Engagement Party Etiquette

I think it's up to you, but I personally would bring a card congratulating them! I've never heard of bringing a gift to an engagement party besides some wine and a card. I think its a bit weird they asked for donations.

People give gifts for engagement parties too?

People actually have engagement parties? Must not be a popular thing in my circle of friends never heard of one for someone I know who is getting married.

Definitely up to you. I would bring a card and a bottle of wine.

I would recommend bringing a card even though you will be donating to charity.

Why should you be forced to give to a charity? What if you don't like that charity? This may be a UO but I don't like this.

That's a first I've never heard before. I personally would still bring a card...but I'm still one of the only friends that actually sends birthday cards and Christmas cards.

The etiquette articles I read said gifts are not required or expected for engagement parties. I still received a few at mine, so I thanked them and sent a thank you card.

Never been to an engagement party and didn't realize giving gifts was a thing. Geez. I would just bring a card and call it a day.

I would bring a card and a bottle of wine or a gift card for a restaurant, and a movie due to them probably not having too many date nights with planning a wedding.

At least they're asking you to donate to a charity and not their wedding. Yes, that happens. I would know because I have to go to an engagement party like this in a few weeks. I'm salty AF in case you couldn't tell.

I don't know that I would be bringing a gift to an engagement party, even if it's a donation to a charity. I would save that for the wedding gift. I didn't know gifts were a thing either at engagement parties.

@ GymRat they are very religious and the nicest people but I don’t usually understand religious methods.. sooo I just roll with it lol

I think they are anticipating a lot of family/friends gifting and being generous (which is probably correct). So, they are trying to give back rather than receive. I know that it comes from a genuine mindset and don’t mind donating. I just wasn’t sure if we should still show up with something or if that would be rude since they asked for the alternative.

Thanks for all the thoughts! Very much appreciated!

I think it's pretty presumptuous that you'd even bring a gift of any sort to the party even a donation to a charity you may or may not support.

I'd bring a nice card and call it a day.

I wouldn't bring a gift or donate. Engagement parties aren't gift-giving events. Of course, people may choose to give a gift (FH and I received a few for our engagement, but we consider them early wedding gifts and hope these people don't feel obligated to buy anything more for us), but it's not expected or necessary. I think it's strange that they requested donations in lieu of gifts, as a gift should never have even been mentioned. If you were planning to give something, donate since that's what they'd prefer, but don't feel obligated to do anything at all.

To answer your actual question: A card with a sweet note is always nice and appreciated.

I would bring a card of congratulations. That's just me though

Reading these comments makes me feel better about holding my own e-party. FH and I don't want gifts and are not asking for gifts/money. Certain people have insisted we need a registry or honeyfund for the e-party, but I didn't think it was a gift giving event either and felt really uncomfortable with the idea. Now at least I have some reasoning to back me up when it comes up again!