Engagement party that is a surprise wedding

I was on active duty for 26 years and I disagree with this. Parties were parties. I would be worried about those who decided to skip the e party for whatever reason, but would have made every effort to attend your wedding. I place family first (because I missed out on a lot!) and if a family function was going on, I would most likely miss an e party. A wedding would be a totally different deal for me.

While I don't see anything wrong with it, I don't understand how you would have more people there. If I got an invitation to an engagement party and had other commitments I would decline. But if it was the WEDDING of someone close to me, I might try harder to rearrange my schedule.

I wouldn't put registry information on the card if you're the ones hosting.

As for the bachelorette party, I don't think it would be rude or a bad idea, but it's highly likely no one will plan one for you without an actual wedding date announced.

Overall, I don't think it's a bad idea, but maybe harder logistics than you think.

I have similar thoughts to other posters - there is no way you can do a bachelortte party beforehand without giving it away. I think you can maybe do something after? But then thats not exactly the same.

For gifts - I would register and then when people ask you can tell them. Most guests can find them online by searching for your names + registry. You wouldn't get anything until after the e-party/wedding.

Personally - I am very much an introvert, but I almost always attend any wedding related event for my friends. If you have any VIP guests that you think might decline, strongly encourage them to attend the party. If you have to - tell them the plan but to keep their mouths shut.

My FH cousin did this a few years ago... they had a big engagement party at an outdoor pavilion with a BBQ food truck and open bar, dj and lawn games, etc. that turned out to be a surprise wedding. It was absolutely so much fun and I loved the spontaneity of it. As others mentioned, out of town guests may skip it. Also, I wouldn't put any registry info on the invitation. The few engagement parties I have been to, I did bring a gift (although not necessarily as much as I would have spent on a wedding gift).