Extravagant wedding vs saving up

If neither of the parents are contributing, then I wouldn’t be planning a wedding based around them. Your wedding should be about what you and your fiancé want! Even trying to keep things small, I am spending a lot of money. I’ve adjusted and cut things out to keep the budget manageable. We have no help from anyone so spending 14,000 is daunting. So far we have paid about 60% of everything. Weddings are so expensive, don’t go into more debt to please the family. Be strong, and tell them what you want for your wedding!

I say if your parents want the big expensive wedding, ask them if they can afford to help pay for that extravagant wedding.it will be your day,do what feels right to you and your life partner. Cos as the end of the day,you will be the one who has to deal with the financial consequences of your decision while everyone else is living their lives.

Save up. It's just one day. And you already have cc debt. They look at debt when they consider whether or not to give you a loan for the home. You'll look better with a higher credit score, more than 20% down on the house, and less credit utilization (ie only have a small amount owed/used in cc bills vs how much your total allowance is with credit). Student debt is different, but if it's stuff on cards I wouldn't go further in debt for a wedding. Especially with all of the uncertainty right now. They're also offering really good rates (for now) especially if you're a first time home buyer.

View Quoted Comment I think we were thinking of the money we’re spending towards the wedding and what other things we can do with that money instead. When we got engaged, I feel like we rushed on booking a venue since so many couples have been rescheduling this year for next year instead, so I didn’t want to miss out. But now that we’re sitting down and looking at how much money we’d actually be spending, we’re realizing how much it is and how easier it would be to use that towards debt and a down payment on a house. I guess we’re looking at it from both sides. This is the only wedding our parents are going to be able to enjoy and participate in, so we want to make it fun for them, but if they’re not contributing financially, I’m starting to think differently about things

Is it your parents wedding? No? It's yours? Then do what you want. Plain and simple.

Not sure where you live which could make a big difference, but the housing market right now is SuPER HIGH. We’re definitely in a sellers market right now. As far as you being in credit debt, as long as you make your monthly payments your credit won’t be affected. I’d suggest going through with a big wedding only because this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Don’t forget, you will be making some money back from your wedding as well. Hopefully by then the housing market will come down a little bit and be more of a buyer friendly market. I definitely suggest to stop using any and all credit cards if you can. Hope this helps

Well if your families aren’t contributing then they have no say on if you have a small wedding or a big party.
If you guys prefer small, then go small.

I agree with the others. If your families aren’t contributing they have no say. It’s your day and if you’d rather save your money that’s what you should do. It’s only one day and a house is a better investment

My fiance and I are dealing with this exact issue. We wanted in the beginning to have our big dream wedding. But after giving it much much consideration we ended up deciding on a cheaper smaller wedding. We are trying to save for a house and have a big extravagant wedding would definitely put us back a couple of years on a house. Our parents weren't contributing either. And at the time my parents wanted us to have a big fancy expensive wedding and his mom wanted us to have a small cheap wedding. I told my parents we are doing a small wedding with like a tops sheet cake and that if they wanted us to have a big expensive wedding they'd need to contribute. My parents ended up contributing to the wedding but we are still having a small cheap wedding but with an actual wedding cake and not the sheet cake. Honestly we are super happy with our choice and I wouldn't change a thing about my wedding.

If your parents aren't contributing financially, then they have no say in the kind of wedding you have. I'd have the small wedding and save up for a house

I feel like i would save up for the wedding and then house. Cause I know I would personally regret not having the wedding I’d want but I also think that’s something you could do whenever like later on too

Do not do a big wedding because someone else wants you to. Do what you want to do. If anything, you can always do a large vow renewal when you are in a better place financially of you feel like you missed out on the wedding. It sounds like getting down the credit card debt and buying a house are more important to you, so I would go with that route.

If neither parents are contributing then they really can’t have a say in how extravagant it is. Never go into more debt just for a wedding. Have a smaller wedding now and maybe in a few years have a vow renewal ceremony and reception or an anniversary party.

This is really a joint decision between your FH and you.

Personally, I've always wanted a smaller wedding and big honeymoon or money towards our home. My first wedding was planned exactly that way, very intimate and we had a home built so our money went towards that.

My now 2nd wedding is planned the same way, a bit larger, but still intimate and we're using our money to enjoy our Familymoon (my FH has a 10 y/o son).

You guys have all been so helpful. We’re having a conversation about it again today and kind of going from there. We booked the venue, but we’ve only put down the deposit so far. I would rather lose that than lose much more money

Plan the wedding YOU want. Not the wedding your parents want. You will never regret staying true to yourselves.

I completely understand where you're coming from. We're having a smaller, but nice wedding. We are saving up every penny and paying for everything with cash rather than accruing debt.

Perhaps you could choose whether you have a big wedding on a budget or have a smaller/intimate wedding that is more extravagant. Either way, it is your wedding, but it's also about everyone else too. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be who you are where you are in your lives thus far.

Girl! If they’re not paying, you do what YOU TWO want to do. You sound very responsible. And there’s so many ways to save costs of weddings (DIY, reduce guest count, etc.) that I’m sure your small wedding will be just as beautiful.

If your families are not contributing, and you already have debt, I would save your money.

If you want to save money but still have the wedding of your dream. Do a lot of things on your own. I've saved tons of money making my own center pieces from things I've seen at dollar tree, Amazon and other cheap stores. You can do a lot with decoration with little money and it will add the extra touch without the extra bill. Plus look at sales going on. We are doing a candy bar for our guests wedding favors. I found the perfect size Mason jars at Ollie's for a great deal and we are going to get candy from a bulk store. Now I'm on the look out for cheap big candy jars to put the candy in and scoops to scoop out the candy. And we are saving some money by not wasting it on save the dates.