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Expert October 2020

Engagement photos and party

Natalia, on June 13, 2019 at 2:44 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 12
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I'm not sure if this is the correct forum for this, however, my question is about engagement photos and a party.

Are they necessary to have? I got engaged two months ago when my fiancé and I visited Iceland. We have not thought about photos, really, we just announced it to Facebook and to other family via word of mouth. Is this something that has to be done or could that be overlooked?

Also, my MOH keeps telling me to have an engagement party, because it means more presents (which does not really mean much to me). Is that something has should be done, also? I don't want to pay for 80+ people to go out, since I am paying quite a bit for the wedding itself.

I definitely nee some advice, I don't even know what to think at this point.


Latest activity by Meghan, on June 13, 2019 at 6:52 PM
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    You don't have to do any of those things if you don't want to.

    We did an engagement shoot with our photographer because it was included in the package. It is a good way to get to know your photographer and their style. Some people use the photos from the shoot on their save the date or website.

    I wouldn't bet on an engagement party for gifts. Traditionally it's not a gift giving event. Most couples don't even have a registry at the time of an engagement party. Some people might give cash but it will definitely cost you more to throw a party. Also etiquette wise you aren't supposed to throw yourself an engagement party. If you MOH wants to throw on for you then sure, go for it.

    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted September 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    We didn't have an engagement party, and the only reason we had engagement pics taken was because our photographer offered them for free with our wedding package. I'm glad we did them and they turned out really wonderfully, but by no means are they necessary. We did use one of the images on our wedding website, though, which our guests can use to RSVP, find hotel info, etc.

    If we had done an engagement party, it just would have been a simple backyard cookout.

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Super October 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    Agreed - they're certainly not necessary. Our engagement shoot was also included in our photographer's package, and I liked having professional photos to use for our Save The Dates. As for an engagement party, we had one in lieu of a bridal shower - my mom offered to throw us whichever we wanted. We ended up going to a smallish local brewery that would reserve us tables for free, and provided snacks (a charcuterie spread with meats, cheeses, crackers, baguettes, and fruit, and cookies) and non-alcoholic drinks. Beer was available for everyone to purchase as they liked, and it was a super low key celebration.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    Engagement photos and party are not necessary. they're cute to have though i guess to commemorate the fact you're engaged but for wedding things there are always going to be so many photos and parties that you can pick and choose which ones you want.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We didn't have one! I didn't really think we needed one, and no one offered to throw one. We had bachelor/bachelorette parties & I had a bridal shower. If someone wants to throw you one, I wouldn't turn it down! We announced our engagement to close friends & family in person or on the phone, then on social media after. When we go to engagement parties, we typically gift champagne. If it's a close friend I may order something personalized with her new last name or something that says "bride" or a picture frame or wedding planning book but we never spend a ton since we will for shower/wedding.

    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Our photo package came with the option to add engagement photos for a nominal fee.

    I opted for them for a few reasons:
    1) working with our photographer and gaining some familiarity
    2) fiance and I are sometimes super awkward, getting comfortable with the photographer and being photographed before the wedding instead of the day of might help our photos turn out better
    3) we have no professional photos together
    4) I wanted some photos to use on our wedding website and save the dates

    We are skipping the engagement party. But only because we can throw ourselves a housewarming party instead. We're also only inviting like 30ish people.
    • Reply
  • Robert
    Dedicated October 2021
    Robert ·
    • Flag

    My fiance and I aren't having any engagement photos, parties, showers or anything. So not at all necessary, if you don't want it!

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Expert October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    We didn’t do a party, and we’re doing our engagement photos a year after getting engaged. We planned 2 years out, and it just kinda worked out that way. I’m also skipping the bridal shower. We’ve been living together for a few years now, and we’re not materialistic people. I have a friend that got engaged a few months before be, and threw a party just to have a party. No presents, just a gathering.

    Long story short: you do you boo boo 😘
    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar January 2022
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    Nope. Not really necessary. We're getting engagement photos done cause we want to. I had an engagement party only cause my mom really wanted us to have one. My mom confessed that the minute after my fiance asked her permission, she immediately started an engagement party list. We never cared to have one, let alone had the time to even think of one but when we got back from a cruise with my fiance's parents, it's like we almost didn't have a choice. She was way too excited so we caved lol.

    • Reply
  • Haley
    Expert October 2020
    Haley ·
    • Flag

    We decided to have an engagement dinner so our families could meet each other for the first time. We didn't get gifts or expect anyone to get us any. We got a few cards though.

    I asked my grandma and mom to organize it and then I felt like they weren't moving fast enough so I just bought invitations and sent them out myself. We had it at a restaurant and I was able to make a custom menu. My aunt paid for it (thankful for this, otherwise my grandparents and parents were going to split the cost).

    We only invited our immediate families to the dinner. Parents, Siblings, Grandparents, and my grandmas twin because they go everywhere together.

    We decided to do engagement pictures because we are using those pics for the STD and invitation. Also it gave us a chance to meet and "interview" a photographer and we really liked her so we booked her for our wedding! I highly recommend doing this instead of booking someone for your wedding and then regretting it because you don't like the pictures or they don't deliver what they promised. At least if you've done engagement pics, you'll know what to expect.

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Dedicated October 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    Neither are necessary at all! I also think an engagement party would typically be thrown by someone else in honor of you, not necessarily something you’d set up for yourself (I could be wrong here though...) - my understand also is that gifts are not the norm at engagement affair (especially if you are thyroxine it for yourself). Engagement photos have some benefits - practice posing, get to know your photog, have nice photos for your STD and wedding website, etc. but no harm done if you skip them!
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    Neither are mandatory. We opted for engagement photos because we did not have professional photos together and we used them for our save the dates. I’m so glad we did because I absolutely love our engagement photos!
    As far as an engagement party... if your mom want you to have one then she should plan it and pay for it. You don’t plan and pay for your own party. They are very much like showers, except no gifts. But they should be thrown for you by someone as a congratulatory party.
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