Extra time between ceremony and cocktail hour

I don't understand what the huge problem is with a gap- EVERY wedding I've ever been to has had an hour or so gap and nobody died. If the timeline works out that way, then it does. Your guests are there because they love you, an hour "gap" isn't going to ruin their day.

Where I'm from (SE Michigan) its a pretty common thing...usually going to a wedding that does NOT have a gap is pretty unheard of. Most of the time the bride and groom take the their guests into consideration and plan on something for them to do in between or suggest places to go.

For our wedding we have a 1pm catholic ceremony and cocktail hour starting at 5...during the in between my mom is hosting a catered open house with some light munchies and cocktails with my FILs for all our guests to be at should the chose.

I think a gap should be avoided at all costs.

If I was invited to a wedding with a gap I'd probably go to a bar with my husband and pre-game the cocktail hour. Just sayin'.

Every wedding I have ever been to has had at least a 3 hour gap. It's a regional thing I think. I'm originally from Canada and the area that I'm from that's how weddings were done so it's what I'm used to. Now that I live in the South I'm still having the gap because it's the only way I've seen a wedding done, I want lots of photos and I don't care if it's inconvenient for anyone else.

I was FHs date to a wedding. He was an usher, I knew no one outside of the wedding party, and they did not have a cocktail hour while they took pictures. It sucked. I walked into the reception room by myself, awkwardly picked a table by myself (no seating or table chart), and twiddled my thumbs for an hour while waiting for FH to be done with pictures. Did I survive? Obviously. But it sucked. As long as your OK with some of your guests thinking it sucks, its your wedding

Gaps are pretty common here, I don't mind them. We didn't have one but I almost wish w did. Pictures felt rushed (though they turned out awesome!) and we ended up getting back a bit late because of pics. If I could have a do-over of anything it would've been an earlier ceremony!

I mentioned in a post prior to my wedding that I had to have one of these gaps and the responses almost made me cry they were so mean and uncaring. Let me offer you the other point of view.

I have attended two weddings with a gap. One was because it was a dry wedding and therefore no cocktail hour. It was also a local wedding for the bride's side so we went to a friend's house and had drinks. It wasn't a big deal. The second was a destination wedding - as in 3 hours away, not a flight. The church was very far from the reception hotel. Most of the gap was driving time. The guests were at a hotel between the church and reception. We drove back to our hotel. Drank the wine from our welcome bag, waited for the shuttle, then enjoyed the ride over. Also not a big deal.

I think people who make a big deal of the gap are not creative with their time and not sensitive to the fact that if someone had to put a gap in it most likely was not their first choice but because they had to for some reason or another. I see it as the equivalent of complaining at a wedding because not enough money was spent on this or that extra comfort for the guests. And that is rude. It's a FREE dinner/party/drinks. Stop your complaining.

Okay, My wedding. The only outdoor venue in driving distance to our church had only one date available. The church was already booked for the latest wedding time slot, so we had to book a 1pm ceremony. Because the venue was open to the public until 5pm, we wanted to start the party as late as possible to keep it private, and to allow us to have a late night dance party. a 2-6pm reception??? LAME. way lamer than a 2 hour time gap.

Bottom line, rude wedding guests have no idea what goes into the decisions that make a wedding so they should just relax and enjoy and stop judging and complaining. Do what works best for you. It is YOUR wedding. the number one and two people who will remember every detail of the wedding and should be the happiest are you and your groom. Your guests will only remember if they had fun, not the time gap before the fun started. If You have a hotel booked, have a shuttle available, and make sure everyone knows where the hotel bar is to wait out the time gap.

I have a 3 hr gap for mine. I tried to get a 2pm mass and 5pm cocktail but didn't work out that way. Luckily, everything is walking distance so people can go back to the hotel and relax- or even change into evening wear (that's what I always did if there was a church wedding and gap). The time goes by quickly enough

Rock on Suzanne! I hear ya....

Most people who are anti gaps are pretty closed minded and aren't willing to understand that NOT EVERY AREA IN THE COUNTRY HOSTS WEDDINGS THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-The candy bar? this used to be a strict southern thing

-Venetian table? Mostly Midwest as far as I know

-A cookie bar thing? big around philadephia

I say do what you want and is right for your guests....as for this thread??? Its soooo a troll post to stir the pot here...it hasn't been done in awhile and yet a newbie with 1 star and no profile picture decides to open up with one of the most controversial topics....THE GAP.

