End of engagement... end of the relationship?

If it just doesn't feel right, don't force it. As painful as it may be it hurts more to force a bad relationship than to end it. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Having one child is a stressor on a relationship, two even moreso. Do you have help with your kids? Maybe he feels as though things are just not working as planned. Do you guys get any alone time with two kids under 3? I think many of your issues are communication and spending time together.

It really depends on why you guys are fighting. Are you guys just burnt out from work/taking care of the kids and not getting time together, or are there other issues as to what is causing the fights? Counselling is good, if you both want to make it work then I think you can reconcile it. But if you don't see it going that way, or you feel that you guys have kind of given up trying, then maybe it's time to try to go your own ways. The important thing is that you both focus on getting along for the kids whether you're together or apart.

I second the idea of bringing up this concern in counseling. Let the counselor help the two of you discuss whether you both still want to be together and work towards a future together. If the answer on both sides is yes, I would say breaking off the engagement isn't the end of your relationship. If either one of you is not able to say yes, you want to continue to work on this relationship a possibly reconsider the marriage question someday because you want the relationship to go somewhere when it is ready to do so, then you should consider that it might be best for all involved if the relationship ends, too, and you agree to find a way to parent your kids as friends.

FH and I do not have kids, but we are fairly young (both 23) and been together close to 7 years, living together 4. Last year he bought the ring and took me on a weekend trip but never proposed. After that he started getting down/depressed and we "took a break," which meant I moved out. He helped me move financially and literally, helped with bills when I needed it, and we shared dog custody. A month later he wanted to get back together but I said no, because he told me he needed space to work on him. I think it shook him hearing that I wasn't just waiting to run back, I was, but I couldn't if he wasn't really ready. So after he realized that our relationship was worth it, what he wanted, and we both done lots of praying (that may not be your thing), talking with our families (were equally close with ours and each other's), we decided to "date" for a little while. Fast forward to now, we are better/ healthier than ever, looking for a house, excited for our wedding, talking future baby names, etc. I think when you have been together for a long time, and it is all you know, you fall into a rut. Or at least we did. We were very much into our routine. But now we are happy with where we are and that break may have saved us in the long run.

I hope things work out for you, no matter which way they go! Best wishes and prayers!

I'm sorry to hear. It's tough to hear those things. If he really doesn't want to get married now is the time to decide that. That being said you guys have two children together. You guys live together and have been together, does he really think marriage is going to be any different?

I hope it all works out!

I'm sorry you're going thru this. At this point, it's clear that he isn't going to marry you. He probably doesn't want to break up your family, so he's staying with you unmarried.

One thing to consider for yourself is how much does it mean to you to be married. Meaning is this an absolute deal-breaker in the relationship for you or are you just as comfortable just being together in a committed relationship? I left a nine-year relationship because marriage was a deal breaker for me and I felt he was stringing me along. With my current FH I told him if we were not ready in three years (given our age and desire to have children) then it was time for both of us to move on other relationships. Yes, a gamble but I was absolute on it and did not want to be strung along again.

Don't give up! You'll figure it out!!

Mmm 5 years, 2 babies, and he is still not "ready" to marry you. You need to leave him. You are worth MORE than this. You deserve MORE than this. Whats it going to take for him to be "ready"? Marriage is about more than the party. I don't care if you two are "young." You stop being that young once you bring other humans into this world. If you want marriage and he doesn't this is not going to work.

Steps:

1) Start to Prepare yourself mentally to leave him. Therapy is great. Don't even tell him. Do this for you and your kids.

2) Go back to school and get a career so that you can become the bread winner in your next relationship (if not bring something to the table). Look into financial aid. There is gov't aid for young moms who need daycare, rental assistance, food stamps, cash assistance, and health benefits.

3) Leave him & rebuild your self esteem. There are shelters. Reach out to family/friends.

Sorry if this is harsh and Im sorry you are going through this. Better times will come.

What do YOU want? What does HE want? These questions should be discussed during counseling sessions but what makes you think he isn't putting enough in it? Could it be that he wants out but just doesn't want to hurt you? Figure out the answers to the first 2 questions and then you can figure out what your next step is. I'm so sorry you're going thru this BTW. It utterly sucks.

Only because you brought it up, exactly how old are you? I know you said you've been together for 5 years, but people change as they grow older, especially between their teens and early twenties.