Expensive Weddings

View Quoted Comment Everything is extremely expensive now so it is very hard to try and stick to a certain budget 💯but I’m happy you have a husband that wants y’all to be able to enjoy y’all big day especially since you’re usually good with your budget ❤️

I think it’s a fairly linear perspective to assume that everyone who has a big wedding with a big diamond is trying to prove something. I think it may be a bit unreasonable to also assume that couples who did splurge are also headed towards divorce.


There are so many couples who have not spent a lot of money who have longtime marriages. And then there are others who spent a lot and also have sustainable unions as well. The through line is how mature enough are couples to put in the hard work to be married no matter the price tag of their wedding.
Our wedding and ring cost what some would consider an unreasonable fortune. But this is largely due to the number of guest we had and the fact we chose to go big due to our family overcoming some huge trials. Also and more importantly im rurally our weddings are big and grand. Even with that mine was not as grand as most.
I think people should do what they like, spend what they like and wear the ring that they like as long as they can afford it. More importantly I think you have to keep couple goals too of mind no matter how much you spend to ensure you are sustainable.

View Quoted Comment I’m not assuming, they are rhetorical responses to the survey/study that I read about so that’s why I was asking those questions 😊thanks !

I don’t know people like this, except the ones who have that kind of money to throw around. I am fine with getting married anywhere under 1k, and it IS possible, especially without a nasty blood diamond on my finger.

View Quoted Comment Yes I agree ! I’m happy I’ve met someone who’s like me 😂even if I did have the money I just don’t think an expensive wedding is a necessity IMO…but to each is own 😊

I honestly didn’t mean to have a big, “luxurious” or expensive wedding it just kind of happened. My dad has always wanted to pay for my wedding and has always told me that it’s my day and I should get whatever I want. I’m definitely privileged to have that and obviously not everyone is in the same position.
Also I like my Diamond. Lol sorry not sorry. 🤷🏽‍♀️

There are fixed costs to certain expenses in a wedding. Basic etiquette and common sense say you don't put your guests to work. You can only DIY so much yourself. That means you hire professional help. When you hire vendors to put together a big private party, it gets expensive.


Weddings are damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you cut your guest list, you offend people. No open bar, you're considered cheap and rude. No dance floor, you're boring. Most "budget" weddings that get lauded in magazines and articles are not replicatable in real life. Most people don't have a free backyard they can use, a cousin who happens to be a DJ, an aunt who bakes, or a body type where they can easily fit into a vintage hand me down dress
Given that 30k is the cost of the average wedding in the US, and I know from planning that this is for a very basic wedding, I'm surprised by that article

View Quoted Comment I definitely understand where you’re coming from 💯I’m having a destination wedding and it’s less then $5k so it’s definitely possible. It just depends on what you think is actually important or not

I’m not sure it’s always a matter of feeling the need vs just preference. I do well in my career and can afford it. I’m marrying the love of my life and want a huge party to celebrate with friends and family. We booked a venue over a year in advance to give time to save.

There are tons of things in life we could question why people spend so much money on, but I guess the point is, it’s brings them joy.

View Quoted Comment Good for you 😊that’s awesome you have a dad that was able to be such a big help for you.

View Quoted Comment Makes a lot of sense ❤️happy you’re getting the wedding of your dreams !

A $1,000 wedding is basically an elopement.

We had a medium-small wedding in a major metropolitan area, and I did everything I could to control costs without coming across as cheap to our guests. All told -- venue, food, photog, pastor, DJ, dress, alterations, transportation, hotel, hair/makeup -- it definitely cost more than $20,000.

That said, it's very foolish to take out loans for a wedding or carry a credit card balance for a wedding (unless you have a 0% APR offer and have a definite plan to pay it all back before the offer runs out).

I think each couple does what’s comfortable for them and what their vision and desires are. I do agree that some are very excessive but maybe they can afford it or have help. For example, a destination wedding out of country where guests are asked to pay for their hotel, plane tickets not to mention gift and bridal party outfits if in bridal party.


