NextChapterReady
Super October 2019

Every Bride Really Needs to Read This! Please Read!

NextChapterReady, on September 16, 2019 at 3:38 PM Posted in Community Conversations 2 24
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I really want to share this because I feel like it has had a DRAMATIC impact on me and my wedding.

I have been engaged for a year and a half. Hundred of hours have been spent trying to make this a beautiful day for FH and myself. I really wanted to not be a bridezilla and tried to always ask myself “Am I being reasonable?” “Am I realizing other people have lives too?” But sometimes things will get you down along the way. There will be weak moments where things start to affect you. For me, towards the end of the RSVP process, I got a slew of family members and close friends declining our invitations. It made me a little depressed to realize that out of the 260 people we invited, only 180 would be attending.

I am part of several facebook groups and one girl was in discussions similar to mine because she was getting married on October 19 and I’m getting married on October 12. She lives in a neighboring state. Well, I happened to see a post from her on the group a week ago and it completely shocked me. One of her dogs had knocked over a candle while she was gardening and a devastating fire occurred. She suffered major burns and had to be dragged from her apartment while trying to rescue her two dogs (one was a puppy) and her cat. She managed to pull out her two axotols and her bearded dragon, but completely burned her hands in the process. She is in a burn unit, and barely survived. She lost her best friends, has severe burns, and in addition, they lost everything in their home.

When I read this post, I cried-legitimately cried, because it felt so close to home. We have a small puppy that we baby gate in the laundry room and a fire is my worst nightmare. It actually happened to someone. I can’t imagine this kind of devastation. Horrific does not do this justice and it hurts my heart to think about it.

Needless to say, I’ve had people this week seemingly try to make me feel upset about things going wrong with our wedding. People not being able to make a bachelorette party, people saying they are leaving the wedding early, family commenting about other rsvps coming in no. And you know what? None of that can touch me. To all of it, I feel no disappointment any longer and I have to laugh at my upset over the RSVP count. Several times this week its almost as if people are telling me things, wanting me to get upset and you know what? I smile and say, that’s okay. Because I really believe that. It is okay if any of those things happen. NONE OF IT MATTERS. It is going to be a beautiful day that I will cherish forever—but most importantly, my FH and I are healthy, our family is healthy, our dog and best friend is thriving and well and alive, we have a house, and those are things that matter.

I don’t usually get emotional and I know this is a long post, but I really wanted to share this. I know you all have put so much heart and energy and love into planning this wedding and I understand disappointment, but I really wanted to let you know that in the end of the day, a bridesmaid who can’t make your bachelorette party, or a family member who rsvps for your wedding and doesn’t show up, or a family member being pushy, those things can’t change a beautiful day for you, and I for one, am going to love and cherish every moment I have with my pup and my FH and my family. I hope all of your weddings are beautiful and I hope this makes your disappointment fade away like it did mine. I hope it makes those things just a blip on the horizon. Even though I lost sight of it along the way, I'm so grateful that in the end of the day, if I am healthy, happy, and whole with those I love and I really couldn’t ask for more.

24 Comments

  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
    1. Thank you for sharing this... I think it's important to keep things in perspective.
    2. Date twins.
  • Cristy
    Rockstar May 2020
    Cristy Online ·

    Well said!! I think at times we all need to hear a story like this, just to get us out of our self-centeredness.

    It's important to stop and look around, and appreciate what we all have: a roof over our head, food in the fridge, and people who love us!!

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • Amber
    VIP February 2020
    Amber ·

    Beautiful message. It's easy for us to lose sight of what's really important in life and it's important to come back down to earth and be thankful for all we have. Thank you for sharing this!

  • Ivy ORP
    Rockstar October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·

    Thank you for providing a bit of perspective in these final weeks. I'm a date twin too! Happy planning and may it be a beautiful day!

