Excluding college friend's significant other who is a buzzkill

@Celia that's a good way to look at it. I don't need to invite someone I don't know just because they are dating a random relative, etc., but because I do actually know her and she has spent time with both me and my FH, it is likely better to err on the side of tradition and extend the invite to her as well.

@OG it is up to you on who you invite not your friends and family you don't want someone there then don't invite them it's very easy. Where is the law on this you must invite the SO. Sand to the beach is taking a girl done where where they may meet someone else. Get it together ppl.

@OP-You're really judgy, I took my flavour of the week to a friend's wedding years ago and he's my FH now.

By calling someone a "flavor of the week" you are judging them. My "flavor of the week" was my boyfriend after 2 weeks and after 2 months we moved in together. I am now 3 1/2 months short of marrying him. Being engaged or living together doesn't make ones relationship more important or more meaningful than those that aren't either of the two. Stop judging.

@OG Alecia I wholeheartedly disagree that we MUST extend plus ones to siblings just because they are our siblings. While the older ones (20, 21 and 23) are getting them, we have decided that we 100% will NOT be giving our 15/16 year siblings plus 1s.

I wouldn't go to an event my H was not invited to and he would not go if I weren't invited... that's rude... (unless it was like a guys night out or girls night out, where there is no "sand")

You can do what you want but chances are your friend will decline to attend. Not many people like attending weddings without their so and you're seriously breaking etiquette here.

@samantha I hope the next wedding your H goes to alone, he leaves his sand home.

What an incredibly disgusting and rude comment to say. As a woman, a human even you should be embarrassed to even justify things like that.

Yes

Dude they are about to move in... that isn't sand to the beach.

I'm guessing you would feel significantly differently if your fiancé- Samantha- didn't bring YOU to a wedding because he might meet someone else there.

That's just hella rude. Gross- your idea is super gross.

Yes, you should invite her.

@Future Mrs G You misunderstand my meaning. The Flavor of the Week is not in reference to the individuals I mentioned in the post. It is in general--the line has to be drawn somewhere because our venue is very small (75 max), and we have very limited spaces are 'must haves' and family are accounted for.. I understand there is a difference between an adult relationship, but I do not have to (and will not) extend a plus one to my 15 year old brother's girlfriend. In fact, said brother has had 4 girlfriends in two months, which to me is a "flavor of the week". My FH and I got engaged after only "officially" dating for 2 months (when you know, you know!), so I am surely not correlating time with strength of relationship. It is more about individual situations rather than trying to apply a blanket rule to every person on the guest list.

I have a similar situation. FH has a friend, who after so many years, is my friend now too. When I met him, he was dating a girl I really liked but then they broke up. He's been with his new girlfriend for about 2 years and I really don't like her, he's usually really funny and outgoing but when we're all out in a social gathering, he's so serious and just sits with her while she pouts. As much as I don't want to invite her because we're not technically friends, I had to suck it up and invite her because not inviting her would mean he wouldn't come and I can't picture him not being at our wedding, which ultimately is the most important thing to us.

Then cut them both if its a venue/budget issue too.. problem solved

You're little brother should get a date- 75 isn't that intimate- there should be room for him.

I had under 30 guests and I regret not giving my brother a plus on- BUT- it was really intimate and small- at 75- I'd just cut someone else that you obviously don't think that highly of- and give your immediate family a plus one.

I think you made the right call to just cut them both.

Definitely invite anyone's significant other if they are a couple at the time that invitations go out. Even if they have only been official for a day. That's proper etiquette.

Yes, there is no "must." As my wise, southern grandma once said, "we always have at least two choices, so nothing is a must. Sometimes though, that other choice is death, like in a gun point robbery. But it's still always a choice. Most of the time the other choice is not death though."

So in your case, it isn't that you "must" invite SOs. But your other option if you don't invite them is to ruin friendships/family relationships or have people talk badly about you behind your back (or to your face).

Also, about your cousin's so called "flavor of the month"- Khloe and Lamar married ONE MONTH AFTER THEY MET. So you could have a a cousin married by the time your get married, and it would be rude to not invite their then SPOUSE. That's why it is the opinion of this forum in general that you should budget for EVERYONE to have a significant other by the time you get married. If you can't afford that, cut your guest list.

If people are truly single at the time of your wedding, it is a courtesy to extend a plus 1 to VIPS especially- wedding party, family. It's nice to extend them to out of town guests too, but if you don't extend plus ones then it isn't as frowned upon. People in a relationship- any type of relationship- are NOT a plus one. They are a social unit that should (not must haha) be invited together.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! We'll leave this couple off the guest list because the fact that I am questioning it at all has shown me that I honestly don't care if he is there or not (we were very close back in the day, but are not active in one another's lives any longer).

My entire family doesn't like my sister's SO, not even my parents. However we tolerate her and Invite her because she's with my sister. It's common courtesy.

Samantha, Taking sand to the beach means, why take your SO to an event where you could hook up with someone else? That is fucking disgusting to even say or suggest. So basically you're ok with cheating??!

Also, my wedding doesn't mean I can ignore etiquette, or act like a spoilt princess and exclude people's SO, simply because it's my wedding and I don't like them.

@JoRocka I wish that were true, but my FH has 12 siblings (several married) and most of my family is married too, so our guest list truly is "intimate" with just family--not even extended family!