, the way to deal with this was to have the ceremony and a reception afterwards in the bride's home town, and then a second reception in the groom's home town. You could adapt this to your situation by having the ceremony and first reception wherever you currently live, and then a second reception in whichever state (Arkansas or California) didn't get the first reception. It might be simpler and less expensive to fly the two of you out for a second reception than to try to get all the relatives on one side to fly to the other location.

No matter which way we go on this one... people are going to have to travel for us. We live in GA (my only family here is my mom; his parents and only brother live here)... the rest of my family is in AZ, NV, and TX... the rest of his family is in OH, MI, FL, NC, KY, and I think another state or two lol. Everyone will be traveling to us if they choose to come to the wedding.

We figured it would be much simpler on us (particularly the $&dollar to just stay here for the wedding. We will have a videographer (mostly because my grandparents cannot travel due to health) so we can send video to those who will not be able to make it. Maybe you can do the same if you can fit one in your budget?

Like Sharron M. suggested... give those who will be traveling plenty time notice so they can prepare travel plans. Just remember to do what is best for you and your fiance... the people who matter will be there no matter where you get married!

We are going through a similar situation - my dad is in the military so they are constantly moving; most of my family is west coast, all of his familiy is east coast and i also have family outside of the country.

my best advice is to give them as much notice as possible. we also did a lot of research on hotels, and reserved rooms at a really reasonable price for our guests. This will help out on a lot of costs. Since we are having the wedding in Northern VA, we were able to choose a hotel that is on the metro line - also on the metro line is an airport, so everyone who is flying in can take the metro straight to the hotel, paying $4 instead of tons of money on a taxi. so do some research on hotel pricing, get a good block of rooms reserved and make your guests aware of the block of rooms you reserved. do what you can to keep the hotel as close to your venue as possible - since they won't have a car to get around. our hotel will provide a shuttle service to and from our venue cont...

At no additional cost because of the number of rooms we block with them, so ask hotels if they offer a similar type of service.

do what is best for the two of you - you will never be able to make EVERYONE happy, and shouldn't have to try to - it's about the two of you! those who can make it will do everything in their power to come, others won't be able to come no matter what you do.

we are having the wedding in Northern VA, and none of our family lives here - but its what we wanted, and it makes things easier on us when it comes to planning the wedding. Not to mention, it's pretty easy to get here with all the airports/transportation we have available.

I hope everything works out for you guys!

My FH and I both have family all over the place. We live in Texas, and we have family coming in from Colorado, California, Louisiana & Missouri. My MOH is in Chicago, and we have family friends traveling in from Virginia/S Carolina. It was WAY easier to get married here b/c our parents & most of our siblings live here in Texas.

Depending on how far your grandparents are, is there a relative who lives near-ish to them that can take them? My FH's aunt is driving to Louisiana from Houston to pick his grandparents up and bring them to our wedding. My dad is picking up my grandmother as well, but she only lives about 90 miles away. It's not ideal, but it's what they had to do to get them here.

This is why we decided on Vegas -- it's cheaper to travel to and stay there and a direct flight from the places where we have family/guests, plus we won't have to entertain the 50 or 60 people that would descend on me if we'd had it where we live (no family here) -- they can entertain themselves. And most people seem to be happy to get a vacation too!

Grandparents weren't a concern for us though since I only have one living and he can't travel outside of his room. We gave everyone 9 months notice, and for the most part, the "why can't you get married in this little tiny town that's difficult for everyone to get to, but 5 of us live here" has stopped

You can't please everyone, but as Sharron said, be gracious and kind and you will get through it!

As 2D Bride says - traditionally it is in the Bride's hometown but due to the prices of things around here I picked a location about 1 1/2 hours away. This being said, FH family only wants to pay for what 'tradition' says they should pay for but wanted me to get married 10 hours away from where we live. I just booked a venue and all this has stopped.

The people who matter will figure out how to make the trip; at least thats my thought. My aunt and uncle already graciously told me they will drive my grandparents the 4+ hour drive. FFIL is already planning on taking the train. Give relatives as much notice as you can so they can make financial adjustments to afford the trip!

So I'm in a similar situation. But ALL of my family is in Oregon and ALL of his family is in South Dakota. We decided to pick a venue in Idaho.... right in the middle of both places. So everyone has to travel but only a 10 hour drive on each side rather than a $500 flight or 20 hour drive for one family. What is everyone's thoughts on this? Good or bad idea?

Luckily both our families live in PA but one side in Northern PA and the other near Philadelphia. We live in Harrisburg and are considering having our wedding there. The drive would be about the same for both sides but I am unsure if we should do the shower in one area, then the wedding in the other. Any opinions?