Engaged but don't have ring yet

@matadc I actually have thought about it, but I'll just wait for the real ring. I'll clarify that I do want a ring, I'm just willing to plan other things while he saves to get it and officially proposes how he wants to. Just wish that my friends would be more excited for me. I told them I wouldn't talk about planning it any more. A lot of them have been married recently and I've been nothing but excited for them and supportive of whatever they did. So It bummed me out when they jumped on me about waiting for the stupid ring. And all the concerns were stupid things like "don't you want an engagement party or the proposal story" nothing that was important to having a healthy marriage.

The proposal is a big deal, however, I know how you feel. You know how you feel about each other. Make your plans and don't let negative comments bring you down. I just got my ring this week and it is hard planning a wedding when your hand is empty but I didn't let it take away from my experience and you shouldn't either. Good luck with your wedding and congratulations.

I just read your last post. I wanted the engagement story but was willing to wait until he could do the proposal his way and surprise me. Waiting for my ring was hard, especially since I knew it was coming, but I'm glad I did and I have had fun planning. We all have to travel our own path and write our own story and yours will be just as special because it is yours.

You are engaged so to say he will propose is throwing people off I think. If having a ring is important to you and him why not get a pretty one that isn't diamond now and upgrade later? I have a child and other things were more important than the expensive ring so my fiance got me the ring I love that was under $200. Got it from jeulia.com. but if it doesn't matter to yall at all just tell them you are engaged and the ring will come in time.

I had a promise ring and we started planning. After losing weight I lost my promise ring in his car and now go ring-less. People are just weird about things, tell them to suck it. You love him? He loves you? You guys are serious? Then who cares!

A ring doesn't define a relationship. There are many married people who don't wear rings at all for various reasons. So consider yourself engaged despite what friends say. Plus, this will help you see before hand who you want to be in the wedding party if you choose to have one. Just don't ask them to far in advance. I don't find them to be supportive at this time. I would be happy if my friend told me they were engaged.

Agree with PP, if you want some sort of filler ring to make yourself feel better I highly suggest getting one from QALO! They're silicon and I love mine. I use it when I clean or am doing work outside so my nice one doesn't get ruined. I also used it when my ring was being resized.

A ring is definitely not needed. People put way to much stock in the ring and the man buying it. Not having a ring doesn't make you less engaged. Your friends should be more supportive. My husband didn't have money for a ring, plus we'd been sharing a bank account forever. There really wasn't a way for him to save only his money. We talked about it and I started budgeting for the ring with our money. We picked the ring out together and he proposed. There are different ways to become engaged. Just try to explain the way you feel to your friends. Good luck!

Some people never have an engagement ring, and just wear one ring as their wedding ring. Also, my sister in law, doesn't have either one! Neither does her husband. He hates the feeling of metal, (like he lines the grommets in all his jeans in iron on fabric he hates it so much), so they just didn't have them. And when they got married the silicone and wood rings weren't a thing yet. Now that they aren't they've gone this long without, I don't think they ever will get them.

As long as you are on the same page. What was interesting in your post is that you said "I know he's going to propose soon". If you say you are already engaged then why are you hoping for a proposal soon?

I agree that a ring is not required to be engaged, as long as you both agree that you are engaged. But traditionally one partner gives the other a ring and offers marriage, so don't be surprised by people's reaction to this. This isn't traditional, but that's ok! Just ignore it and be happy.

My sister did not get an engagement ring and has been married for 40 years. All 3 of her kids are married too!

GIRL I FEEL YOU. Not just my friends, but my FAMILY, have been so unsupportive. I bought a wedding dress behind their backs, have been working on centerpieces at FH's house, its crazy how big of a deal a stupid piece of jewelry is! FH got me a promise ring from Pandora for , well not engagement ring priced , and that makes people that don't know me (like vendors) believe it and not critical. Be confident in things like your venue and date to people and they will realize its real even though its easy DONT GIVE UP! You and I are in the same boat and ill be thinking of you when ever I get discouraged.

I guess when I say I know He's going to propose soon I should say he'll do his "grand gesture" or whatever the typical proposal is. Idk if lying in bed and saying let's get married next year and me agreeing is the typical proposal but that's about how it happened. So I guess I should say his grand gesture and the ring will be coming instead of saying the proposal is coming.

@edecker we are def in the same boat! Its def hurtful and to have to keep all my good stuff to yourself is hard. I do agree it has helped me with deciding on my bridal party for sure!

That is fine!!

C_Law2018, you do have your proposal story. He asked if you wanted to get married, you agreed. The location and it being just the two of you makes it just as valid as a "grand" public proposal.

I was asked if "Do you want to get married?" as I was driving him home from having dental work done. I asked if that was his proposal and he said he wanted to wait until he has a ring for me. Whether he likes it or not, that's our proposal story. We've been planning since.

Sooo, my FH proposed with his hair tie. Literally, took it off his hair and asked if I'd marry him. I happily accepted, he tied it on my ring finger and we considered ourselves engaged from that moment on. Granted, he was aware I did not care for a ring (it is not in our culture, but they have become very common here too), I had told him in the past that if the moment came that I wanted to marry someone, I could not care less about a ring, I would enjoy a memento of the engagement, but it could be a bottle cap for all I cared. The hair tie was perfect to me, it was a spur of the moment and that was all he had on him that he could use, it also happened to be a long-surviving hair tie, he had managed to hold on to it for 7 months or so, and god knows those buggers are flighty (I am convinced there is a black hole somewhere in our hair that sucks them in), so I loved that he "sacrificed" it for my finger.

I actually wore it for a couple of days, but it was too tight, so it has been placed in a box in my drawer since. We announced we planned to get married several months afterwards to our families, but we had been doing wedding research right away the two of us. When we announced we planned to get married in December, I thought that was that and for most people it was.

Then, 3 months or so ago, we set the actual date, 12/29/17 and a couple of people told me: "what do you mean, this December, are you serious?"

-"well yeah, I told you in like January that"

-"I didn't think you meant it! You hadn't said anything since!"

-"Sure, I am totally in the habit of casually mentioning life altering events daily, so why would you think I meant it...ummmm"

-But you haven't planned anything!

-Well... we have booked the church, applied for our licence, got his attire, the favours, our families have booked tickets and we are looking for venues and my wedding dress, but if you count that as nothing... fair enough I guess"

-Oh... so you are like... engaged now for real then?

-Nope, just putting deposits down for the lolz, I am sure FH has a live on the 29th anyway.

Bottom line is: You don't need a ring or anything to be engaged and what people think should happen to make it official has nothing to do with you. If you consider yourself engaged and your future spouse does too, congrats! You are engaged!

There are couples already married & choose not to wear rings, so...a ring doesn't make you engaged or married.

If you have already booked a venue, I'd say you & FH are pretty committed to getting married : )

Congrats!

I do have a ring, but FH told me he couldn't afford it (which was fine, I wanted marriage, not items.)

But I told him he could propose with a ring pop for all I care.

Maybe wait till the wedding day to get the ring. Honestly a ring isn't that big of a deal. A marriage is more dependent on the relationship then the material things. To hell with others opinions. Congratulations on the engagement and baby on the way!!

Who cares about a ring. The only thing that really matters is that you are both committed to spending your life together and a ring isn't going to change that.