Ex wife wants to come to wedding

I agree! Noway! My husbands ex will not be at our wedding and the kids are in the wedding. Just like you , she has given us nothing but hell for the last 7 years. I don't trust her at all. She has never said anything to me the entire time we have been in a relationship and has talked crap about me to whomever would listen and Sunday she sends me a Happy Mothers Day text at 8am. Why am I on your mind at 8am? No thank you!

Ew, absolutely not. never. that's fucking weird. every time my FMIL or my own mom asked me about inviting someone, my first thought was "am i going to feel comfortable with them being at my wedding?" and if i didn't feel comfortable with them being there, the answer was a no. tell her no, flat out. well, have you FH tell her no, because it is HIS ex. that the two of you will not feel comfortable with her there, but you would be more than willing to accommodate her with pictures, maybe have someone video it for her, that way you don't have to sound rude. you dont want her there but you would be more than willing to make sure she sees her kids in their first wedding....just not in real time. my FH has two kids and they are both in our wedding. i couldnt even imagine her being at the wedding. that would NEVER fly with me.

Have your FH deal with it.

"Babe, just tell her that she can have all of the pictures she wants and we'll make sure to get some awesome video (if you're having a videographer) of the kids for her. Tell her that the guest list has already been accounted for."

Yeah, that's a big no.

If you, your FH AND the families don't want her there, I'm thinking the we'll go with the majority on this one.

You have NO requirement to invite her! If you guys feel awkward, weird, or just plain ol' yuck about her or her being there...don't do it. And it's only rude if you tell her no in a nasty way. And if she pulls they OKIEDOKE with 'well the kids can't be in the wedding', then call her bluff and just say OK.

I agree with the others that you should not invite her based on how you both feel about the situation. Could you blame it on limited space? I would have FH tell her that your guest list is at capacity and you both would feel more comfortable with sending her photos later on.

Is there a chance she wont let the kids come to the wedding? She sounds spiteful like that, if she is usually not very accommodating.

Hell to the NO! There is no way I would let an ex come to my wedding!

We planned our wedding on a day when I was scheduled to have them (we alternate weeks). No way would I want my ex there - that's just weird for everyone. In some cases, it might work, for the majority of us divorcees, NO. My kids asked him to attend and he just told them it would not be appropriate (he does have a shred of common sense LOL).

If none of you want her there, the answer is no. Pictures will be sufficient.

I don't buy her BS about seeing the kids in their 1st wedding, no way in Hell. She wants to be nosey & take her own photos. Next she going to ask to bring a date. Pictures will be sufficient.

Oh hell no,

No. My son's father (we never married) will be there, as will his family, but that is because we are all very close. I met FH through my ex's sister and he works for ex's mom. My ex and FH and I are all really good friends, but mostly because with the exception of having a child together, FH and I were never romantic with each other if that makes any sense lol But, FH's best friend's girlfriend isn't invited because she always tries to get FH to call off the wedding and be with her (like she sent him naked pics.... *shudders* some things I can't ever unsee...). So basically: drama llamas, whether it is baby mama or daddy or random aquaintence: Bye Bye Bye

OK my gut says HELL NO but as a Mother I sort of understand her desire to see her kids. So is there anyway that someone could meet her with the kids so that she could see them all dressed up? That would be my only compromise though. My ex is NOT invited and our son is in my wedding. My FH's ex showing up is my worst nightmare honestly.

Hell no! She probably has something up her sleeve I don't put anything past anyone. The children are not a pawn for her to move around if she doesn't get things her way. The days are over for that. It's your wedding, this is going to be your husband, and your step children. She plays no part in that and should not come to your wedding. This is not a BBQ. Ewww.

Nooooo! Tell her you are having a camera-free ceremony, so she won't be allowed to take pictures of them anyway. Tell her she can watch the video.

No. Just NO. She can see the children before or after, and you can offer her pictures of them, but it's completely inappropriate for her to be there. NO NO NO NO NO.

Thats a big no!! Just have a calm talk with her and explain that you guys would not feel comfertable with it mayve offer to have someone video tape it for her ?

No is the answer, It was rude of her to even ask. If it were me, I would have all my ducks in a row with a parenting plan for her and your fh laid out prior to getting marring. If they have a parenting plan and she is not abiding by it then you have leway with court. When my ex got married and my daughter was in his wedding, I didn't get to see her all dressed up nor did I get any photo's or a video. I am fine with it because that was with him and what he and she do together is their special time, I get my special time and he doesn't get to share that. So your fh should get his special time with his kids (no ex). The only time that both of you and your fh ex should be at the kids graduation and their wedding.

I can understand her desire to see them - she is a mom of course.....BUT how inappropriate....no way would i have an ex at a wedding......i dont think so.....promise her copies of pics or video but just say the guest list is already finalized

Hell no, what a rude lady for even asking. I would not want to go to my ex's wedding and wouldn't ever dare to ask! Politely tell her no, have FH deal with it. He should be able to tell her, look, it's not appropriate.