Drunk Aunt

I wouldn't invite someone like that. Furthermore if asked by said person I would tell them exactly why they were not invited. You've got other things to be thinking about, save yourself the stress!

Yeah you don't want the police to have to be called at your wedding. I wouldn't invite her.

The drunks in my family won't be attending. Sorry not sorry :-)

I'd pass.

Don't invite her at all.

The bartender shouldn't be responsible for her, and how will she handle not being allowed alcohol? She already assisted another family member. What if she gets someone else to order a drink for her? What if she shows up to the wedding drunk already?

She needs to be faced with the fact that her choices have consequences. Sometimes, tough love is necessary.

Don't invite her at all. She can get pissy and your parents can disagree, however her behavior has been unacceptable and actions have consequences and this is just one of them.

Sounds like my future MIL and she unfortunately is invited to my wedding =/ good luck

If you have a professional bartender, they should know when to cut guests off. I would invite her and you can hire security as well if you feel she will still get out of control.

You can try to ask the bartenders not o serve her, but I don't think that will work. If she's really an alcoholic, she WILL find a way to get alcohol, may even bring it with her. I wouldn't invite her, and don't be afraid to tell her why. It may be the reality check she needs

I'm so sorry! My sister/MOH had to do something similar with my uncle. He hasn't assaulted someone but has come very close. He has been invited but my sister went to his house and laid down the expectations of him if he attends. We had planned for a quick escape route if needed (uber or a taxi) to shove him in if things got too tense. (Luckily he has declined his invitation)

I don't know if you have it in your budget or if the venue has it already, but maybe some security would be in order. If she finds out she's uninvited, she may show up unannounced and try to crash the wedding.

Don't invite her she needs rehab

She was arrested for assaulting a family member??? That gets her banned from family events, sorry not sorry - end of conversation.

We did not invite DH's alcoholic uncle and have absolutely no regrets about it.

Since your grandmother is invited, call her and personally explain why Aunt is not invited, and ask that she not share the wedding details like time and location with Aunt. I'm sure grandma understands- she knows her daughter is an alcoholic, knows her behavior, knows her arrest record.

I agree to have the bartender not serve her.

Adding in: This is NOT something bartenders can control. Your Aunt will likely show up drunk.

Invite your grandmother but let your grandmother know ahead of time that you will not be inviting your aunt.

I would also ask your venue if they have security or are willing to call the police in the event that your aunt found out about when and where and showed up.

It's unfortunate that you have to go through this. I hope everything goes well on your big day.

Honest question - why the hell would you even consider inviting her? I wouldn't even give it a second thought. I am trying to understand why you would WANT her there in the first place.

Thanks for feedback all! I have no intention of inviting her I was moreso wondering the best way to handle it. There is zero chance of her coming sober. She has not drank infront of anyone for at least 10 years but is bombed everytime we see her. If an alcoholic wants to drink, they will find a way.

My mom stepped up and told her that as a family we have decided that she cannot be invited. She immediately blamed my other aunt for this (obviously her addiction is not to blame). My mom said that if she goes to rehab then maybe we would reconsider but unfortunately this is the way it needs to be. I am fully expecting my grandma to try to guilt trip us but it is what it is. This enabling behavior has allowed my aunt to spiral downward for 20 years and avoid any repurcussions.

Good plan, lkg72.

I hope your aunt gets the help she needs. And props to you for actually helping your aunt by not enabling her addiction. Best wishes!

Good!!!! I'm really glad you put your foot down and that your family is backing you. It sounds like she really needs help. It's unfortunate, but also not your responsibility. You don't have to allow it or be around it. Your grandma will just have to deal.