For me, this was not my first wedding and we are an older couple than probably most on here. We paid as we went and split it 50/50 and have zero debt. We put our money into the venue which was beautiful and included open bar, cocktail hour, entrees served and cake. We even told them to please put the cocktail hour on a table bc each of us do not like the running around to grab them. We also had a DJ and hired a photographer for 2 hours only bc I wanted to be inside before cocktail hour was over.
We had a gorgeous outdoor wedding and it was all Christian based songs . We wrote our own vows.
We did pay close to $20,000 but that included everything down to our gifts to others and out shoes. However, I DYI’d as much as I could because I love that stuff and I wasn’t going to pay $425 for a dinner size bouquet etc. I made all the centerpieces and flowers and made invitations, table setting placements, signs and so much more with Zazzle.
I guess my feeling is do what your comfortable with and able to afford. I know ppl who eloped and could afford a big wedding.
Best of luck!

💕❤️🙏
All DIY stuff and those are my children and husband. My boys walked me up the isle as my dad passed when I was a teenager after my daughter walked up first to the song “there was Jesus” by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton”. No wedding party. No white dress. We had first dances and had our wedding on a Sunday which saved money too. Everything was perfect. Even God gave us a sunny day when it was supposed to rain!

I would not consider my wedding to be especially large (maybe 80-100 guests), but it’s not small either. The budget .. we’ve lost track at this point, but it’s definitely not about something to prove or me wanting to be a princess or something. A good half or more of our budget is venue/food/alcohol/desserts. In order to host a certain number of people in an aesthetically pleasing location in the region I live in, it costs a certain amount. The setting/venue was very important to me as photos are the only lasting evidence of your celebration, and I wanted a beautiful location. We also want the guests to have a good time with nice food and open bar, so this costs a certain amount to be good hosts at a venue with minimal stress on us. I am very lucky that my parents are willing to pay for the majority of our wedding. If my fiancé and I were funding this ourselves, we would have been happy with a much much smaller event. I think it’s hard to generalize why one wants a “big” wedding or not - everyone has different financial circumstances, different childhood dreams, family expectations, etc. I think it’s largely a matter of if you can afford it, you probably take advantage of doing up a more expensive affair, not just to show off or prove something but just enjoy the things you want. I do think there’s a reasonable limit to where do you really need absolute top of the line things, do you really need a 5 carat diamond, to spend 15k on your videographer alone, etc - I am definitely not doing that level of extravagance, nor do I want it! But again, if one wants it and can afford it, they probably will do it.

View Quoted Comment It is very difficult 💯and it would be foolish to go into debt for a wedding💯hopefully you were able to figure it out.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely GORGEOUS!! ❤️❤️🥹your story made me tear up!! I’m so happy things worked out for you in the end ! Best of luck to you as well.

View Quoted Comment And I guess I always wondered why do people want all of that 😂some things are not necessary…but I definitely do understand what you mean💯

My husband and I both have large extended families that we're close with, and couldn't imagine celebrating without them! We also have a lot of friends that we go camping with, vacation with, and just spend our time with on the regular. It was important to both of us to have a big wedding! We had 150 total.


That being said, we both finished school and work in our respective fields, have no kids, bought our house in 2020 right before the pandemic, so we had the means for the wedding and honeymoon of our dreams! We also were fortunate that both sets of our parents wanted to help financially with our wedding.
My dad's best friend has been a DJ for over 25 years and gifted us his company's service for our wedding. We also got married on a Friday which was a little cheaper than a Saturday.
I wouldn't change anything about our day for the world, it was perfect!

View Quoted Comment It sounds like everything worked worked out perfect for the both of y’all ! That’s amazing 😻 and I wish I had close friends and family 😂😂it’s only like a handful of people we are inviting because everyone we know is weird 😂