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NextChapterReady
Super October 2019

Every Bride Really Needs to Read This! Please Read!

NextChapterReady, on September 16, 2019 at 3:38 PM

Posted in Community Conversations 24

I really want to share this because I feel like it has had a DRAMATIC impact on me and my wedding. I have been engaged for a year and a half. Hundred of hours have been spent trying to make this a beautiful day for FH and myself. I really wanted to not be a bridezilla and tried to always ask myself...

I really want to share this because I feel like it has had a DRAMATIC impact on me and my wedding.

I have been engaged for a year and a half. Hundred of hours have been spent trying to make this a beautiful day for FH and myself. I really wanted to not be a bridezilla and tried to always ask myself “Am I being reasonable?” “Am I realizing other people have lives too?” But sometimes things will get you down along the way. There will be weak moments where things start to affect you. For me, towards the end of the RSVP process, I got a slew of family members and close friends declining our invitations. It made me a little depressed to realize that out of the 260 people we invited, only 180 would be attending.

I am part of several facebook groups and one girl was in discussions similar to mine because she was getting married on October 19 and I’m getting married on October 12. She lives in a neighboring state. Well, I happened to see a post from her on the group a week ago and it completely shocked me. One of her dogs had knocked over a candle while she was gardening and a devastating fire occurred. She suffered major burns and had to be dragged from her apartment while trying to rescue her two dogs (one was a puppy) and her cat. She managed to pull out her two axotols and her bearded dragon, but completely burned her hands in the process. She is in a burn unit, and barely survived. She lost her best friends, has severe burns, and in addition, they lost everything in their home.

When I read this post, I cried-legitimately cried, because it felt so close to home. We have a small puppy that we baby gate in the laundry room and a fire is my worst nightmare. It actually happened to someone. I can’t imagine this kind of devastation. Horrific does not do this justice and it hurts my heart to think about it.

Needless to say, I’ve had people this week seemingly try to make me feel upset about things going wrong with our wedding. People not being able to make a bachelorette party, people saying they are leaving the wedding early, family commenting about other rsvps coming in no. And you know what? None of that can touch me. To all of it, I feel no disappointment any longer and I have to laugh at my upset over the RSVP count. Several times this week its almost as if people are telling me things, wanting me to get upset and you know what? I smile and say, that’s okay. Because I really believe that. It is okay if any of those things happen. NONE OF IT MATTERS. It is going to be a beautiful day that I will cherish forever—but most importantly, my FH and I are healthy, our family is healthy, our dog and best friend is thriving and well and alive, we have a house, and those are things that matter.

I don’t usually get emotional and I know this is a long post, but I really wanted to share this. I know you all have put so much heart and energy and love into planning this wedding and I understand disappointment, but I really wanted to let you know that in the end of the day, a bridesmaid who can’t make your bachelorette party, or a family member who rsvps for your wedding and doesn’t show up, or a family member being pushy, those things can’t change a beautiful day for you, and I for one, am going to love and cherish every moment I have with my pup and my FH and my family. I hope all of your weddings are beautiful and I hope this makes your disappointment fade away like it did mine. I hope it makes those things just a blip on the horizon. Even though I lost sight of it along the way, I'm so grateful that in the end of the day, if I am healthy, happy, and whole with those I love and I really couldn’t ask for more. Smiley heart

24 Comments

  • Akirah
    Dedicated October 2019
    Akirah ·
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    Date triplets!!!!

    This post is wonderful! Just wonderful. I too have had some sadness about people declining or needing to leave early. A friend of mine I’ve known since 7th grade has chosen to pause our friendship because I had a small bachelorette sleepover with just my bridesmaids. My brother has decided to not attend because his estranged wife will be there...we sent invites before they split...and I guess he feels uncomfortable about coming.

    These two things initially caused me much sadness and stress. But I am choosing to let go and let it be. I can’t control other people or the weather or all the other million details that may or may not impact our wedding day. So many folks would be jumping for joy to have found the love of their life and have the resources we have to plan a beautiful wedding. FH and I are truly blessed!!! I know that whoever shows up on October 12th will bring all the love FH and I need to celebrate our marriage well. I feel very grateful.

    I am so sad to hear of your acquaintance’s horrible accident. I will pray for her and her family. Life is so precious and I am glad hers has been spared. I hope she makes a full recovery. ❤️
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  • Lisa Marie
    Devoted October 2020
    Lisa Marie ·
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    Thank you for sharing!! ❤️
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  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
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    This is an amazing post and amazing thread. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend and I wish her a speedy and full recovery. What a beautiful soul.

    We are getting married on October 6th and I just had some big disappointments with my father. Thankfully I have therapy tomorrow so I’ll spare the details - but it’s pretty rough.

    You are all 100% spot on... I get to marry my best friend, my soulmate, my person. I’m so grateful to have found her, and I quit drinking and changed my life completely, and what a blessing to fund our entire wedding and have everyone we care about near us to celebrate. Life is beautiful, painful, and at the end of the day LOVE is the language of the spirit.

    I wish you all a beautiful life with your SOs, a beautiful wedding day and a beautiful marriage. ❤️
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  • Kayla
    Devoted November 2020
    Kayla ·
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    Literally crying at my desk at work because my biggest fear is losing my pup in a house fire when I'm not home. But thank you for putting this in perspective. It's too easy to get caught up in the small things and forget the bigger picture. Sending love to everyone on this tread!

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