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Devoted April 2022

Engaged bridesmaids?

Sarah, on December 25, 2019 at 2:27 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 30

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How many of you have had a member of your bridal party be engaged at the same time? I’m still about 6-9 months out from getting properly engaged (we’ve discussed it as a couple) and a good 2 years out from getting married, but my sister has started making noise about wanting to be engaged to her current boyfriend.

I love her boyfriend and would fully support them, and I know they’ll wait at least another year before getting engaged because they’re moving in together soon and agreed that they need to make it to the end of a lease and be sure they can live together before taking any other steps.
I’ve always planned on asking her to my my MOH, but now I’m worried that she might be engaged at the same time as me. I want to mentally prepare in case it happens, so—has anyone had an engaged MOH or bridesmaid? How has it gone for you? How did y’all make it work?

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Latest activity by Haley, on December 27, 2019 at 2:55 PM

Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on December 25, 2019 at 2:46 PM
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I was engaged in another friends wedding and my best friend isn’t getting married 3 weeks after my wedding. It didn’t impact anything at all.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on December 25, 2019 at 3:04 PM
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I have no idea why her being engaged would have any impact on your wedding. You’re not even engaged yet and neither is she. You’re worrying about hypotheticals.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 25, 2019 at 3:09 PM
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It should not make an impact at all. If she is your MOH and agrees to it then she should be committed to your wedding. Your planning will be on you but of course you two may want to discuss events you are doing to avoid conflict.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 3:19 PM
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When I married my ex-husband, one of my bridesmaids got married 4 weeks after me and I was her MOH. Her husband and my ex-husband were in both weddings also. Each of us planned our own wedding and we made sure our showers/bachelorette parties didn’t overlap.
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Expert August 2020
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 3:20 PM
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My MOH just got engaged and honestly I couldn’t be happier! I can’t imagine anything better than wedding planning alongside my best friend! Who better to understand the stress and be there
For you through it all??!
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on December 25, 2019 at 3:24 PM
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I was in a wedding this summer and engaged it didn't make a difference. We had fun planning our weddings together. Hers is done now but she is always willing to answer any questions I have, which aren't that many but it's nice to be able to do that.
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 3:54 PM
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Good to know! Thank you
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:02 PM
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Thank you! I just know I would expect her priorities to shift if she got engaged herself and wouldn’t want her to feel pressured, burnt out, or overextended. Discussing events together would be a good idea!
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:02 PM
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Fair enough—I’m glad it worked out for you guys!
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:04 PM
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Good point! Don’t get me wrong—I love her current boyfriend and would be thrilled if she got engaged. I just wouldn’t want her to stress out with both MOH duties and her own wedding to plan
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:04 PM
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Good to hear—thank you!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 25, 2019 at 4:07 PM
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I would ask her up front if she feels that she would be able to handle both. Although realistically she does not have plan or coordinate your wedding rather that is on you. I say that because I often see brides on these forums upset that their bridal party are not helping them plan when really it is not their job. Of course as brides we want them there for the important events and of course as their opinions on things (I know I do often) but just do not become frustrated especially if she is planning her own wedding possibly. I do not say that to be harsh rather just honest. Also, she will have your mom and MIL as well as a bridal party. Often most weddings I have been in I have helped the MOH's plan for showers or bachelorette so that is not something she has to spearhead. I will say one time a MOH spearheaded the bachelorette and I wish I was included but it was fine because she covered the bill ha ha ha.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on December 25, 2019 at 4:12 PM
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If she gets engaged, then tell her that. Allow her to focus on her wedding while you focus on yours. But get engaged first!
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:14 PM
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That’s fair! Unfortunately our mother passed 12 years ago and our dad passed 17 years ago so neither of us would have them for support, but we have plenty of other family to fall back on. I definitely don’t expect her to plan my wedding by any means (which is why at least a partial-service if not full-service planner is a non-negotiable must-have to me lol), but we’re both pretty high-strung people who get stressed and overwhelmed easily and I have a narrative playing out in my head already where she has to drop out of my wedding because she’s overwhelmed with her own.
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Devoted April 2022
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:16 PM
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Don’t worry, it’s coming—my partner and I both have proposals planned, she knows I’m wedding planning, and we talk about it constantly. I just don’t want a ring until we’re 100% ready to get married, which means waiting until I’m done with school and we have more money saved.
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Expert August 2020
Sarah · on December 25, 2019 at 4:19 PM
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I am her MOH as well and speaking from both sides I think it would be fine!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 25, 2019 at 4:22 PM
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Do not over stress. Wedding planning will be stressful but if you stress the unforeseen it will drive you crazy lol. I am stressed alone just waiting until the new year to decide our exact plans but I am planning anyways so I can be ready with venues and prices for the cheapskate that is my FH ha ha ha. However at the end of it I am telling myself no matter what happens I am marrying the man I love and that matters the most. If she has to back out that does not mean she is not your girl and cannot be there for your big day at the end of the day but I think if you and she agree that all she has to do is be there by your side in a nice dress the day of I think that ill take less stress.
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Dedicated November 2020
Kayla · on December 25, 2019 at 4:45 PM
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My maid of honor is engaged! I’m getting married in November, she’s getting married this June. Another of my bridesmaids was also engaged (she just got married this month). It’s been totally fine!! I’m also one of her bridesmaids. We discussed before and decided we didn’t want circumstances to change who we had standing beside us when we got married. I say don’t stress and choose who you want for your bridal party
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Expert April 2019
Allie · on December 25, 2019 at 5:56 PM
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My SIL has three married bridesmaids (including myself who got married during her engagement), two engaged bridesmaids, two bridesmaids in relationships and one single bridesmaid.

None of this was an issue.
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Super February 2020
Andrea · on December 25, 2019 at 6:02 PM
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My MOH is my sister who got engaged a month ago! It doesn’t bother me at all because we can bounce ideas back and forth. She’s also a resident so she doesn’t have much time to plan, so I’m helping her anyway I can. Both our fiancés know and are supportive of us helping each other out! She’s planning on marrying next December, so that makes it 9 months after mine in the same year. Still doesn’t bother me, I’m just happy we are both moving forward in our relationships
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Engaged bridesmaids?

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