Eeeeeek Lost Wedding Gift

"Hi XX! Thank you again so much for your gift, and I hope you have received our thank-you card by now. I wanted to let you know that, unfortunately, in the midst of cleaning, the check was accidentally thrown away. I am embarrassed to have to message you about it, and in no way do we expect another check! The sentiment was enough! I just wanted you to know for when you are reviewing your bank account/budget, so you aren't surprised. Again, thank you and we can't wait to see you in a few weeks!"

Thoughts??

Honestly - my cousin lost my check and I texted him about 2.5 months after the wedding when it hadn't gotten cashed and he told me they lost it - I sent a new one at that time.

I wouldn't say anything. If they're good with their balancing, they'll notice. If they're not, they'll never know

I like what Sarah said!

I wouldn't say anything. I think it makes is more awarkward than need be.

They will likely ask you about it if they notice the checks were never cashed. I wouldn't say anything.

That sucks though!

I know this will sound 'out there' but hypnosis is *terrific* for helping people remember things. It's not cheap (here in the SF Bay Area, one session can cost $300) but a good hypnotist could help you find them (or know for sure you threw them out...) in one session. Just another thought.

I'm pretty "type A" about my checkbook and would appreciate a heads-up (and would happily send a replacement). I think your proposed text is perfect.

I wouldn't include this part- " and in no way do we expect another check! The sentiment was enough!" I would guess that they'll both send you a new check; I certainly would.

I would probably skip the hypnotist....

I agree with the heads up message. I'm also nit picky about my checkbook balancing. I usually give people two bank statements to cash a check I've written. After the first statement I would reach out to the recipient and mention it hasn't cleared. After the second statement, I cancel the check and let them know in case they find it.

Okay after reading others response I amend - reach out and let them know skip the 'I don't expect another check- sentiment enough part' and just leave it that you were reaching out for account balancing purposes and tell them you are sorry - I agree I would send another if it was me

I wouldn't say anything. Let them reach out to you. Honestly... I'm not very good at balancing my check book. I check my bank statements for extra money leaving my account that hasn't but not for money that hasn't left... I would feel kind of odd like you lost it and now you're telling me and I feel like I should send another? If you lost it it's not the givers fault.

Chalk it up to lesson learned to deposit as soon as you receive!

Thank you guys for all the advice! About an hour ago, after reading responses, I did end up texting them to give them the heads up. They were super cool, and I'm glad I did because my friend's mom is very detail-oriented, and said she was glad I told her so she could stop payment on it. They also both let me know (without me mentioning anything as per your advice) that they would re-send, so that's nice for us!

We now have an official "wedding gift" box on the counter at home and will be depositing immediately if anymore checks come! Lesson learned.

Edited for grammar

Wow. That's a tough one for sure. For me, as the gift giver, I would rather know AND be able to give you the gift I had originally intended to give. I know every penny in my bank account so if you didn't notify me that you lost my check, that money would just sit there waiting and I would never use it in case you cashed it later. I'd much rather know and be able to gift it again rather than wait for a check that was never gonna be cashed. I understand it being awkward to contact them though. Ufda.

I think your text would is good! I think it's more polite to say something vs waiting for them to ask because they will probably feel awkward asking.

I think it's good you sent the text I hate when people take forever to cash checks I'm neurotic about my bank Acct and I know where every penny should be. I'd gladly send another check as well . Glad it worked out!

And now....I will be thinking and planning for a secure place or our own official wedding box. This could happen to any of us!