Engagement party invitation wording

I read on here before that you're not supposed to host your own engagement party. If you have an E-party, all invitees must also get invited to the wedding.

Just have a housewarming party.

Agree with PP!

Don't host your own engagement party. It's tacky.

You don't need to imply that people can come and go as they want. They're adults and will do so anyway.

I wouldn't host two parties in one. CoffenColor said, whoever is invited to the engagement party gets invited to the wedding. So that could be a lot especially if it's just a casual brunch. I've also read that most engagement parties are just for the BP and families for everyone to get to know each other.

So as far as the wording for having people drop by say you are having an open house from start-end times that implies they do not have to stay the whole time or show up when it just starts.

I agree with others about not hosting your own engagement party.

Weird, nobody I've talked to in person about this has said anything about it being my family's responsibility to host the engagement party! Nobody I know is super traditional though. About coming and going, my family is just obsessive about punctuality so that's the only reason I don't want them to feel like they have to get there immediately when it starts. Thanks for your opinions! I appreciate it.

It's a little odd when people have housewarming parties for apartments.

The reason that it's considered rude to have your own engagement party is that you shouldn't be throwing parties in your own honour. It comes off as attention seeking.

It's no-ones responsibility to throw you an engagement party. If someone offers great, if not, you don't get one.

I think if you're excited about your new place and you want to show it off, there's nothing wrong with it. Unless you move like every year or something! Also, reading these comments, I think I've come to the conclusion to not call it a house warming party at all. Just to make it simpler. I do want it to be at our new place though because we are super excited about it! I'll probably be chatting with my family about the hosting thing.

^ agreed with Jacks, not having an E-party isn't the end of the world. It's really just would be for family to be introduced if anything, so just host the housewarming if you are so inclined. If people congratulate you on the engagement, yay, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it.

It's weird if you want to share your excitement with everyone? I didn't really think of it as throwing a party in my own honor. Just want to hang out with family and friends and be happy about it with mimosas. I guess I get why it would be tacky for some people though!

Have a house warming party. Don't throw your own engagement party. It's not proper etiquette

and also don't tell people to only come for x amount of time. I would think that was rude and be concerned about putting u out and probably not come. Just say "you are welcome to drop by anytime between x and y"

Call it an "open house" maybe? That way it seems like there is not a specific time to arrive

Well obviously I wouldn't say "only stay for an hour" haha. What you said it's exactly what I meant. Open house is the term I was looking for! Thank you. I read a little more about hosting your own engagement party and I'm going to agree to disagree on whether it's okay. I think if you have the right intentions of just wanting to celebrate a big thing happening in your life, you're supplying all the food, don't have any congratulations signs, not ask for gifts etc it's nice! Plus everyone's circle of family and friends are all different, mine will not think twice about it. This was initially about the best way to word invitations though so I'm not going to reply to anyone else saying I shouldn't do it. Right now where I'm at is "Celebrate our engagement with us at our open house!"

Plus my wedding isn't for another year and a half. That's a long time to wait to get everyone together and have a party!

Sarah, you can choose to do what you want. Thanks for being so open minded. Just know this forum is a place for people to give you tips on etiquette and hosting the best wedding possible.

I do not think this is a good idea. Do not throw a party where you can not fit all the people you are inviting in your apartment. You are not supposed to throw your own engagement party because it looks like you are fishing for gifts. It especially looks like this if you suggest only staying an hour. I would state on the invitation "no gifts". I do not like when adults throw themselves parties looking for a gift. If someone wants to give you something they will.

It will be a bit weird to celebrate an engagement without inviting them to the wedding.

Why not just have a housewarming party on your own?

Engagement party can come later and someone else can host it. Otherwise just announce it to those you will invite to the wedding privately.

As I said before, I'm not looking to literally tell people that they can only be there for an hour. And of course I will be stating very clearly that we do not want gifts! That I can absolutely agree with. Everyone we're inviting will be at the wedding, I'm sure of that. Everyone will be able to fit in the apartment just fine, it's more a matter of actually being able to spend time with each guest. I worded that wrong! Saying open house sounds like the best way to let everyone know they're welcome to be there however long they want but I'm not expecting anyone there right when it starts or to stay the whole time.

@Miami2 and @Sarah

Actually writing "no gifts" on an invitation is just as bad an etiquette faux pas as putting registry information in the invite. Saying you don't want gifts impliedly means you would expect them otherwise.