Etiquette Question: Corsage for Step-Mom?

My FH's daughter just got engaged over Christmas. I've known her for two years and like her quite a bit. I even had her come with me when I went wedding dress shopping. She's initially thinking an August wedding...by then her dad and I will be married. Would I expect a corsage at her wedding? No. I'm not her Mom, but do consider her a friend. Would I be honored if she got me one? Yes.

FH's dad has been with his SO for 33 years, but never married. FH initially didn't want to get her a corsage. I talked him into it. He lived with them some during high school before moving in with his grandparents. He does not look at her as a step-mom or any type of role model/parental figure. However, she is the type of person who would be ugly & hateful if she didn't get one. Especially since we are doing a bout for my mom's SO of 22 years (but he is videoing the ceremony for us). It's just easier to keep the peace & give her one (though she is not getting the Origami Owl locket that the moms are getting to go on theirs).

Don't think about the family drama, but what is the right thing to do? This is the FFIL's wife. I personally think as they are married, she should have one, even if it's a smaller one.

Since they are married, I would consider the Step-Mom part of the family. I don't think your Father's girlfriend should get one unless she has been a long-term girlfriend that you consider family. I would talk to your FH and see what he thinks.

I am getting FH's StepMom one because she has been married to FFIL for a long time, and she is amazing!

Thanks for all the advice! I typed fathers girlfriend and meant to delete that part. Thanks again!

I hate corsages anyway.

I think as his fathers wife, get her a corsage. I think many brides overthink this and it's just a nice thing to do. I think it is better to just include everyone and it makes it all more festive!

I plan on getting flowers for my FSMIL and a bout for my my FSFIL. I probably wouldn't get one for the girlfriend though.

Corsages are really intended to identify and honor the female VIPs. We've gone through the mother and step-mother issues before. Generally, we make a larger, more detailed piece for the mother while the step-mother gets a smaller, coordinating, but far less elaborate piece. It kind of solves any potential problems because only the mother gets the visibly superior piece, but the other ladies cannot claim they were overlooked.

Centerpiece I love that idea & will probably use it myself. My mom & my step mom will both be at my wedding & I had planned on giving them both corsages. So I would lean towards giving your FSMIL one as well.

Could you do something else, in addition to give your FMIL a sense of extra attention. For instance, my mom will likely be there to help me put on my dress & in the getting ready pictures, but my stepmother won't be. (Stepmom is relatively new in our family. She and my dad have been married for 4 years.) Your FMIL can of course get the mother/son dance and FSMIL doesn't have to be involved in that.

@Centerpiece - excellent solution!

We got the mothers a wrist thing and we got his dad's wife a pin-on one.

@Centerpiece, ooohhhh I like that idea so much! I think we will go with that, well I'll tell FH and see what he says! Thanks again ladies!

I would definitely get one for the step mom but I think it's up to you for dad's gf. How long have they been together?

And, on a related note-- have whoever picks up your flowers the *count* the bouts and corsages. My sister was in a wedding where they were shorted one, they shorted us one at my wedding, and I've read of others on here-- it seems more than a coincidence. So, tell the person picking them how many there should be and ask that person to count.