@Maltese What is this cookie bar?? I live in/am having my wedding in Philly and I have never heard of it! Do I need this?? haha

PS - I'm so over this thread so I hate to bump it, but I need to know! haha

Yea, my advice is please don't do it! If you decide you absolutely HAVE to (which, as a guest, I would still be peeved about), give them plenty of food to hold them over, have seating for most/all during cocktail "two-hour," and provide something for entertainment (photo booth, games, band, etc.) And expect a lot of people not to come to your ceremony. Sorry, not sorry. You're taking up someone's entire day.

Lol...Elyse, I could be wrong about the exact location or details of the cookie bar, but I'm PRETTY sure its somewhere around that area. Where there is a whole cookie bar set up that showcases the bride and grooms favorites from childhood. In the several that I have heard about its usually a close relative of either of them that makes it....we're talking 20-30 different types of cookies made in the dozens! Basically its like a candy bar but way cooler and more awesome!

I'm from Pittsburgh, and the cookie table is pretty much a standard. And it's exactly what she described. Usually, family members will bake hundreds of dozens of all different types of cookies. Most often, it's either a favor or added to a favor. Sometimes people buy them instead.

I just looked it up on Pinterest and realized that I totally went to a wedding over the summer that had this! That wedding had a gap... wish the cookies would have been available then! haha ok I'm done!

It makes for a VERY long day for your guests. Seriously, who wants to spend 12 hours between the start of the ceremony and the end of the reception? Considering that at almost every wedding I am at, half the guests can't even disconnect from their devices long enough to actually watch the ceremony.

This notion of 'its my wedding and i'll do what i want"?

Then elope.

Unless you are family if there is a gap I will only go to the reception or the ceremony not both. Just because something is common doesn't make it okay. Yes, I do realize as adults we can find things to do between the ceremony and reception, however, I don't appreciate my time being wasted. You need to be a gracious host and take your guests into consideration. If you don't want to, go elope.

Question: Do you not want to miss the cocktail hour because you want to socialize with everyone from the wedding, or do you not want to miss the cocktail hour because you want appetizers and cocktails?

Not trying to be snarky. Honest question. Because we'll be taking pictures during the cocktail hour, but staff will be bringing the wedding party apps and cocktails while pictures are being taken, so we don't miss all the goodies. So that is also an option, if that's what you're concerned about.

We are having a gap. There, I said it. Our ceremony is at 3pm, and will be over around 3:45. We need time to have a receiving line after, and then family pictures at the church. Our cocktail hour doesn't start until 6pm. In order to FILL THE GAP, we are reserving the church social hall and allowing our guests to hang out there as long as necessary. We are providing light refreshments (coffee/tea/water/cookies) and a warm place for them to sit and mingle. We are also providing a shuttle from the hotel to the reception, so this will also give people time to drive back to the hotel to park their car and catch the 5:30pm shuttle. Another reason we built in a gap is in case the weather is bad. People will need more driving time if we happen to get snow on our wedding day. I don't think a gap is the end of the world if it makes YOUR day easier, and you can find a way to fill the time for your guests. (I also have a "local activities" page on our wedding website, with ideas for ways the guests can fill their time if they're not taking the shuttle or want to hang out at the church.) Just my two-cents.

We are having a Catholic ceremony and the "gap" is very common as the church times are usually quite earlier in the afternoon/evening than the reception start times. On our wedding webiste we let people know that there would be a gap and gave very detailed directions/instructions to the reception venue along with ideas of where to grab a happy hour cocktail in the meantime. I think most people who are familiar with this gap expect this to be the case and are quite comfortable with it. For those who are not, there are tons of wine bar options near our reception that they can duck into for a few minutes to chat and grab a drink. I think it will work out fine for you, wedding guests are adults and should act as such. A gap is not a hit against them, it's simply a logistical issue that can be handled with understanding on their part--I would hope

@Em, it stops being YOUR day the minute you invite someone else.

In general, I just find it so baffling how people can treat people like shit (i.e. not taking their time into consideration, treating their friends like props or ATMs) and still expect their friends to love them because "it is their special day." stop it.