Exes in a Wedding Party

True, I am definitely going to talk to them about it.

It will be almost two more years by the time you get married. I would hope they will be able to be together. They are adults, and I am sure if they still aren't on the best of terms, that they can be civil on your day. Our daughter's best friend is one of her BM while our son will be a GM......my son and the BM used to date in 2011 after our son graduated high school. This BM gets married tomorrow and her soon to be hubby has said he doesn't our son to walk her down the asile. I find this very silly and very immature. By the time the wedding comes around seven years will have passed.

TBH, it shouldn't matter how they feel towards each other. They should act like adults that day no matter what.

...Just don't make them walk or dance together

Eh they should be able to put their big boy pants on and be civil the couple of times they will be around each other. Honestly, they should only really be around each other for, rehearsal/dinner and the wedding.... etc. Bridal shower- just women (usually) and Bach parties are usually separated. I don't think it should be a problem. ESPECIALLY since its been 2 years.

I have a similar situation and it sucks! one of my best friends used to date one of FH's best friends for 3 years, it's been 3 years also since they broke up. It's more her that makes things weird. I've noticed recently whenever we're all together she'll make little comments, drinks too much when he's around or shows up high - how nice. Since we're 7 months out I haven't made a big deal of it yet. But when I asked her to be in it she knew he was a groomsmen and said she was fine with it. I have a feeling I have a talk with her coming that she can't act like that for our bridal events.

If I were to do it again, I would set the expectations up front with her that she needs to act like an adult... although I never thought I would have needed to :/

You should ask who you want to ask to be a BM regardless of that person's dating history. I would ask your friend to be a BM and let her make the decision about what she can and cannot handle.

If you pair up BMs and GM for walking purposes, I'd definitely make sure they aren't paired together, out if respect for both of them.

I agree that they should be able to be adults. One of my exes is my brides man. Life happens and you move on.

Thanks guys- these comments are really helpful!!!

The only situation in which I'd not want those two people in the same room is if there was an abusive history. But I'm guessing that's not the case here, so I'd agree with PP that yes, you should talk to them, but at around four years after the fact, they should be able to act decently towards one another.

As long as they aren't paired up to walk (can't imagine you'd do this), they really don't even have to acknowledge each other.

They need to suck it up for this and be adults. If you really want her as a BM I say just ask her. They really don't have to be around each other that much, just for the joint pictures. Just don't pair them up at all to walk down the aisle and you're good.

No advice but there are 3 sets of exes in our wedding party, including one couple that is in the middle of an ugly divorce right now. They've all agreed to be adults but I'm still nervous.

It's not the same thing but one of my future bridesmaids is my FH ex.

Tell him to stop asking people it is way too early for that.

Worry about that in a little over a year.

Hopefully they can adult and get over it. I had dated my friend's husband's cousin. Our breakup was not pretty by any means, but when they got married me and my ex were both asked to be in the wedding party. We put our big kid panties on and acted like adults because the day was about 2 people we both care deeply for NOT about our drama.

They need to be adult about it but you should probably wait another year or so before you even ask. Relationships change

I would ask them how they feel about it. I do agree you have plenty of time to ask your bridal party I'd say wait until around Next halloween to ask them. I am planning my wedding in September 2019 and I am not planning until next Christmas to ask my Bridal party even though I have a rough idea of who I am going to ask,

I was an MOH at my best friends wedding and my ex was best man. Bride paired us to walk together and have a dance since we walked in the ceremony together. It definitely wasn't ideal seeing as his new gf was his guest, but we handled it fine because it was our friends day and we wanted them to be happy. If they care about you there should be no problems, but maybe don't pair them together like someone else had already suggested. Good luck!

I haven't been through this personally but I think that as long as you talk to your friend about whether or not she is comfortable with that you should be okay. The bridal parties don't really have to socialize. They both attend the wedding and reception obviously but they don't have to be near each other any other time.

Hopefully they can be adults. I know that my maid of honor and my FH friend are exes and my MOH wants me to not invite his friend cause she says her new husband wants to beat him up. I told her no, they need to be adults, it ridiculous.