Estranged Besties

Wait until your wedding is 6-8 months out. A lot can change in the next year and a half.

Too soon to be deciding on bridal party.

I feel your pain. I am only doing a reception (eloping alone with FH) but my bestie for the last 16 years will likely not be there. I have extended the olive branch and can only hope it will be received. If not, I will invite her regardless. Only she can decide if she wants to be there, but at least I will know that I did all that I could.

Its a great time for you to try and reach out to her again and try to mend it. However asking to be a BP is way too soon.

Maybe if you reconnect now it will help your chances of her saying yes when its time.

My childhood bff since Kindergarten and I are estranged as well. Fell out sometime in college. Haven't talked to her in years. She's not invited.

The bridesmaids that I have decided on are my absolute best friend in the world and my sister... I am not a super young bride... Believe me these are relationships that are going anywhere in the next year...

There's no point at all in fixing a bridal party into place now though. There's no rush and dresses just don't take that long to order. You wrote to her; see if she writes back. If she does, see how the relationship develops. You'll need a few months to see how things go.

You have no reason to ask now and a very good reason to wait.

I understand that you think your relationships aren't going to change anytime soon but we have seen far too many brides ask too early and then have fall outs with not only their friends but also family. I strongly urge you to wait until 6-8 months out.

There is no harm in waiting but there could be a lot of harm in asking now.

I agree with others that you want to wait to ask your bridal party.

That said, I asked my girls way too early, 2 of them were estranged best friends. Both of them agreed to be in the wedding and they are way more dependable than 3 of our 5 picks for groomsmen. I honestly expected it to be the other way around. We had no worries at all about the men, but have severed friendships with 3 of them since our engagement.

One of my girls is even coming back from a year long stay in Europe to be in the wedding!

You definitely have some time to reach out and rekindle the friendship. Take it one day at a time! Revisit where your relationship is at the end of the year. Good luck!

I agree with all the advice you've received so far about waiting to ask your entire BP. There's no logistical reason to ask until you are well under a year away. Wait until you're much closer. On the off chance your friendship with one of these very special ladies does change, you won't be stuck with a BM you wish you hadn't asked. Really, most people who come on here complaining about a WP member after asking too early says it was a friend they had known forever and they were 100% confident their friendships would not change over the course of a year and a half.

Waiting to ask your whole BP will also give you lots of time to really work on rekindling your friendship with this old friend. By the time it's actually necessary and appropriate to ask everyone, you'll have a better idea where your friendship is and you'll know whether you even want this old friend to be a BM. You'll know of the friendship is there, yet, or not.

Yeah definitely wait. I asked too early and I'm not really regretting one of my choices, but now it just seems silly that this one girl who was my college roommate is in my BP because we don't talk anymore and I haven't seen her since we moved out of our apartment. If I had waited I probably would have just invited her as a guest and asked another friend who I actually talk to all the time and who is helping me out with planning and stress and everything.