Ex wants to gift us

To help alleviate his own guilt.

Maybe he’s trying to get your address

Bizarre indeed, especially if you’re not in contact with him. Who knows why, but tbh I wouldn’t waste too much time trying to figure that out. Just politely decline the offer, saying you both feel it is not appropriate. No need to stress it much. If he does send you something anyway, just return it and get something else.... or keep it, thank him, and move on.

So weird he comes out of the blue but maybe he’s grown now and feels guilty for what he did so I think Yam is right.

Very strange. Especially if you haven’t spoken to him in years. Maybe he feels guilty and regrets cheating.

Don’t call him back. That’s inviting a conversation and that’s not what you want. I’d either ignore or respond with “no thank you, I don’t think that’s appropriate” ...who knows what exactly his
motivation is. He’s feeling badly, he’s feeling jealous, he wants to redeem himself, he’s trying for a last ditch effort after feeling regret? Don’t know, don’t care. No one sends an “I’d like to send you a gift message” without even to some degree trying to get in your head, to open up the lines of communication, or something, even if mostly subconscious. If he really just wanted to buy you something off your registry, he could have. But that’s not what he did— he sent you a message. Ignore or keep it impersonal- “no thank you, this isn’t appropriate” and do not engage in other conversation.

I forgot to mention that he said he heard “through the grapevine” that I’m getting married. And I’ve had him blocked on Facebook since we broke up. It’s just eating away at me to know who told him about me (and I got engaged 10 months ago!). He also ended his voicemail with “hopefully I’ll talk to you soon, bye bye”

It's been 5yrs maybe he just wants to give you a present because you're getting married. 5yrs is a long time people can change if it's that big of a deal don't say anything and donate the gift once you get it.

He’s probably trying to get to you in some way, maybe just to irritate you or to get your address. Or maybe he feels that buying you something will make that item remind you of him and it’s some sort of mental/emotional irritation he wants to cause. I wouldn’t respond.

Definitely weird. Honestly I would simply text back and not cal. I would say you got his message and you don’t think it’s appropriate for him to send a gift. I would ask that he doesn’t contact you anymore and tell him you are moving in with your life. If he contacts you again I would block his number. That’s just inviting trouble into your current relationship.

It could be any number of things

Like Yam said, maybe he feels guilty and wants to gift to attempt to show his remorse
Maybe like others have said, he could not be over it, and either trying to get info or even if he's that kind of guy, trying to win you back at the last second like in the movies

I am with you, this would seriously creep me out. I personally would not even respond, being that, even if he is doing this out of kindness, with the slightest chance that his reasons might be less-than-honest, I wouldn't take that risk to see what can of worms it would open

My thoughts are that he could anonymously send you a gift from your registry. He didn't need to contact you. An old friend or acquaintance wouldn't call you and ask you if it was okay to give you a gift. I wouldn't respond. If we wants to send you a gift so badly he can. There is no reason for a discussion.

He has to know you blocked him and still chose to do this. Do not validate his behavior. Ignore him.

Ugh they always find a way to sneak back in when you’re least expecting it. Of course you don’t want a gift from him! That’s insane! Every time you use it you’ll think of him. Him reaching out is disrespectful to you and your fiancé. I’m sure he’s realizing what he missed out on and kicking not himself and trying to get back into your life (no one calls to randomly want to give you a gift, total anterior motives). He wants a response. I wouldn’t respond. But if I did I’d keep it short and sweet “you are no longer part of my life, and I’d like to keep it that way. Thanks!”

This creeps me out. I personally think hes being nosy and trying to get into your head. You said he heard it "through the grapevine". Hes obviously keeping tabs.
Tell your fh about this and i personally wouldnt respond at all. Id block his number

Don't respond. If you engage him, it will only inflate his ego

If my ex tried sending my FH and I anything I think it would make my future husband feel a big uncomfortable, just as I wouldn’t want his ex girlfriends to get us anything. I wouldn’t want anything purchased by an ex to be in our home, that’s just me though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%.

View Quoted Comment

I agree, this sounds very creepy. I wouldn't call him or text back at all

I would block his number.

I don’t think the “why” is important (that’s too much overthinking). The main thing is to let him know your decision.