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Savvy April 2014

Ex wants to gift us

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Lauryn, on August 25, 2019 at 1:18 PM

So long story short, I dated this guy in college 6 years ago. He cheated on me and that’s why we split. I haven’t talked to him since then. My fiancé and I have been together for over 5 years now. Yesterday, that ex called me and left a voicemail wanting to congratulate me (twice actually) and wants to know if it’s ok with me if he could purchase something from the registry before just sending something out of the blue. I’m obviously not ok with this, I don’t want anything from him. I plan to call or text him back letting him know this isn’t appropriate. But why do you think he’s doing this?

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28 Comments

VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on August 28, 2019 at 12:26 AM
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He may be trying to assuage his guilt for his mistreatment of you.
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Beginner September 2019
Lena · on August 28, 2019 at 12:50 AM
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I would not even entertain him. No answer sends a bigger message and I feel is more respectful to your FH.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on August 28, 2019 at 1:27 AM
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Who cares what his reasoning is. My
best advice is to just ignore the call. If he really has honest feelings of happiness for you, I’m sure he could have done some googling to see where you are registered and would have sent a gift with a nice message. If you haven’t spoken to him since the break up six years ago, it is really creepy for him to contact you now. The past is in the past for a reason, leave it there.
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Savvy April 2014
Lauryn · on September 8, 2019 at 9:32 PM
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So update for everyone. About a week after the voicemail was left I texted my ex telling him to call me the next day between noon and 2:00. He did call me and I told him that I don’t appreciate him trying to walk back in my life trying and to give me a wedding gift is inappropriate. He said he understood and that was why he asked first. He thanked me for “hopping on the phone” with him and said “have a good one. Bye”. I haven’t heard from him since and my fiancé was very understanding of my feelings and supportive of my decision to stand up for myself.
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VIP September 2019
Yam · on September 8, 2019 at 9:41 PM
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Glad it got resolved!
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on September 9, 2019 at 9:08 PM
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Good!! Glad it got resolved!!
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Dedicated March 2025
Jessica · on September 9, 2019 at 9:31 PM
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Girl don’t respond to that grown azz man. He may be looking for closure or to see if there’s anything left between y’all. If you respond it means there’s feeling there. I feel like theirs a drake song about this
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Beginner September 2021
M · on September 9, 2019 at 10:02 PM
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I would just completely ignore him. And if he sends a gift anyways, send a generic thank you card WITHOUT a return address. I agree with the above posters that he could be trying to get your address. Thankfully most registries will protect that info so he shouldn’t be able to get ahold of that
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