Etiquette for small intimate wedding

Yes. It's rude.

Do not invite anyone to any pre-wedding stuff that isn't invited to the wedding.

You shouldn't have a shower with guests that won't be invited to your wedding. It's one of the trade offs for a small ceremony.

It's rude to invite people to pre-wedding events that aren't going to be invited to the wedding. Any shower guest has to be on your wedding guest list.

Yep. That would be rude. It's totally fine to do a small wedding and the size sounds lovely, but don't invite people to a shower etc if they aren't coming to the wedding. Regardless of your intentions, it just looks gift grabby.

That's what I thought! But I'm a huge newbie with this stuff so wanted to make sure!!!!

I'm having a similar wedding with only immediate family. We are not doing a shower, making a registry, nor asking for gifts. To me and FH, it is rude to ask when we're not giving anything in return (a reception), and we don't want anything.

I am, however, having an engagement party, and I am aware that some people that are coming will be bringing gifts.

But for elopements and intimate weddings, you shouldn't be *asking* for gifts by doing the registry/shower.

Your wedding sounds beautiful! But, yes, that would be rude.

I'm not a gift grabby person lol, so I'm glad I made sure beforehand! Plus we already live together and don't really need much of anything! But then I also wonder about a bachelorette party??

@Rebecca...kuddos on being so receptive to the feedback! I'm sure your intimate wedding will be lovely.

ETA: I think a bachelorette party is a bit different. It's more of an excuse to get together with your closest friends and not necessarily a gift-giving party. If a friend wants to host one, I don't see any problem with that.

Bachelor/ette parties are different. Those are activities, no gifts involved (like an e-party). So if a family member or close friend wants to throw you one, that's great. But you shouldn't throw one yourself or ask for one.

What do you wonder about the bachelorette party? That is something that your bridesmaids/friends throw for you. The party is the gift to you, so they don't bring you anything. You can get small gifts for the main hostesses, but otherwise no gifts are required at a bachelorette.

Good for you for asking Rebecca. Hope you stick around.

I'm no expert on this matter so I cannot help, I apologize, but I gotta know, do you reside in New York? (I live close to the falls so just curious.)

Sam, no we live in northeast Ohio....so the falls are perfect, because it's only a 4 hour drive and I'm a huge nature nerd (I'm a physical geographer) so the backdrop is going to be perfect!!!!!

I was at a shower once where there were people who weren't invited to the wedding present and it was SUPER awkward for everyone. I didn't feel comfortable even talking about the wedding (which was two weeks later). Don't do it.

Hi Rebecca! Make sure to upload a picture for your avatar (instead of the default icons) so that we can get to know you and tell you apart from all the other posters.

Definitely worth asking/checking To echo what everyone else has said - all guests who are invited to any pre-wedding events (showers, bachelor/ette parties, engagement parties, etc.) need to be invited to the wedding!

I agree with everyone else, it's rude to invite people to pre-wedding events and not to the wedding.

Hi welcome to WW! I live very close to the falls, and work in Niagara Falls!

Can I ask where you getting married there/ having the reception?? The falls are so gorgeous! If you get a hotel room at the casino, you get huge Windows, a falls view, and a jacuzzi, it might be something to consider!

Hi Emily! I have my wedding booked with the Falls Wedding Chapel, and so far the planner has been great! They have awesome reviews and the price is totally right for us! http://fallswedding.com/

Checked out their reviews on here and everyone has loved them! I was checking out rooms at the casino and they were amazing! However, they were $400/night for the jacuzzi suite and I'm so frugal I just couldn't do it. Our room is less than half that price and is a jacuzzi suite, we get a discount plus a free night through our wedding service because they partner with the hotel. But the casino would be sooooooo awesome! Oh well, if we save enough the honeymoon will be even more fabulous!

We are not planning a traditional reception, just going to get maybe a private room at a restaurant for our group for dinner after the ceremony. I'm trying so hard to make this thing nice but affordable! I have people telling me "Oh go to this museum, it was reasonable at only $10K!" Ummm, nope right now that is totally not reasonable for us! This one is going to be nice and all for under $2K!