Etiquette for not inviting young children?

Personally, I think it’s better to have no kids than to cut off at an age, especially if there are a lot of families with multiple kids where some would be invited and others wouldn’t. Are there any kids you do want to invite? If not, I’d make it an 18+ or 21+ event and just not include them at all.

When you figure it out, let me know. I wanted to make it no kids but then I realized everyone that would normally babysit would also be invited and so most likely no one would come. On top of that, my daughter would be feeling lonely as well. We ended up inviting only the closest aunts/uncles and cousins..which weren't many because I haven't spoken to the others in a long time.

We’re saying no one 18 or younger

We are having no kids outside the bridal party except my youngest cousin who will be coming with my uncle from far away. Might be a know your crowd thing. I would suggest adult only like 18+

My fiance's daughter will be 15 and my sister will be 14. Maybe no one under 12?

The minimum age for my wedding is 18. We just put on the invitation "the bride and the groom request that all guests be age 18 or older"

I think it's perfectly acceptable to have an age cutoff. It just has to make sense. For instance, for the younger kids, I'd say cutoff at 10+ because under that age is arguably more work for parents. My cutoff is 18+.

In general the age limit is considered being rude unless the venue has an age limit (winery) or it's somewhere genuinely unsafe (yatch), also "babes in arms" (ie newborns) are often the exception to these rules so you will likely have someone inquire about that.
I will suggest to you having 18+ or 21+ as your age cut offs or none at all. You will always make someone upset by doing this and be prepared for people to not come over it.

Setting an age limit is going to cause unnecessary drama. Good alternatives would be having no children at all or inviting in circles. It's completely fine to only invite the children of your immediate family and no other kids. What's not okay is inviting someone's 13 year old child and excluding their 12 year old. This is why age limits aren't the best option. Keep in mind that babies are typically the exception to the "no children" rule as they quite literally can't be away from their mothers in many cases. If you choose not to allow nursing infants, I would prepare for the parents to decline your invitation as well.

I opted to ask my guests to not bring their children at all. Yes it was harsh and definitely seemed to cause a little rift but overall, we were happy with the decision. It’s about you and your partner so don’t worry about what anyone says.

I have this same problem and even have some of my cousin's kids with kids now. If I were to invite everyone my list would be almost doubled. We decided that instead of a cutoff age that we were going to invite in circles. So aunts and uncles and direct cousins but not any cousins kids. This way we will still have a few kids (FH's first cousins) but it cuts our list without offending anyone.

Ran into this myself. But, due to the venue I was able to escape with NOT being the “bad guy” by saying “Due to our wedding being at a casino we regret to inform you that no one under 18yo is permitted.”
Did this stop FMIL from questioning why my FBIL 17.5yo Daughter was going to be there, and the 4 in Wedding party? No. She was pissy because I was not going to take her sisters hellion 8 16yo and under kids and add them to the list! These kids actively are breaking items, screaming and running around during a funeral & 50th Birthday Party.,. Not to mention we want to have these spots open for Adults whom my FH, & I, WANT there. I simply told her the 4 are IN the wedding- 3 in one family and then the other, and the one girl is almost 18- her brother is coming and I won’t uninvite one person who’s Very mature and respectful who’s brother and dad will be there- especially when she’s just shy of 18, not like she’s 15!

This will ruffle feathers, but then its your wedding. You can do whatever you want.
My suggestion would be if you select a cut off age, lets say 12, stick with it. Then simple send invitations to the parents and children of those ages. Meaning you address the envelop to them as well.
For example Mr and Mrs John Doe and Master X. Doe.

Definitely do either 18+ or 21+. It’s fairly common for kids not to be invited, so don’t feel bad about it. I wanted to do 21+, but one of my closest cousins is only going to be 20, so 18+ it is for me.

It is not at all rude to ask. My brother and sister in-law had this problem. My mom hounded them about having children at the wedding and eventually they changed up their entire plan to accommodate children. Most of our cousins were atleast 10 years old at the time, but they were not happy. Set an age limit and stick to your guns about it no matter how much someone might hound you about having children at the wedding. It’s your wedding, plan it how you want to plan it.

We addressed our invitations to the adults (and one teenage niece) specifically. On our wedding website we wrote..." In order to have the opportunity to celebrate with as many of our loved ones as possible we are asking that only those listed on the invitation attend." Most people understand child free weddings, but keep in mind that nursing babies are considered the exception.

We did adults. Just address the invite to whose invited, not &family. We didnt even invite our nieces and nephews, we have 13 of them! I've been to weddings where the only kids are the kids in the wedding party, the couples own kids, and sometimes they invite only immediate family kids, like nieces and nephews (usually there's only a few). So basically they invite in circles. Which it completely fine.

I would do no kids, or kids in circles like bridal party kids only, or immediate family kids only. That way nobody’s feelings get hurt. If doing an age limit, I would do 18 & up, unless that splits up some families. We are keeping it to immediate family kids only and that is just my 18 month old nephew who is the ring bearer and he will be taken home after the ceremony as per my sister’s request.

The only kids allowed at my wedding are my son and my twin sisters daughter. They are 1 and 2. I've had people ask if they can bring their kids and I said no because the idea of their 10yr old screaming and running into stuff and people puts me on edge. My son and niece are really well behaved despite being babies

“Under a certain age” is where the trouble starts regarding ruffling feathers. If my cousin’s 12 year old can come but my 10 year old can’t, I’m not going to be thrilled.

I think kids are best kept in circles. I have a similar cousin situation as you (20, ALL married, all with at *least* 2 children), and while I love my cousins, I have little to no relationship with their kids. We went totally kid free entirely, but, I also would’ve felt okay drawing a line there and not including that “circle”