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Dedicated April 2016

Etiquette for small ceremony/larger reception?

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Anon1, on May 23, 2015 at 11:51 PM

My fiance wants a small ceremony ("intimate" he says) and to then have more people come later for the reception. Here's the thing, though. Even if we did that, it wouldn't be just family at the ceremony - we'd want close friends there, too. Of course I'd love an intimate ceremony, but it would be...

My fiance wants a small ceremony ("intimate" he says) and to then have more people come later for the reception.

Here's the thing, though. Even if we did that, it wouldn't be just family at the ceremony - we'd want close friends there, too. Of course I'd love an intimate ceremony, but it would be small (under 150) even if we invited everyone to both, so I don't get what the big deal is.

Personally, I think it's rude and will cause more drama than it's worth. How do you go about dividing your friends/family? "Hey, I like you and want to party with you, but I don't like you enough to have you share in the actually important part" ??!!

Thoughts? How would you react if you, as a guest, were invited to the reception but not the ceremony?

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24 Comments

Dedicated June 2019
Ashley · on January 14, 2019 at 2:38 PM
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You could make separate invitations, one for people who are invited to both and another for people who are only invited to the reception. I've noticed that less people (especially friends) go to the ceremony and then make it to the reception. Personally I wouldn't do that because I say the more the merrier.
Overall, its your guys' day and do whatever makes you happy!
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Just Said Yes May 2020
Justine · on March 22, 2019 at 11:24 PM
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I need advice. I have a huge family 150-175 alone. I was thinking of just doing a small ceremony about 22 people (parents, grandparents, godparents and two of our closest friends by our sides) then either later that day or about a month later have a party to celebrate our marriage with everyone. Do you think my family will be upset they aren’t invited to the actual wedding? Is it appropriate to celebrate this way? I just don’t want a large ceremony but want to be able to celebrate with everyone. Please share advice???
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Just Said Yes April 2020
Sydney · on May 11, 2019 at 10:44 AM
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Justine, that is exactly what we are doing. My grandma is one of the most important people in my life but there are issues between her and my extended family. It would crush me if she was not there for my ceremony - so we're having a very intimate ceremony that she will attend, then a large reception the same-day where we invite extended family and friends. This to me would avoid all drama - I've discussed the idea with our friends and they are happy about it. Ceremonies are the part that most guests endure instead of enjoy, anyway. We are having a videographer at the ceremony and we'll be playing it back at the reception for those who do want to see the ceremony. We're not asking for gifts - we've lived together for 3 years and have everything we need. We just want everyone to be happy and comfortable
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Kasha · on July 24, 2019 at 7:50 PM
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My fiancé wants to go to the court house just us but I can’t seem to feel comfortable with the idea.
If we have a regular wedding everything would be left to me he’d just agree on what I like idk I just don’t feel like I’m the court house type.
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