Eloping w/o kids?

It’s not simple. In no way does my comment make it seem so. You didn’t make mention of your FH even having children until after I had initially commented. Then you went back and edited your original post so that information was included. After that, I was clear that I understand that it’s hard but then I would do no kids over including his and excluding yours.

View Quoted Comment That's true. I edited it because I wanted to give people a better understanding of why I didn't choose a date that I have her and why this has been so hard. But I'm not trying to be rude, just really frustrated is all. Thanks for your input.

View Quoted Comment I don’t disagree with you. I also deal with this and know how painful it can be and a bunch of people making her feel horrible doesn’t help her situation. I’m trying to be sympathetic to what she’s going through, understanding she isn’t excluding her kid in order to include his. She’s trying to find a solution to what maybe an impossible situation and she’s not getting a lot of real advice but she is getting a lot of criticism. It sounds like she is trying to do what you did and plan her wedding accordingly but she’s working double time with two difficult exes.

I didn’t realize FH had kids either, would his kids’ mom let him have them an extra day when you have your daughter so that everyone can be there? And for the other comments, I assume that when the OP chose the date she didn’t know that her daughter’s dad would hold her hostage like that. And I’m so sorry you have to deal with that, some parents are so petty that they don’t realize they’re hurting their kids by not giving on their placement time, it’s really sad.

I would absolutely not even consider getting married without your child. One day, that child will ask why she wasn't there and will be hurt.

To put it in perspective, my ex husband is also remarrying and has told our son that he isn't invited to the wedding, for various reasons (wife to be wants one of the big fancy evening receptions and so he'd just be "in the way"). Our son is just crushed and has absolutely thrown himself into our wedding plans. He says it's his wedding, too.

It's just not worth it. I rarely say things with absolute certitude because I very much believe that people need to do what works for them, but I believe 100% there is only one right answer in this situation. Change your date. Find one that works for all the children. If that means going to court over it, do that before you consider getting married without ALL the kids. The consequences are much more than just losing a deposit.

View Quoted Comment We are working really hard to get one of them to budge but so far it's unsuccessful. I won't give up but man. If we do a weekday his girls won't be included, and if we do the weekend my daughter won't be included. The co parents are just being difficult idk, ugh.

View Quoted Comment Not sure this relates to my post, but thanks?.

View Quoted Comment

Sure it does. You asked who gets left out.

IMO the right answer, the only answer, is no one. You can find a way to make it work for something this important. Go to court; I am sure a judge would order in your favour for something like this.