Dry Wedding Etiquette - Answered

Also, I don't think it's a culture thing for my area, because I don't think "The South" is a culture.

I have been to dry weddings where it was on the grounds of religion. However, if you are serving champagne for the toast then those grounds do not seem to apply. Are you considering a dry wedding due to budget reasons?

I think in general adults enjoy alcohol when they're partying. If this is not the case for your friends & family, then you know them best.

@J. Clo - Honestly the reason for my initial decision was because I didn't realize it was a requirement. I personally am not much of an imbiber (and while I realize that's not a reason to subject guests to the same manner), but the weddings I've been to were my base for planning my wedding. I know I have older family members with reservations with alcohol, but my reason wasn't for catering to them.

Thank you @Jennifer for your feedback!

The reception is intended to be a thank you for your guests for attending your ceremony. Most adults expect adult beverages at celebrations. It's less what you want and more what your guests want. If any of your friends or families drink then you need to serve alcohol.

I don't think it's a requirement. I am not providing alcohol because my FH and I RARELY drink. However, we told people if they wanted to drink they could brink beer or wine and there would be ice/bins/cups for that specifically. I know... BYOB at a wedding?! How dare I?! Well I didn't want people to expect alcohol and be pissed but also didn't want to be out $1000 on beer that I wasn't going to drink. So I say do whatever you want and think is right for you because it's about you two not your guests (even though I've read a thousand times the reception is about the guest, I don't agree it's yours!)

As long as you're considering your guests. The reception is for them so if you don't have guests who drink then dry is fine, but if you're going based on yourself alone then you might want to reconsider. My FH and I don't drink and are serving beer and wine. So it's not a lot, but most of our guests are wine drinkers.

@K.M. I realize that the reception is for the guests. That's why I'm always trying to consider what they would want and like. It's why I'm selecting an inclusive menu with my caterer and why I'm checking my decisions with WW to ensure I'm not making a mistake.

As a note, every celebration hosted by adults for adults I've been to never included alcohol. Hence my unfamiliarity with the subject. I don't know if this because of my region (so any TN/AL brides are welcome to share!)

And I am willing to serve alcohol if I have been gravely misled by my community!

Sounds good. I would say it is also a thing of knowing your crowd. If you most of your crowd does not drink then beer and wine might suffice. Ultimately the reception is meant to be a thank you to your guests for coming.

Based on real-life experience:

I attended two dry weddings. One was for legitimate religious reasons (Mennonite couple) and every guest in attendance was either also Mennonite or was familiar with their religion, and knew not to expect alcohol. Also no dancing. They had an open mic instead and it was a very chill, meaningful evening, and it was genuine to the couple.

The second dry wedding I attended? Both the bride and groom were social drinkers, and it was clearly a money saving decision. Everyone was expecting alcohol to be served, and everyone was side eyeing the couple and talking about it amongst themselves, at least at my table. Did anyone say something to the bride or groom? Of course not. But you bet your ass they complained to each other. Repeatedly.

ETA @Bahney it is refreshing to see a poster receiving comments and feedback maturely, and exploring different options instead of getting super defensive.

@Carousel - such a jarring experience compared to mine! I'm honestly astounded that alcohol is such a "thing!"

I love it. I love learning new things and changing my perspective on the world and the elusive idea of "The Perfect Wedding"

Miranda, I CAN'T drink due to health issues, FH doesn't drink. However, all my friends and family enjoy a beer with football, or wine for dinner. So, for us it was an easy decision. We will provide beer and wine, with two signature drinks. I'm not going to have a dry wedding simply because I can't drink. My guests matter to me, and I will provide wine and beer for them to enjoy. !

I attended a dry wedding in my early 20s, everyone was bored, and left early.

ETA; OP its so great to see a poster genuinely accepting advice and feedback without getting upset. Thank you!!

We're having an open bar because I know that a good majority of my guests would enjoy that.

If your guests wouldn't want to drink on your wedding, by all means, do not provide it, but for the love of god, do not make your guests pay for their beverages at the wedding, no matter what you're providing.

I also rarely drink, due to some health issues. We know that 90%+ of our guest list drink though, so we will be having an open bar. I've only ever attended weddings where alcohol was provided. Sometimes it was just beer and wine, other times it was full open bar.

While not everyone is a regular drinker, many are social drinkers and enjoy a drink or two at a wedding. They want to celebrate.

Honestly if you guys never serve alcohol in your circle i wouldnt expect it. i would talk to your vips because they know your people best. in my circle booze is essential but i know some people to the contrary and would see alcohol very different and even wasteful on theor group. if you want to provide something to a circle that doesnt drink a couple of yummy sig drinks would be fairly inexpensive and be a bit of booze.

Of course I'm not upset/defensive with the feedback! It's why I'm coming to WW, to break any predetermined mindsets in order to put me back on the straight and narrow.

So, I'm going to do some feeling out my guest list for their opinions on alcohol. My grandmother (who is essentially my MOB) despises alcohol because her father was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, I do think a large percentage of my guests have this similar "conservative" mindset, but I could be mistaken. About 70% of guest list is older family members. The remainder are my and FH's age range (mid 20s- early 30s).

Of course, I do not ever plan to have a cash bar. It's my wedding, my budget. Not my guests'.

By far one of the BEST threads about dry weddings.

That's interesting that you've had that type of experience. I've been to one wedding that had beer and wine and the rest were dry (I'm 36 for reference, and have been to more weddings than I can count), but none of them have had the party vibe you mentioned.

For me personally, my friends and my family drink so I'll have an open bar. Since I need a little help being social, it's a bit selfish too

ETA Even though all of my family are drinkers, they've all had weddings that were dry so definitely not religious reasons. And recently my aunt had a cash bar that I forgot about because it was beer and wine only, so it was dry for me. lol

I'm also having a dry wedding. I've also never been to a wedding that served alcohol so I get where you are coming from with that. Its just something I didn't think about either until I came on ww. We are having a small 50-60 ppl wedding, mostly family with kids so it works for us. Oh and I'm from GA.