  • Megan
    Dedicated October 2019
    Megan ·
    I think this was much needed (especially in my own planning). We are also date twins! Hope all planning is going well !
  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    You are so welcome, I was really affected by this and wanted to share! Congratulations, we are getting so close

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you, I totally agree, I was falling into that myself and I don't think it's anything malicious when we do, but I feel like I am a better person now for this shift in perspective! I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you, this girl was seriously so inspirational even after all she lost it made me a little ashamed of the importance I was placing on unimportant things. I feel so grounded now and just really happy and thankful and am so glad it has helped you as well I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    You are so welcome, it really helped me a lot and not a minute too soon--I don't want to waste a second with unimportant feelings! I hope your planning is going well and I can't wait to hear all about it!

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·

    That sounds awful! I admire her courage and love she had to rescue her sweet animals. I really hope she recovers quickly!

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I am so happy you found this helpful! It really helped me understand what was important in my life and be happy with all that I am blessed with. Congratulations on your wedding--less than a month! I'll be excited to see how your wedding turns out!

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I am so amazed at her strength and my heart goes out to her situation!

  • Mariah
    Dedicated April 2020
    Mariah ·

    My heart breaks for that girl you mentioned. Praying for her and her family!

    And you're right all of this little stuff doesn't matter one bit. As long as you're healthy, have a roof over your head, have your SO and family... that's all that matters. So we gotta count our blessings because things could always be way worse.

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    You are so right and I am hoping she is able to make a complete recovery! It really makes life that much better if you are able to appreciate it as you go along, I've realized

  • MiaPetJones
    Just Said Yes April 2020
    MiaPetJones ·
    Good post, thank you for the uplifting words. It does good stressful at times. Especially when it's people who are close to you don't show up when you need help. My sister (who was pretty upset about not being maid of Honor) has been very absent with the whole wedding planning. We were supposed to have a date so that everybody in my wedding party could meet each other and she didn't show up for it. Which made me really upset because I only have three bridesmaids. The bachelorette party is being planned on everyone else's schedule so they can attend it. I have a hunch that she won't show up anyways. she also hates driving in my wedding is an hour and 45 minutes away from her hometown. Needless to say be pretty embarrassing if she didn't show up for the wedding and she's in the bridal party.
  • Allie
    Rockstar August 2019
    Allie ·

    Agreed! I haven't had time to post my BAM yet, but absolutely NOTHING mattered on my wedding day. None of the details mattered to me at all. All I could focus on was my husband.

  • Lauren
    VIP February 2020
    Lauren Online ·

    Thanks so much for the perspective! It's so easy to get caught up in the wedding planning and obsessing over wanting things to be perfect that it's hard to step back sometimes and realize how little things are.

  • Megan
    Super November 2020
    Megan Online ·
    Thank you so much for sharing that story, and for reminding us to remember what’s important.
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
    Thank you so much for sharing this 💕 my wedding is 10/26 and up until a few weeks ago I’ve really been feeling the heat. FH and I have been stressed, and last week my grandfather passed away and I had to travel out of state for the funeral. Between that and other family stuff it’s been stressful, but I’ve realized that there’s only so much that I can control. At the end of the day I’m so elated to marry my best friend, and I know that things will fall into place eventually. Guests who couldn’t get rooms at the hotel we blocked off (because they’re fully booked that weekend) will find somewhere else to stay. The seating chart will be fine because as long as everyone has a chair it doesn’t really matter. And if it rains so what, I literally can’t control the weather. Hope your day is magical and amazing 💕
  • Marissa
    Dedicated October 2019
    Marissa ·
    Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I’ve been so upset with having so few RSVPS and then one of my bridesmaids decided she couldn’t afford to make it to the wedding but then spend a lot of money on a ring for herself. It’s so easy to be stressed and let everything overwhelm you. It’s so easy to forgot the important thing which is marrying your forever person and the love of your life. It’s so easy to let your perspective get blurred. I wish everyone the best in their wedding planning!

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